Showing posts from February, 2015

Ask: What comfort can you give a child whose father just died?

“I know this world/body is not real it something I created out of my vane imaging {ego}. I understand that but What comfort can you share with an eight year old child whose father just died. I know the usual "He's in heaven with God ", etc.  Confused on how to counsel My Great Grandaughter  from an ACIM VIEW POINT. I GET TEARS EYES THINKING WHAT SHE IS GOING THRU.” – JP
It is the same comforting a child as it is comforting an adult. First, get yourself out of the way. Put aside your own need to comfort and ask what the other needs. Most people just want to be heard and understood. So listen to your great-granddaughter and validate what you hear. “I see you are missing your Dad. I know it’s very painful”, etc. And you may want to give a lot of hugs! But make sure she actually wants the hugs and that you are not just satisfying your own urge to “fix” her. Loss is a part of life in the world. Grief is not bad or wrong. It is the normal response that the body and the human psy…

Ask: What about PMS making it hard to get past the ego?

“I notice that despite all of my work with the Holy Spirit and using correct perception of my ego's thoughts that PMS time still gives me a difficult time.  It seems that a hormone shift just changes my ability to deny the ego its "voice".  I know Eckhart Tolle addressed this as a manifestation of our collective experience here....I was wondering what your understanding is.” – MB
Mood-swings are just part of the experience of female selves. The degree varies from woman to woman and month to month. If you know your cycle you know that negative emotions can be chemically induced or exaggerated when you are pre-menstrual and when you are ovulating. You know not to take them seriously and to ride out the episodes each month. Sometimes, if it’s bad enough, it does make it seem like you cannot get past the ego. Irritability, depression, foreboding, and/or sadness are its playground and if you aren’t aware of what is going on it can have a field day with you! But if you pay atte…

Assertion Is Not Aggression

(To clarify: The boundaries discussed here are about boundaries for the self at the level of form. They are the practical result at the level of form of being aware of your wholeness in Truth. Discussions in spiritual teachings about the dropping away of the boundary of the self refer to a an experience that transcends the level of form.)
Sometimes students tell me that they feel that setting boundaries is an attack on others. This is because in the past they didn’t set boundaries until they felt so violated that they felt they had to become angry and aggressive to protect themselves. They would blow up at others or cut them out of their life for not respecting boundaries that they never clarified. Their anger seemed to be about others. But really they were angry with themselves for allowing others to abuse or to manipulate them.
When you are confused about your worth you feel uncertain about where to set your boundaries. You feel that you do not have the right to expect respect fro…

I Am Whole and You Are Whole

To follow up on the last article about “Love”, when you enter into relationships from the awareness that “I am whole and you are whole” you change the dynamic of personal relationships. Personal relationships usually start from “I lack, please fill me”. In an attempt to feel whole you drop the boundaries between you and another. This shows up as you demanding that another meet your needs. If they don’t you feel abandoned or attacked. You also may insist that the other change to meet your needs or change because you are uncomfortable with how they show up. Without boundaries you feel that how they show up reflects on you. Or you may be uncomfortable with how they show up and think that they are responsible for your discomfort.
You also experience the other side of this in personal relationships. Others demand that you fill their needs or that you change to make them happy or comfortable. You can see why personal relationships are so contentious! Everyone is pulling against everyone el…