"Nicer" Ego Traits

             After The Break here, when the “I”, ego, fell away, the gamut of darker personal experiences rose to conscious awareness, without covers. One of the aspects to emerge was a weak, whiny, self-pitying aspect that felt childish. In fact, for a while, it was thought here that perhaps something from the inner child was trying to be seen, but in time it was realized this was just fear appearing as insecure and whiny. What we think of as ego can be childish and often seems undeveloped and unevolved. The thing is, if those traits are ego, what is rationality, responsibility, empathy, compassion, strength of character—in other words, maturity? Certainly, these personal traits aren’t the Son of God or the Holy Spirit as those are not persons. So, if they aren’t ego, what are they? This mind did not know how to label them until ego fell away at The Break.

It’s become clear here now that ego used A Course in Miracles to dissociate its negative side by labeling only fearful personal traits ego and remained confused about what to call “nicer” personal traits. A relationship with one’s inner teacher does lead to accelerated maturity, but obviously not all mature people are spiritual. Many wise, responsible, mature people are, say, atheists and/or secular humanists. So perhaps it’s best to call the negative aspects of ego simply fear. Fear is the central experience of ego and is never far from ego’s “nicer” traits.

This mind thought if ego fell away it would be at peace. But it never thought how the person would show up. There are, of course, vague models of “masters”, like Jesus, but those are so clearly ego projections of ideals. Someone who is relentlessly positive, rational, responsible, strong without force, loving, compassionate; someone who never feels fear or its negative offshoots, so constantly exudes loving calmness. In other words, what was expected were certain personal traits to fall away leaving other personal traits! As has been stated in recent articles, enlightenment comes to conscious awareness (mind), it does not come to a person. It is not about traits.

Last week’s article was about ego being redefined in this mind away from certain traits and experiences to the whole “I” experience as it all fell away at The Break. Really, ego isn’t traits, either, is is the assertion of the “I” experience as reality. This shows up as the personal experience being the center of one’s mind. Thoughts, feelings, the person’s life in the world, the world itself are experienced as existence when the “I” (ego) is the center of consciousness. When ego falls away, those things, as well as the conditioned thought system of ego, remain, but they are recognized as only appearances. Enlightenment is not appearances changing, it is not a certain kind of person showing up, it is the significance of appearances changing in the mind. The “space” in which appearances appear rises to conscious awareness and is recognized as true existence.

For this mind, The Enlightened Mind showed up first and then years later ego fell away. So, there was a sort of pre-enlightenment stage where truth was discerned increasingly but ego remained the central focus. Some of my clients are in that stage. I recognize ego remains central for them not because they still experience the whole range of personal experiences, not because they wonder why those things are still here, but because they still judge them. They recognize that for something in their mind these things only arise and pass but there is still something else for which these things are central. Truth has shown up to stay, but ego’s journey has not yet come to an end.

Am I suggesting that you should not make the person and its world central? No! If ego is here in your mind, that is how it will be. Practice can help you mitigate the worst of ego, but it cannot make it fall away. Your awareness does not have to be limited to the person and its world. You can take moments to look past it, to acknowledge it is not all there is to existence. And if you have an awareness of truth beyond ego, the effect is the “nicer” traits of ego are valued more because they feel better, for both giver and receiver.

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