Martyrdom: The Common Mistake
I’ve written about not needing to sacrifice before (09/27/2006 and 10/17/2006) but it is such a common obstacle that I encounter with students I must write about it again. Many students – and I was certainly one of them – make the mistake at the beginning of their path of deciding to put up with an uncomfortable, unhappy or downright painful situation because they think they’re supposed to use it to learn forgiveness. They become martyrs and practice one of the ego’s versions of forgiveness -- what the Course calls forgiveness-to-destroy because it reinforces the illusion that you are separate from God rather than lets it go.
Martyrdom can take a couple of forms. One is “I don’t like this situation but I’m supposed to use this as an opportunity to learn forgiveness.” Another is, “I really want this but I shouldn’t want anything in the world because it’s all an illusion. So I’m going to try to not want it.”
Sacrifice is the ego’s highest value because it was made from the sacrifice of your Self. So it’s no wonder we all fall into this trap at some point. Let’s look at what’s going on in these situations:
First, you are deciding for yourself how to use these situations. You are usurping the Holy Spirit’s role. It is up to the Holy Spirit what you will learn, how and when. Can you see how the ego takes over here, under the guise of learning forgiveness and detachment?
Second, forgiveness and detachment occur when you recognize something is an illusion, it has no real value. Letting it go is easy. Forgiveness shows up in two ways: A painful situation is transformed into one that is no longer painful or it falls away. By deciding you are going to use it for your own purposes you are holding on to it. You haven’t forgiven it. You are turning it into an idol.
Third, you are always teaching yourself what you believe about yourself. What are you teaching yourself when you are suffering or depriving yourself? That you deserve pain, that you don’t deserve what you want. Certainly, this is what the ego wants you to believe God wants for you. But the Holy Spirit recognizes what illusions you can release and which ones you are not yet ready to release. The latter the Holy Spirit will use in the time being until you learn to see they have no value. Which teacher in your mind do you want to follow?
Fourth, each situation above clearly teaches you that there is value in sacrifice. It’s the ego that’s telling you, “You have to suffer to learn forgiveness” and “You aren’t supposed to want anything in this world.” Does the Course tell us to suffer or to withdraw from the world? No! It says there is no value in suffering and the Holy Spirit will use your life in the world to teach you forgiveness. Wanting things in this world is a problem only when you think your ultimate happiness, peace, safety and fulfillment comes from them. Only then are they idols that block your awareness of God.
Fifth, you are trying to be further along the path of awakening than you are. As you learn to trust the Holy Spirit, as you commune more and more with God, you recognize you already have everything and you will want less and less in the world. That’s detachment that comes naturally. You can’t force it. You cannot pretend to not want what you want. You cannot lie or the Holy Spirit will not be able to guide you. Better to say, “I really want this, Holy Spirit. So I’m going to turn this over to you so that you can use it in such a way as to lead me Home.” And watch how the things you want come to you in a form that will teach you forgiveness naturally.
www.acimmentor.com
Martyrdom can take a couple of forms. One is “I don’t like this situation but I’m supposed to use this as an opportunity to learn forgiveness.” Another is, “I really want this but I shouldn’t want anything in the world because it’s all an illusion. So I’m going to try to not want it.”
Sacrifice is the ego’s highest value because it was made from the sacrifice of your Self. So it’s no wonder we all fall into this trap at some point. Let’s look at what’s going on in these situations:
First, you are deciding for yourself how to use these situations. You are usurping the Holy Spirit’s role. It is up to the Holy Spirit what you will learn, how and when. Can you see how the ego takes over here, under the guise of learning forgiveness and detachment?
Second, forgiveness and detachment occur when you recognize something is an illusion, it has no real value. Letting it go is easy. Forgiveness shows up in two ways: A painful situation is transformed into one that is no longer painful or it falls away. By deciding you are going to use it for your own purposes you are holding on to it. You haven’t forgiven it. You are turning it into an idol.
Third, you are always teaching yourself what you believe about yourself. What are you teaching yourself when you are suffering or depriving yourself? That you deserve pain, that you don’t deserve what you want. Certainly, this is what the ego wants you to believe God wants for you. But the Holy Spirit recognizes what illusions you can release and which ones you are not yet ready to release. The latter the Holy Spirit will use in the time being until you learn to see they have no value. Which teacher in your mind do you want to follow?
Fourth, each situation above clearly teaches you that there is value in sacrifice. It’s the ego that’s telling you, “You have to suffer to learn forgiveness” and “You aren’t supposed to want anything in this world.” Does the Course tell us to suffer or to withdraw from the world? No! It says there is no value in suffering and the Holy Spirit will use your life in the world to teach you forgiveness. Wanting things in this world is a problem only when you think your ultimate happiness, peace, safety and fulfillment comes from them. Only then are they idols that block your awareness of God.
Fifth, you are trying to be further along the path of awakening than you are. As you learn to trust the Holy Spirit, as you commune more and more with God, you recognize you already have everything and you will want less and less in the world. That’s detachment that comes naturally. You can’t force it. You cannot pretend to not want what you want. You cannot lie or the Holy Spirit will not be able to guide you. Better to say, “I really want this, Holy Spirit. So I’m going to turn this over to you so that you can use it in such a way as to lead me Home.” And watch how the things you want come to you in a form that will teach you forgiveness naturally.
www.acimmentor.com
Comments