Facing Typecasting

            In show biz, there’s a thing called “typecasting” where an actor is cast to play the same type of character often if not always. This is most common with character actors, the supporting actors you see in many TV shows and movies. For example, the actor who always plays the supportive best friend, or the conceited sister, or the critical mother. Originally, it’s based on how they look, and if they play the character well, they can get stuck being typecast. Once, Liz here saw an actor who usually played tough characters, often bad guys, in an interview and she was floored. He was well groomed, artsy, sensitive, and soft-spoken in contrast to his rugged face and how he was usually cast.

When Liz was a child, she learned early in primary school that the best-looking kids were not necessarily the best people. They were nice to look at but not necessarily nice to be around. She also quickly learned that someone she liked to be around grew better looking to her over time. Looks and personality and traits like intelligence did not always line up.

As a young adult, Liz had some painful lessons in how looks can be deceiving. Random physical expressions did not indicate anything about a person’s character. For example, intelligent-looking eyes did not mean an intelligent person. A very polished, confident-looking person could turn out to be quite crude and insecure. There were many rather startling experiences over this disconnect! Sometimes the most shocking experience is watching someone speak and move when you had only seen their still photo before. It can transform one’s whole opinion of them.

This mind learned from psychology a truth that was reinforced by A Course in Miracles: We respond to others from the past, often unconsciously. For example, you meet someone who looks or acts like a beloved teacher from your childhood and like and trust them before you really know them. Or someone reminds you of the uncle who raped you as a child, and you recoil instantly from them and won’t have anything to do with them. When the Course refers to “writing scripts” for others, this is what it means. We typecast others based on their looks and behavior before we know them. We have instant expectations of them and then we are disappointed when they turn out to not be the “character” we had cast them as in our lives. This is why apps for dating lead to so much disappointment. They are based on superficial traits, not whole people.

So, this mind was aware that when it came to people, appearances and initial behavior were not indicators of overall personality, character, and intelligence. But since The Break, when the core of ego fell away, this has become vividly exposed and impossible to not see.

As The Break approached, this mind had the experience of the world becoming two-dimensional because meaning had been stripped from it. It was like walking around the set for a play without knowing what the play was to be. The props and scenery have no context, so no meaning. This mind discovered all the depth to the world had come from the meaning it had ascribed to things, including people, and now everyone and everything were cardboard cut-outs. This was not a bad experience; it was fascinating. And relieving. Wholeness had arrived. This mind no longer needed things from people, things it turned out were expectations projected from this mind in the first place. It could be more honest about people. Its illusions about them were fading.

After The Break, this went further, but in an unusual way. Many people were more like caricatures than characters because they more often seemed to play the roles assigned to them by this mind. This was funny, it felt as though this mind had actually “written” them. This mind does not have an explanation for this yet, except perhaps, not needing things from others, it is able to align others’ appearances to their actual characters and other traits. It isn’t looking at them and thinking it sees something it needs in them based on their appearance or initial behavior.

Until this happens naturally for you, you just need to be aware that you are seeing things in other that are not there. This is one way of facing the illusions of ego. When you have a strong emotional reaction to someone, positive or negative, know that indicates you are projecting; you are seeing illusions. Take time to get to know people, whether potential lover or friend or co-worker. Oh, I know, caution is not as fun as indulging strong emotions, but you’re diving in with people who are in fact strangers, so no surprise that drama, drama, drama follows because of unmet expectations or worse, someone turns out to be dangerous. But drama is stressful and you want peace, right? Or why else are you studying the Course or something related? On the other hand, if you want drama, then be aware of your part in it. You expected certain things, consciously or unconsciously, based on an initial judgment, and you didn’t take the time to see if they were realistic or not. You cast someone in a part without knowing if they were suited to play it. So, the other didn’t fail you; your expectations failed you. 

>>>> 

If you have a question the answer to which you feel may be helpful to others, send it to Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered in this newsletter/blog.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ask: Any insights on accepting not having the partner and family I want?

Committed to the Spiritual Process

Why It Is Important to Accept the "Dream" As It Is