Forgiving Yourself

As a student of A Course in Miracles you learn that there is only One Mind and that it always sees only Itself so ultimately all you have to forgive is yourself. Even in the world of separation this Law of Mind that mind always extends Itself cannot be undone. But instead of extending itself the ego projects itself away and blames others and the world for what it is experiencing. Projection is really the Mind’s Law of Extension plus denial. When you are first a student you begin by recognizing how your individual mind projects. For example, you are bothered by seeing someone behaving unfairly and when you look into your own mind you see how you are behaving unfairly in the same or another situation. But this recognizing how an individual ego projects is only the beginning of learning how the mind works. It is not forgiveness to say “my ego is just like yours”. Recognizing that all the forms that ego takes are the same is not what is meant by Oneness! Merely taking back your projections does not undo ego because all you are doing is shifting guilt from others to yourself, so ego is still real to you.

Deeper than the projection of the individual ego in your mind is the overall projection that is the world in your split mind (the decision-maker). When you believe in the world as reality it is all your projection. Ultimately, no matter what form it comes in, the cause of your hurt, loss, lack, and sense of betrayal and unfairness comes from your identifying with a personal self. This identifying with what you made instead of What you are in God is your betrayal of yourself, is how you are unfair to yourself, is how you hurt yourself, and why you feel lack and loss. All that the world is, is a stage where you get to be a victim of these experiences over and over again while denying that you are the source of them so that you can pretend you are still innocent. If all is One, what would there be to hurt you? You need to perceive yourself as a separate self among other separate selves to be hurt. If you were not a body what would get sick and die? You need a body to suffer and to die to justify your pain and to not see the real source is your decision to be separate from God.

So forgiving yourself means recognizing, first, that whatever form your pain comes in you have done this to yourself by identifying with a personal self in a body in a world of separation and, second, that it is not real so your guilt is not justified. Only God is Real and you are One with God. You forgive yourself by choosing to overlook your projection – the world – and choosing to look on God’s Love – the Truth - instead. This is the miracle that you perform over and over again, no matter where you are and no matter what is appearing, until God is all that fills your mind again.


Marina said…
I've always known I should forgive myself, but I've always focused on forgiving others not recognizing that they are my projection.

It's amazing how i get glimpses of pain from my past but these days, they just don't last. I will burst in tears when a painful memory comes to mind usually stemming from someones neglect of my ego "needs", but as quickly as i feel the pain, it seems to dissipate as I turn it to God. There is nothing greater than knowing our truth!
Erich said…
Whenever I've engaged someone in this discussion - what I'm told invariably is that "you have to love yourself before you can love someone else". This is a bit curious to me since it speaks of a "me first" type of mind-set. My intuition is that there is no order between "me" and "you". If I understand the Course it is saying you can only be defined within a relationship - that the idea of "you" alone is nothing. Having said that, I do feel guilty - whether it is always just beneath the surface, it is undeniable. Yet I don't feel any sense of self. I don't regard myself in anyway - guilty, innocent, alive or not. When considering myself in something to forgive - I cannot conjure any sort of image. I feel utterly disconnected with a self, Self or other selves. I used to feel emotions towards certain others and I still do to a certain extent towards animals but perhaps because of the Benzo ordeal, I can hardly remember who or what I might have been. It is though I've been erased from the slate. I can scarcely call upon the HS to give me a clue - beyond "I don't know".
ACIM Mentor said…
Erich, you have to be *willing* to accept love yourself before you can love another because your love never leaves you. You feel your love; others don't. They feel their love.

What ACIM is saying is that you are not defined by a self but by the HS. It is your Being. And you become aware of It in you through your relationships with others as they mirror your mind.

As to your not having any sense of self - that may be the Benzo withdrawal or something else to discuss with a therapist.

Popular posts from this blog

The Grand Tour of Fear

You Don't Have to Go It Alone

Understanding the Ego Backlash