Showing posts from January, 2009

Letting Go of Judgment

The other day I was thinking about a friend’s troubles. I was analyzing her situation, in particular the motivations of a very dark, frightened person at the heart of the mess she is in. I realized that I was getting pleasure from this analysis and I recognized that what I was feeling was relief. I was relieved that I’m not living in such darkness anymore. This niggled at me in a way that tells me I am coming from ego. Upon examination I realized that it wasn’t that I think I am “better than” because I have let go of so many of the illusions of ego but that I was pretending that there are “degrees” of ego identification. My identification is really no different just because it’s not as deep and dark as it was. Letting go of ego is a process but as long as I identify with ego I identify with ego. It won’t be gone until it’s all gone.

I keep finding these little traps of ego, these myriad forms of judgment that are the whole way ego thinks: evaluating, comparing, weighing, measuring, dis…

Don't Measure - Trust

For a long time if I was cranky or uncomfortable or simply not at peace I thought I was “failing” on my path to reach God. This was of course a daily occurrence. I measured every tiny up or down as though my mood was the measure of my success on my path to God. And if I was depressed, conflicted, or unhappy – which was most of the time – I’d think that perhaps I was stalled, or worse, that I’d had a set-back.

What I’ve learned along the way, though, is that what I am personally going through has nothing at all to do with the Holy Spirit in me. To think it does is the arrogance of the ego. The Holy Spirit works through me and in me regardless of all of the ego’s frantic distractions. I did my individual part years ago when I invited the Holy Spirit into my awareness so I’ve already “succeeded”, if you want to call it that. In time I learned that peace comes when I stop measuring and I trust. I trust that God is here despite what is appearing in front of the body’s eyes or th…


Acceptance has turned out to be the most surprisingly useful tool for me as I awaken to God. The first time I used it was when I felt lost and stuck and someone I turned to for advice and guidance told me I had a way to go before I would find relief from my conflict and pain. I had sensed that that was true, but I had been fighting it. To accept it I needed someone else to say what I knew. My conflict and pain did not vanish, but they were greatly mitigated by my accepting that I was where I was at the moment. It made me more determined than ever to continue to put one foot in front of the other to get Where I was going. I realized I wasn’t going to get to God by struggling, but by dealing right now with whatever obstacles I had to my awareness of God’s Presence.

I’ve learned that acceptance is an aspect of forgiveness. When I accepted that ego (in me or others) cannot be fixed then I was able to let it go wherever and however it manifested. When I accepted that the world is inherently…


At some point every student I work with expresses to me that they feel they are going nuts trying to understand how the world can not be real. They can see it, taste it, smell it, feel it, hear it – so how can it not be real? The obvious response to this is that what they are using to measure reality is something that is itself not real – a body. They are experiencing an illusion with part of the illusion itself, so what can they expect it to report to them?

Only God is Real, and God is Formless, Infinite, Eternal Being. God is. No objects or symbols or words can convey or explain Reality because they are limiting, and Reality is Limitless. Physical solidness, then, does not determine what is real, but what is not real. God is Everything and Everywhere, so what is something and somewhere is not real. There is no form to grasp in God, so what is solid and can be measured or sensed with something solid, is not Reality.

You can experience Reality only within yourself. Because Reality simpl…