Each Holy Relationship is Unique

There is a lot of discussion in A Course in Miracles around the Holy relationship in which it says that you can “trust your brother”. What it really means is that you can trust the Holy Spirit within you to guide you in the relationship.

It must be understood that much of the Course specifically addresses Helen Schucman’s experience, and this is most apparent in its discussion of the Holy relationship. Helen was in a unique position with Bill Thetford in that they had a specific task to do together. They learned about the practice of the Holy relationship as they scribed the Course together. But most students do not have the privilege of having a Holy relationship with another who is also a student of the Course, and who is willing to go through the experience with them.

The experience of the Holy relationship is not like anything in this world. It is an experience of Oneness with another that completely wipes out of your mind any separation between you and another. The “other” ceases to be an “other” for you. This is a very threatening experience for the ego because it is undone by it. This is why the Course talks about needing to hold on through the early phase where you are tempted to run screaming from the relationship. The reward comes in time as you get past the ego’s terror and rage that you are listening to Something Else, and you accept the Peace that the experience brings. There is also the practical expression of the relationship in the world. Clearly, both Helen and Bill were having this experience together. Jesus was reassuring Helen that she could trust Bill. You may experience the Holy relationship without the other being aware of it, or they may be too frightened of it to acknowledge it. Those passages in the Course that deal with trust should be read to mean that you can trust the Holy Spirit to guide you in the relationship.

I have shared often before about my experience with the Holy relationship, and how E, the woman I experienced it with, decided to move on from our relationship. (See the Relationships link at my website’s
Answers by Topic). For many years I read the “trust your brother” to mean that I should hold on and wait for her to come back. But intuitively this never felt right. I chose to read it that way because I wanted a special relationship with her. I insisted that the Holy relationship was only valid if she was physically present in my life, on my terms. In fact I still experienced the Holy relationship when she was thousands of miles away. Eventually I accepted the lesson that the Holy relationship did not come from her, but from the Holy Spirit within me, and that It is always with me. I could have saved myself a lot of years and pain if I had accepted this from the beginning, as well as what I intuitively knew about E – she wasn’t coming back.

When you read the Course you have to read past the specificity of the relationship between Helen and Bill. While the experience of Oneness in each Holy relationship is the same, each Holy relationship is going to be uniquely expressed in the world. Just as with a direct revelation of God you will experience it when you are ready for it. Until then you can prepare yourself for the Holy relationship by extending God’s Love – miracles – to all that you see.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Dear Liz - I'm so grateful for your posts. There's such tremendous resistance in me to accepting the message given in ACIM and the stories you write of often parrallels my own and help me see something differently. I'll read what you write and the resistance is there to hearing what you're saying and I come back and read it again after another zillion years have seemed to go by and something starts sinking in a little.

Thankyou
Anonymous said…
Dear Liz,
Having a similar experience in a relationship, I've learned to turn each and every relationship over to the HS. What happened recently, is that the "special" side of it, or the intimate side of it has left on his part, and so now we are back to "friends" I asked the HS to use the relationship for his purposes, but it still hurts when you care for someone, and you think that they are leaving your life as you know it...... knowing the HS works for the best of everyone is my only sanity....

Popular posts from this blog

Ask: What is meant by "extend Love"?

If the World Isn't Real, Why Ask For Guidance?

More on Emotional Satisfaction or Freedom