Showing posts from April, 2019

Ask: Did hitting rock bottom prevent you from hearing the Holy Spirit?

“…Whenever you have faced the rock bottom, did your feelings at the time block out hearing Truth? …” – SS
Yes, sometimes they did. In those times I would remind myself that Truth was still here, whether or not I was aware of It. This gave me perspective and brought me some relief. It reminded me that Truth did not need me to be aware of It, which diminished for me the significance of anything I was going through in a passing moment. If I could continue with my practices of turning to Truth (4 Habits for Inner Peace), I did so. But, often, until I actually hit bottom, I would be in too much resistance to engage in any practice. Then I would wait until I did hit bottom (became more miserable than I was resistant) and became willing to open myself to Truth by engaging in them again.
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In August of 2017 the Golden Light of Love flowed into my mind and, much to my surprise, with It came a romance novel that I felt compelled to write (A Good Woman). I cannot say that I “channeled” it, but it certainly seemed “given” to me. I was immersed in it everywhere I went and I was inspired to put ordinary situations or events that I encountered into it. It was baffling, but enjoyable, and I just went with it. That book was followed by another novel (Towing the Moon, currently out to readers for feedback). When I wrote that one, the Golden Light had receded, and I was more settled into the writing process, but still often inspired. After this, the life of the self (body, personality) with which this mind once identified radically shifted. A Holy Relationship had come and suddenly the life the self had lived became a former life. And this mind found itself in a new relationship with the self and the world. It feels it is the Author of this new life, the self an actor playing out a…

I Will the Process

Last week it came over me that I have chosen everything that has happened to me. I saw that I shaped every part of it. I felt this clearly and felt how empowering seeing this, as with so many of my recent insights, is. And then it hit me: What needs to be empowered? The little will. And in a moment I saw that where others have famously let go of the little will all at once and become egoless, I am still exerting it in this slow-motion release. I am responsible for how long this is taking. And I always have been. I am the one that made what could take an instant into a process. I said, in essence, “Yes, I will go to Truth—but on my terms.”
“This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time.” (T-Introduction)
Thirty-five years ago I became a student of A Course in Miracles and very quickly had a direc…

One Will, Either Way

Last week I wrote about how fear is simply the experience of what I call the “little will”. I wrote how I used to think I was afraid “of” something, but I’ve discovered that fear is really just another experience. It is the experience that is the opposite of Love. Love is the condition of Being. It is an experience of abundant wholeness and peace and happiness. Being is effortlessly willed. The little will, however, is a bit of Will exerted in opposition of Being/Will. You can recognize it by the sense of effort it requires. When I am fearful or feeling any of its many manifestations (anxiety, anger, depression, etc.) I simply remind myself that the feeling is not the point. What’s really going on is I’m exerting the little will. How empowering this is! It helps me to see that there’s really no difference between the experience of Love and the experience of ego (personal thought system) because the mind and will behind them are the same. I am not weak when I’m afraid. In fact, the pow…

The Little Will and Fear

(This was supposed to go out last week, on April 3, when I was out of town, but for some reason it didn't post...)

Last week I wrote about the little will, which is what I call my exertion of a will apart from my True Will. It is a left over habit from ego-identification; probably the chief one. One of the most important insights I’ve had about the little will is that when I am fearful, I am exerting the little will. The ego (personal thought system) is a thought system of guilt and fear. That is the experience you have when you are ego-identified. There is no guilt/fear without the ego and no ego without guilt/fear. Yet, I always thought of fear as an emotion that had its source in something I considered fearful, for example, some anticipated loss. So I thought I was afraid “of” something. But now I see that fear is simply the condition of a thought system and fear and all of its manifestations have as their source that thought system and nothing else. When I am fearful it is not …