Showing posts from September, 2017

Ask: How do you know if you have outgrown your relationship?

An interesting follow-on topic in your blog may be specific examples that may be used to determine if you have outgrown your relationship…as it applies to ACIM followers…” – JW
It does not matter if one is a student of A Course in Miracles or not. It does not matter the relationship, whether it be romantic, family, friend, to a job, to an object, etc. The determinant of when to leave a relationship is the same:
When the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving.
Some people are healthier and can recognize it is time to leave before it gets too painful. In their case, they recognize that if they stay the pain of staying will outweigh the pain of leaving. They do not wait for it to get too painful.
>>>>> Are you in a painful relationship and trying to determine if it’s time to leave? Email me at to set up a telephone appointment. Learn more at

If you have a question the answer to which you think will help others, email it to me at

Resistance is the Path

A common issue with my clients is the resistance they feel to practice, be it study, meditation, doing the lessons, making the Holy Spirit (Awareness of Truth in your mind) their Constant Companion, etc. But resistance is part of the process. It does not mean something is wrong. It does not mean you are failing.
Resistance really means “not ready” or “not now”. It does not mean you have fallen off the path. For example, you may go through a hungry stage where you cannot study enough. But then you find one day that you do not want to study at all. Or if you try the words just seem to bounce of your mind and not penetrate. This is not necessarily resistance to further study. This can be that you are so saturated with what you have taken in that you need to process it before you can take in more. A lot of this processing is unconscious. It shows up as a lack of motivation to study. But when you are done processing you will find yourself motivated to study again.
Sometimes you are just …

Only What You Have Not Given Can Be Lacking

“Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.” (T-17.VII.4)
This quote is from the Text of A Course in Miracles. In context, it is about Helen Schucman’s and Bill Thetford’s faith in their Holy Relationship. They were being told not to blame the other when they lost sight of the Holiness of their relationship. The Vision of the Holy Relationship was within each. It did not come to each from the other. So if one did not see Holiness in the other the problem with within them, not in the other.
This is, of course, a central lesson in ACIM. The issue is always within you. I often use this quote with clients in a slightly different context. They will share with me that they are not getting something from a relationship. Often they will take this idea and feel that if they just gave enough forgiveness or love the other would change. But I ask them if they are giving themselves, through the relationship, what they want from the other. For example, if they are in a relationsh…

Willingness, Not Submission or Surrender

There are certain words that students still identified with the self use in their relationship with the Holy Spirit (Awareness of Truth in their own minds) that not only have negative connotations that indicate or increase fear; they are also not applicable. Two of those words are “submit” and “surrender”.
To submit or surrender to the Holy Spirit would mean, first, that the self is the correct view of yourself and it is from this view that you must submit or surrender to the Holy Spirit; second, that the Holy Spirit is something separate from you; third, that you can give up your power to It. All of these are erroneous.
The difference between submission and surrender is that submission sounds less defiant than surrender. Submission means you recognize the Holy Spirit’s greater power and surrender sounds like you were defeated by the Holy Spirit. But neither attitude is applicable toward the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit is the thought system in your mind that speaks for the Tr…