The Guilt
Last week I mentioned that I have entered a phase where I am finally dealing with The Guilt of the split mind. I’ve been asked to share how this shows up, but first let me explain what The Guilt is. The one mind that is the part of God’s Mind in which the idea of God’s opposite seems to exist, and that is the source of all personal minds, believes that it has attacked God and stolen part of God for itself. Every personal mind, being a micro-version of this split mind, takes on this belief for itself. This belief is the source of The Guilt, which leads to fear of God, and an expectation that God will punish you. When you identify with a personal self, attack-guilt-fear is the very core of your identity, and is the source of the hellish world that you project. After you have detached enough from the personal self and have begun to identify with the Holy Spirit, you reach a point where the only obstacles to God left are the guilt/fear-of-God beliefs that you have taken from the personal mind as your own.
For me, this process began maybe 5 years ago with sleeping dreams that I would have once or twice a week. In these dreams, either I had murdered someone, or I was helping someone else cover up a murder that they had committed. In either case, the dreams were accompanied with tremendous feelings of guilt. I realized at the time that this was the The Guilt and that these dreams represented my deep-seated belief that I have tried to kill God. The dreams eventually were replaced by my waking up in the middle of the night convinced that I had not been giving one of my dogs vital medicine he needed to survive. Again, guilt. In these cases, I’d have to wake up fully, take account of my dogs and their various ailments (they were getting older), and realize that none of them had a life-threatening illness that required consistent medication.
The dreams of murder eventually stopped; occasionally, variations on the idea that I have not done something essential for someone else’s survival crop up. Even though I’ve known all along what these were about, I wasn’t yet at a place where I could deal with them at their roots. Then, very recently, came the rage. I’d wake up every morning in a rage and I’d have to meditate and detach from it somewhat before I could get on with my day. Even after doing this, I’d still find myself having fits of rage over small things throughout the day. I didn’t understand this rage until I started to work on The Guilt and the rage all but disappeared. Then I got that it was all part of the same package: The source of anger is fear, and the source of fear is guilt. I still occasionally have minor bouts of rage, but I quickly trace them back to the guilt and undo them.
How do I do this? The Guilt comes from my perception that I am separate from God, so I only need to look at the evidence that this perception is erroneous. The Holy Spirit has been guiding me for 25 years, for the past few years I have felt the Holy Spirit’s Constant Presence with me, and I have had several direct revelations of God. So I’ve had enough experience of God now to know that God is All that is Real, but I still must acknowledge this consciously to counteract the The Guilt that I’ve taken on from the personal mind. I do affirmations that remind me that God is the One Being of Which I am a Part, not an authoritative separate thing; I open my mind to God daily; I stop and acknowledge God throughout the day; I spend my days maintaining my presence to the Holy Spirit’s Presence; I forgive again and again and again appearances of separation from God. The personal mind is vigilant only for its own survival, so I am vigilant only for God and my Oneness with God. I will forgive over and over again until I’ve completely undone The Guilt that I’ve made and accepted, and then I will rest in Peace for Eternity.
>>>>
Read The Message of A Course in Miracles: A translation of the Text in plain language at www.themessageofacim.com.
For me, this process began maybe 5 years ago with sleeping dreams that I would have once or twice a week. In these dreams, either I had murdered someone, or I was helping someone else cover up a murder that they had committed. In either case, the dreams were accompanied with tremendous feelings of guilt. I realized at the time that this was the The Guilt and that these dreams represented my deep-seated belief that I have tried to kill God. The dreams eventually were replaced by my waking up in the middle of the night convinced that I had not been giving one of my dogs vital medicine he needed to survive. Again, guilt. In these cases, I’d have to wake up fully, take account of my dogs and their various ailments (they were getting older), and realize that none of them had a life-threatening illness that required consistent medication.
The dreams of murder eventually stopped; occasionally, variations on the idea that I have not done something essential for someone else’s survival crop up. Even though I’ve known all along what these were about, I wasn’t yet at a place where I could deal with them at their roots. Then, very recently, came the rage. I’d wake up every morning in a rage and I’d have to meditate and detach from it somewhat before I could get on with my day. Even after doing this, I’d still find myself having fits of rage over small things throughout the day. I didn’t understand this rage until I started to work on The Guilt and the rage all but disappeared. Then I got that it was all part of the same package: The source of anger is fear, and the source of fear is guilt. I still occasionally have minor bouts of rage, but I quickly trace them back to the guilt and undo them.
How do I do this? The Guilt comes from my perception that I am separate from God, so I only need to look at the evidence that this perception is erroneous. The Holy Spirit has been guiding me for 25 years, for the past few years I have felt the Holy Spirit’s Constant Presence with me, and I have had several direct revelations of God. So I’ve had enough experience of God now to know that God is All that is Real, but I still must acknowledge this consciously to counteract the The Guilt that I’ve taken on from the personal mind. I do affirmations that remind me that God is the One Being of Which I am a Part, not an authoritative separate thing; I open my mind to God daily; I stop and acknowledge God throughout the day; I spend my days maintaining my presence to the Holy Spirit’s Presence; I forgive again and again and again appearances of separation from God. The personal mind is vigilant only for its own survival, so I am vigilant only for God and my Oneness with God. I will forgive over and over again until I’ve completely undone The Guilt that I’ve made and accepted, and then I will rest in Peace for Eternity.
>>>>
Read The Message of A Course in Miracles: A translation of the Text in plain language at www.themessageofacim.com.
Comments
Thank you for sharing this. Is having bad dreams part of the process of working with the Course?
I ask this because since a few months I have started to work with the Course intensively and have experienced more bad dreams during the night then usual.
Thank you for these recent posts; they are really beautiful.
Is the fear that I see in the world and on TV my own?
I can forgive it in myself and in others, but if I still see it in the newspapers, does that mean it is still in me?
Have you given your revelations of god to words? If so, can you direct me to those posts? I would very much love to read them.
I recently had the experience of my egoic identity disappearing and I became a void, absent of any "presence" in this world except for awareness. As the void, I was apparently a portal into energetic realignment for others. They "fell" into their own mindless harmony of being. There was a palpable disturbance in the space/time continuum. The walls vibrated differently and the light shimmered.
Is this a revelation of god? It seemed that it was the most true experience I'd ever had, but I wasn't aware of anything I could label "god".
what do you think?
with love,
You can go to my website (www.acimmentor.com) and click on the link "Answers by Topic". Under "Revelations" I share one that I had in November of '07.
God is an experience of Boundless Love, Peace, and Joy. It's indescribable because it is at the level of Knowledge. I always learn something "on the way back", and that occurs at the level of perception. It sounds like you experienced something on the level of perception, Jack, so it would fall under the Course's definition of "miracle".
Not sure if I get what you are saying. I am not fearful, but I see in the news that people are acting in fear. I do not share their fear. I have compassion for them and forgive them their fear. In the presence of a fearful person, my compassion will dissolve their fear, but still images pop up in the media from places far away.
Are you saying that seeing their fear in the news means it is mine?
If there was no fear in me, all fear on the planet would disappear?
the TVs would show images of love and bliss?
love,
It's clear you have an excellent understanding of the Course. I too have been studying since the 80's. Your choice of words such as split mind and decision maker indicate that you have studied Ken Wapnick's teachings of the Course. I think he understands the material like no other.Just didn't see any mention of this in your about me page, and would find that aspect of your studying intersting. I do see you directed others to FACIM.Nice to see someone who really gets this stuff sharing with others.