Showing posts from January, 2015

The Problem with "Love"

“Love” is one of those words that I wish was not used in spirituality. We use the word in two ways when discussing human love and only one of them describes the experience of True Love. This leads to confusion as the two ideas become conflated.
As humans when we say “I love you” we mean “I like you a lot”, “I enjoy you”, “I enjoy being with you”, “I like how I feel about myself when I am with you”, “I enjoy the role that I play in our relationship”, “I am grateful to you for the role that you play in our relationship” and/or “I’m obligated to you through a family connection”. In these contexts “I love you” really means “I am attached to you in some way”.
We feel attachment-love only when we love others not when others love us. When others attachment-love us what we experience is a safe place to be ourselves. Others’ attachment-love for us brings emotional and practical support to our lives in the world. But their experience of attachment-love for us does not leave them and then go in…

Ask: I had an insight and then seemed to totally lose it. What happened?

“Let's say I'm embroiled in some struggle with another person. They 'appear' as some kind of threat and the usual defend/attack scenario plays out - mostly in my head but sometimes spilling out into acting out behavior. Suddenly, a realization comes to me that the perceived threat is all made up (by me) ie. I had been attaching certain meaning to their behavior while in fact this person that I had demonized now appears as weak, clueless, ignorant or just can't help themselves or simply has another point of view. Now that the drama has been drained from the story, and all the meaning neutralized, I then realize that I need simply state my needs to that person, work out some compromise or move on. Peace at last. But then, a couple of hours later, much to my chagrin, the whole thing starts up all over again, sometimes with an even greater intensity than before! What happened?” – ES
            You are simply experiencing the process of accepting a new thought system (H…


Acceptance is one of those ideas that I see students resisting, largely because they confuse “acceptance” with “embracing” or “liking” or “condoning”. So when I say “Accept that growing your awareness of Truth is a process” or “Accept that your boss is unfair” or “Accept that you have a chronic illness” they think I am suggesting that they try to like or approve of these things. But what I mean by “acceptance” is “acknowledge a situation the way it is without resisting it or judging it”. Resisting or judging a situation is the way that you keep it in mind. It is the way that you hold onto it. Acceptance is the way that you let it go.
Resisting and judging close your mind. And a closed mind cannot hear the Holy Spirit (Teacher of Truth) in your mind. So acceptance is the way to open your mind to solutions to problems or to another way of looking at a situation. Judgment and resistance also add to the discomfort or pain of a situation. With acceptance you do not add to the discomfort o…

Ask: What is the best way to deal with idols?

“I now see clearly my attachment to various false idols - the so-called special relationships - those things of the world that appear as sources of peace but which I know intellectually, intuitively, and through endless disappointing experience can never deliver lasting peace. Nevertheless, they feel so real and appealing as I covet and pursue them on a daily basis. As bright as these golden calves seem to be, worshiping them is fraught with fear, and a gnawing sense of lack. Obsessing over them leads me down a distracting, dead end path. How best to deal with these obstacles to peace and ultimately get past them?” – ES
            The mind is always looking for relief from lack. You won’t let go of idols until you have something to replace them even though you recognize that ultimately they do not work.
            Only your awareness of Truth will bring the lasting sense of wholeness that you seek in idols. When you find your mind turning to an idol for relief remind yourself how you’…