Further Lessons in Letting Go of Potential
Since I finished the translation of the Text of A Course in Miracles into plain language I have had the sense of being done with the world. The Holy Spirit says to me, “It’s time to come within now.” I wrote recently about how I see the next phase for me as being where I shift from living with the Holy Spirit to identifying with the Holy Spirit. Last week I wrote about realizing that I can let go of the obligation I have felt to fulfill the personal self’s potential. I now see that all of these things are connected. By letting go of that obligation I change the way that I see myself and my relationship to the world. I am learning how much more I can live present to the Holy Spirit without “potential” pulling me back into the world. Letting go of potential really means letting go of defining myself in terms of the world.
That obligation to grow a personal self apparently pervaded my thought system. It takes many forms and I keep bumping into it so that I can remove it. The other day I was thinking that it would be nice to not be afraid to say “no” when I am offered an opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. I feel guilty if I don’t take an opportunity to “grow” in a new direction. Then it dawned on me that I can say no without guilt and fear because “stretching my comfort zone” is just another way of saying “personal growth”. I also realized that I had projected the source of my sense of obligation onto the Holy Spirit. But even deeper than that projection was my real fear: That if I don’t keep moving forward and pushing through and growing the personal self, I am as good as dead. This, of course, is a lie the personal self must tell me to preserve itself. Letting go of the personal self is liberation from limitations, which is Life.
Looking back I can see that the Holy Spirit has developed in me what needed to be developed so that I could best learn from It. But this was not personal growth. Whatever I’ve had to learn within myself or in the world to reach this stage has come without the personal self because the Holy Spirit did it. The only effort I experienced was my own resistance. When I think back to the period of relinquishment, which was when I was training to be a life-coach, I remember how many times I tried to go in a certain direction and the Holy Spirit would pull me back, saying, “Not that way; this way.” The Holy Spirit’s way was always effortless and fit easily into my life. I think I was a little disappointed because a part of me wanted to be challenged so I could grow “Liz”. But my resistance and disappointment always gave way to the infinitely more valuable Peace that I experienced following the Holy Spirit. And so it is now, as I root out all these little ways of holding on to a personal self that are buried in my mind.
>>>>
Read The Message of A Course in Miracles: A translation of the Text in plain language at www.themessageofacim.com.
That obligation to grow a personal self apparently pervaded my thought system. It takes many forms and I keep bumping into it so that I can remove it. The other day I was thinking that it would be nice to not be afraid to say “no” when I am offered an opportunity to stretch my comfort zone. I feel guilty if I don’t take an opportunity to “grow” in a new direction. Then it dawned on me that I can say no without guilt and fear because “stretching my comfort zone” is just another way of saying “personal growth”. I also realized that I had projected the source of my sense of obligation onto the Holy Spirit. But even deeper than that projection was my real fear: That if I don’t keep moving forward and pushing through and growing the personal self, I am as good as dead. This, of course, is a lie the personal self must tell me to preserve itself. Letting go of the personal self is liberation from limitations, which is Life.
Looking back I can see that the Holy Spirit has developed in me what needed to be developed so that I could best learn from It. But this was not personal growth. Whatever I’ve had to learn within myself or in the world to reach this stage has come without the personal self because the Holy Spirit did it. The only effort I experienced was my own resistance. When I think back to the period of relinquishment, which was when I was training to be a life-coach, I remember how many times I tried to go in a certain direction and the Holy Spirit would pull me back, saying, “Not that way; this way.” The Holy Spirit’s way was always effortless and fit easily into my life. I think I was a little disappointed because a part of me wanted to be challenged so I could grow “Liz”. But my resistance and disappointment always gave way to the infinitely more valuable Peace that I experienced following the Holy Spirit. And so it is now, as I root out all these little ways of holding on to a personal self that are buried in my mind.
>>>>
Read The Message of A Course in Miracles: A translation of the Text in plain language at www.themessageofacim.com.
Comments
It sounds like your drive for "self-improvement" and "personal growth" has been disarmed a bit.
I have met this same experience.
It seems to me that what is really disappearing is first, the belief that there is a self to improve, and then, the self.
No Liz. No JJ.
Can you feel it?
JJ
"Then it dawned on me that I can say no without guilt and fear because “stretching my comfort zone” is just another way of saying “personal growth”" and "The only effort I experienced was my own resistance."