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"Dying" and Being Reborn in Spirit

He thought he learned willingness, but now he sees that he does not know what the willingness is for. (T-4.I.A.7)
Nothing prepared this mind for dropping the ego (personal thought system). (http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-ego-has-fallen.html). When it happened I was prepared to handle it, but not for the specific nature of the process I was to go through. That is unique to each mind, because each mind has its own distinct expectations, structures, and habits to undo. The shock and the need for ensuing adjustments, however, do seem universal.
The “life” in this mind before last summer when the Golden Light came to stay is over. It was not really a “life”, but a misidentification. So to the part of this mind that was identified with the self (body/personality) and ego (personal thought system), it is as though it “died”. I was very amused to find at the end of May that I wrote an article at the end of April saying the ego falling away is not frightening. I didn’t remember wri…

The Ego Has Fallen

Normally, I don’t write about my experiences until I have processed them and they have or are about to pass. But such a huge shift has occurred in this mind that it will affect what I write going forward and I need to lay the groundwork for sharing what occurs as I go.
I cannot even begin to describe the May I just had. I came to fully see that the ego (personal thought system) has fallen from this mind. The even better news is I began to slip into a Higher Awareness and have had regular experiences of unbounded Love and Joy. Every day of May was filled with thunderous insights, realizations, and copious processing. This episode is not over. It’s just less intense. At least for now. Who knows what’s up ahead?
Last April, I wrote an article describing how I knew self-concepts had fallen from this mind. The following week I wrote how writing that article helped me to see that self-identification had fallen away, only my mind had not caught up with this fact. What is self-identification…

Ask: What is your interpretation of the line about all events being planned for your good?

“What is your interpretation of the quote from Lesson 135, paragraph 18: ‘…everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?’” – KA
To understand this idea, you must read the whole paragraph:
“What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to eternal life.” (W-135.18)
The lines after the part you quoted make it clear that the Holy Spirit’s “plan” is an interpretation of the self’s experiences in the world. The same “steps” it took can be looked at in two ways, one leading to the idea of death, the other to awareness of Eternal Life.
I wrote about this more here: http://acimm…

Ask: Would you explain how you understand ego dynamics in an unholy relationship?

“…Would you explain your understanding of the ego dynamics of the unholy relationship from (T-17.III) ‘Shadows of the Past’.” – WW (May 25, 2018)
What A Course in Miracles refers to as an “unholy relationship” in that section is one where you see, usually unconsciously, someone from your past in another in the present, and you then play out your anger with the person in the past in the present relationship. For example, someone may unconsciously remind you of the uncle who abused you, or the fifth grade teacher who was unfair to you, or your mother who abandoned you, or your father who was emotionally absent, etc. The unconscious reminder may be triggered by appearance, personality, or behavior.
This projection of the past on present relationships is how all personal relationships begin. After all, all we know is the past. It is not always negative. Sometimes you may instantly like someone because they remind you of someone you liked in the past. This is why it is important to get to …

Radical Self-Honesty Required

In order to undo all the false beliefs in your mind that stand in the way of inner peace, you have to be willing to be radically honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself you cannot be honest with anyone else—including the Holy Spirit (Awareness of Truth in your mind).
It is not enough to say to the Holy Spirit, “I have this emotional/psychological pain. Please take it from me.” If you really want it removed, what you have to mean is, “I have this emotional/psychological pain. Please help me find the thoughts causing it so we can undo them together.” This means you have to be completely honest with yourself first about all that you feel and think.
Oh, were you expecting the path to peace to be a comfortable process? Alas, no! You have to face your beliefs in guilt and sin and the fear they cause, in their many forms, no matter how trivial, stupid, or shameful you think them, to undo them. This is very difficult at first because they seem very real to you. This is why …

Seeing the Choice More Clearly

I have used my spirituality to not fully experience the pain of the human experience. I have not denied the pain completely, but I also have not acknowledged the pain completely. And now I see that I will not let it go until I fully accept the experience as it is. Otherwise, I hold back pieces of it and cannot totally release it.
For example, the Holy Relationship I had with E was also a special relationship that ended. Oh, I felt the pain. But I also used the Holy part of our relationship to mitigate the pain. I’d tell myself things like, “but there was no real loss” because of the Holy Relationship, which I remained aware of. But there was a loss! And, real or not, I experienced it as very real. In form, in time, loss happens. And it is never undone in time. One goes on, maybe even gets over. Time does mitigate the pain. But, in the story of time, the loss occurred at that point in time.
The way out of loss is not using Truth to deny it where it seems to happen. The way out is to r…

Ask: Can you clear up these purported paradoxes about the Holy Spirit and individuality?

“I've been studying/reading Circle of Atonement's Robert Perry's (co-author of the New ACIM Complete and Annotated Edition) " Return to the Heart of God" and in a passage about the Holy Spirit he talks about paradoxes the Holy Spirit as both the Voice for God and He (HS) is God's Voice. Then he brings up another paradox the Course paints a picture of Heaven in which there are beings that have their own identity and their own will, yet are also at one with the whole and in perfect unison with a larger will. This is a bit perplexing; how much do we bring with us, our individual identity into Heaven?” - JW
I’m not certain why the Holy Spirit as the “Voice for God” or as “God’s Voice” would be a paradox unless one reads “God’s Voice” as God speaking rather than as “God’s Spokesman”. If you read it as the latter, it means the same as “Voice for God”. (Voice for God = Spokesman for God/God’s Voice = God’s Spokesman). But perhaps the paradox is something else?
A Cour…