Ask: I had an insight and then seemed to totally lose it. What happened?
“Let's say I'm embroiled in some struggle with another person. They 'appear' as some kind of threat and the usual defend/attack scenario plays out - mostly in my head but sometimes spilling out into acting out behavior. Suddenly, a realization comes to me that the perceived threat is all made up (by me) ie. I had been attaching certain meaning to their behavior while in fact this person that I had demonized now appears as weak, clueless, ignorant or just can't help themselves or simply has another point of view. Now that the drama has been drained from the story, and all the meaning neutralized, I then realize that I need simply state my needs to that person, work out some compromise or move on. Peace at last. But then, a couple of hours later, much to my chagrin, the whole thing starts up all over again, sometimes with an even greater intensity than before! What happened?” – ES
You are simply experiencing the process of accepting a new thought system (Holy Spirit/Teacher of Truth). The new thought system brings blessed relief. But you don’t trust it yet. And the old thought system (ego/personal thought system), though painful, is familiar. It seems to give you something that you feel you lose with the new thought system. Going forward you will be in a process of learning that the old thought system does not give you anything of value. And you will learn to trust the new thought system.
These flashes of insight are how accepting the thought system of the Holy Spirit begins. Take comfort in that you have begun the process. You will be back and forth between the two thought systems for a long while, but there is no turning back. You now know there is another way to look at things. And even though you may consciously forget this sometimes your subconscious knows it. The process will now happen of itself.
Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.