Higher Awareness and the Given Life

The hardest thing to convey about this huge shift in my mind is how the new life that has come to it and is expressed through the self is not a continuation of the old life that fell away with the ego (personal thought system). It is a whole new life, inward and outward. Sometimes I wonder, “Why Australia?” And the answer is, “Because that’s where this life is.” I might as well ask of the old life, “Why the US?” It’s just where that life was.
I have had the sense since this new life broke upon me (which is what it felt like) that I am moving into a life that is already whole and complete. I do not have to make it. I just have to walk into it. It is given, not as in “something is giving it to me”, but as in, “it is already established”. I have a deep sense of recognizing this experience. This is the view in Higher Awareness.
Where the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit) is found within and is universal (the same in everyone) Higher Awareness is the label I give to the individual experien…

Why the Mystical Holy Relationship Threatens the Ego

Thirty-four years ago I experienced my first mystical Holy relationship. I knew then that the Holy relationship, if allowed to become fulfilled, would result in a 180 degree turn in my experience of a personal relationship. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what I was seeing. I couldn’t have said then that it corrected cause and effect. But I did sense it would undo something fundamental to the ego’s (personal thought system’s) way of perceiving. And at that time that was my way of perceiving.
In the mystical Holy relationship, instead of seeing another as the source (cause) of Love (effect), you recognize Love is the Source (cause) of your relationship (effect) with the other. Sounds great, doesn’t it? And it is! It is Joyous for a relationship that expresses Love to show up. But therein lies the threat to the ego: The relationship is simply here, already whole and complete. The ego teaches you to make relationships to get Love and/or to express your personal desires and values.
A …

Because I Made It

A few weeks ago I wrote about the part of my mind that overlearned the ego (personal thought system), was the most attached to it, and was the last part to acknowledge that it was gone. (Click here to read the article). I called this part of my mind the ego-identifier.
The ego-identifier still holds the lessons from the ego dear. It thought the self and the ego were its identity; it thought its whole purpose was to identify with the self and ego. But it is really a part of my mind and so it is capable of unlearning those lessons and integrating with the rest of my mind, which is rising to a Higher Awareness. I’ve learned more about the ego watching the ego-identifier being undone than I could when the ego was still a part of my mind.
I refer to the time when the ego (personal thought system) dropped but I didn’t know it as the “Mansion and shack” time. The ego fell when I felt, truly, that I was done with pain. It was not a rancorous feeling; just a fact. But I went into shock and I …

Purpose as Expression Rather Than Cause

Last week I wrote how the mystical Holy relationship corrects cause and effect. Instead of seeing another as the source (cause) of Love (effect) for you, you recognize Love is the Source (cause) of your relationship (effect). Another way to say this is that the mystical Holy relationship’s purpose is not to cause Love, but to express Love.
Part of correcting cause and effect is redefining the purpose of everything from cause to expression. What happens in time is not to bring a certain end into existence (salvation, atonement, undoing, etc). That end has already occurred. The moment the idea of not-Truth arose, it was undone by Truth’s all-encompassing nature. So time does not bring about the Undoing (Atonement). It expresses it. In time, it seems like the idea of not-Truth arose long ago and its undoing is in some indefinite future. Time takes an idea that was over in a moment and tells it as an unfolding story. So the Undoing is always happening, only in slooooooow motion. The Undo…

The Mystical Holy Relationship Corrects Cause and Effect

In my first mystical Holy relationship with E thirty-four years ago, I experienced great joy, but I also sensed the “cost” of the Holy relationship. The cost was the special relationship. The cost was the ego (personal thought system). I couldn’t characterize then the shift that the Holy relationship would bring. I could only sense it. But I now know that the Holy relationship corrects the confusion of cause and effect, completely undoing the special relationship.
The special relationship is the ego’s greatest deception. The experience of the ego is lack, and the special relationship is supposed to supply that lack. Mostly, we don’t think in those terms. But we do feel that the special relationship will save or fix us or make us whole somehow. The idea is that this other person, be it parent, sibling, friend, lover, or partner will supply our lack. We are drawn to them because we see them as the source of Love, Which is an experience of Wholeness.
In the special relationship, the per…

The Ego-identifier

From what I’ve read and heard, when the ego (personal thought system) falls from a mind, what follows is a unique experience. Some things seem universal, like emptiness and varying degrees of disorientation. Also, acclimating to the absence as well as the Peace that comes. But exactly what process a mind embarks on to recognize what happened and to adjust to it seems pretty idiosyncratic. So don’t expect that the particulars that I write about my experience will be your own.
I went into three and a half years of shock after the ego fell from this mind. Three years in, the emptiness, which I did not yet understand, became a delicious Spaciousness. This was filled with a Golden experience of Love. But I didn’t understand why this was happening. I didn’t dare think the ego had fallen. That seemed, well, egotistical! And, moreover, I was still having egoic responses. Only those had become very shallow.
The events I’ve written about lately that began four months ago, however, made it clea…

Shattered Expectations

Often I have written that this path has not unfolded the way I thought it would. I had expectations based on what I read, but had not yet experienced. So they were formed through the filters of my past and what I only understood so far. Other expectations were formed in guilt and fear. And still others were based on the specific experiences of others, which were never meant to be applied to everyone.
There was a time when my study was all in my intellect and I pushed away my mystical experiences. Intellectual study led to new concepts, but brought no peace and no clarity. Only experience would bring peace and clarity. I eventually learned to let my experiences, rather than what I read in a book, lead the way. And only then did I really understand what I had read.
Thankfully, miraculously, my willingness to experience for myself overrode my expectations. And this has led to shattered expectations, but fascinating, illuminating experiences.
My recent articles rattled some of my readers…