Acceptance
Acceptance has turned out to be the most surprisingly useful tool for me as I awaken to God. The first time I used it was when I felt lost and stuck and someone I turned to for advice and guidance told me I had a way to go before I would find relief from my conflict and pain. I had sensed that that was true, but I had been fighting it. To accept it I needed someone else to say what I knew. My conflict and pain did not vanish, but they were greatly mitigated by my accepting that I was where I was at the moment. It made me more determined than ever to continue to put one foot in front of the other to get Where I was going. I realized I wasn’t going to get to God by struggling, but by dealing right now with whatever obstacles I had to my awareness of God’s Presence.
I’ve learned that acceptance is an aspect of forgiveness. When I accepted that ego (in me or others) cannot be fixed then I was able to let it go wherever and however it manifested. When I accepted that the world is inherently unjust and chaotic then I was able to detach from it. I found that struggling to change what cannot change not only makes it real to me but is also my way of holding on to it.
When I accepted that letting go of ego is a process, and that until I completed the process I was going to have to live with the painful consequences of identifying with ego, I found that the process became easier. I found that in letting the process unfold naturally I was accepting that I was letting go of ego. I was forgiving myself my identification with it. Struggling against it by insisting I should be over ego by now was actually continuing the ego’s cycle of guilt and punishment.
Really, my whole path to God has been about acceptance. I invited God into my conscious awareness two-and-a-half decades ago. That decision was the only one I ever needed to make; the Holy Spirit has done the rest. All of my struggle since then has been me accepting that decision. All of my conflict has been because I wanted to go back and choose for ego again. But a decision made with the Holy Spirit cannot be undone. A part of me accepted the Fact that only God is Real, and that I am One with God, and the rest of me has been catching up to this awareness. It would have been a much smoother ride if I had simply accepted the decision I already made and rested in God.
I’ve learned that acceptance is an aspect of forgiveness. When I accepted that ego (in me or others) cannot be fixed then I was able to let it go wherever and however it manifested. When I accepted that the world is inherently unjust and chaotic then I was able to detach from it. I found that struggling to change what cannot change not only makes it real to me but is also my way of holding on to it.
When I accepted that letting go of ego is a process, and that until I completed the process I was going to have to live with the painful consequences of identifying with ego, I found that the process became easier. I found that in letting the process unfold naturally I was accepting that I was letting go of ego. I was forgiving myself my identification with it. Struggling against it by insisting I should be over ego by now was actually continuing the ego’s cycle of guilt and punishment.
Really, my whole path to God has been about acceptance. I invited God into my conscious awareness two-and-a-half decades ago. That decision was the only one I ever needed to make; the Holy Spirit has done the rest. All of my struggle since then has been me accepting that decision. All of my conflict has been because I wanted to go back and choose for ego again. But a decision made with the Holy Spirit cannot be undone. A part of me accepted the Fact that only God is Real, and that I am One with God, and the rest of me has been catching up to this awareness. It would have been a much smoother ride if I had simply accepted the decision I already made and rested in God.
Comments
I have been struggling with a painful back problem for three years. I decided to quit the resistance to what is and turn it over to the Holy Spirit and not identify with it any longer. Although like you say it can be a long process to 'catch up' with the process in terms of our experience here in the illusion. Sometimes I get to feeling like a failure at all of this but am recognizing that too is another attempt by the ego to keep me bound.
Cindy
Just a few days ago around my 38th birthday, I began some inner turmoil with regards to a physical relationship in my life. I was at war with my ego eager to “murder” it because it was just causing my attachment to this world and blocking my connection to God. It wasn't until yesterday that the pains of letting go turned to bouts of laughter. I was actually laughing at my ego for being so stubborn and trying to hang on to such an illusion that’s only purpose was to turn me back to God’s beautiful peace. What Majesty! Thank you so much for your presence in this world.