What Happens When I'm Gone?

A few years ago, my wife, Courtney, was going through a bad spell. She was speculating about what would happen to her if I awakened. I thought about how to answer this for a moment, then I suddenly understood what would happen, and I told her that I would take her with me. I was really answering the question for myself, and, interestingly, she didn’t ask me what I meant. This was a relief, because what I have come to understand about God and the world from my experiences in the Holy Instant is so far from what she believes that I knew I would have a hard time explaining it to her!

What I meant was that Courtney is an idea in my mind, so of course she will go with me when I put aside the world. I don’t mean that literally ‘Courtney’ – the body/personal self – will go with me, but that the mind behind the idea of ‘Courtney’ will go with me, because it’s my mind. There is only one mind, and ‘Courtney’ and ‘Liz’ are just figures in its dream. This started to undo the ‘two realities’ idea that was always lurking in my mind. I can put the world aside, but I cannot ‘leave the world’, because there is no world. The world is in me; I am not in it.

For a long time I had a sense of loss when I thought of awakening to God, because I thought of the world as a real place that I would leave behind. I was really thinking in terms of exchanging realities, rather than of letting go of an illusion and accepting Reality. It made me sad to think of what I would miss in the world when I was ‘gone’, as though it would continue on without me. I thought of my loved ones and what I would miss happening in their lives. I thought of the inventions to come, the discoveries and the history to be made, etc, as though all of this was a reality, not just a temporary story in my mind right now that is only meant to distract me from the fact that God is right here, right now. There is only One Reality, and that is God.

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Read The Message of A Course in Miracles: A translation of the Text in plain language at www.themessageofacim.com.

Comments

Christine said…
Once again, Liz, I am reading "my own thoughts". Reading your installments is like listening to a Mozart concert, nothing can be added...but so much can be taken away by reading them.
This one reminds us that all whom we have ever loved (including our dear dogs and other pets) have always been ideas in our mind (not brain)and we, and them, have never left our Source.
Jo Chandler said…
Dear Liz,
I am constantly amazed at how profoundly you express your ideas in such few words. I think Christine said it perfectly--"nothing can be added but so much can be taken away by reading them."

Most important in this message for me is the idea that Crista (my daughter) is an idea in my mind, and as such, she can never be separate from me, even though she "died" two years ago.

Also, thank you for mentioning your experience of thinking that when you accepted God, you would be exchanging realities, leaving behind one for the other. Truth be told, I am experiencing some of that aprehension at this point in my journey home. Your blog has helped me see the unreality of the fear.

Jo
sweet heart said…
Where do you think you are after you put aside the world?

What do you think happens to the world after you put it away?

Do all worlds disappear or do you just create a new one to go to?

If you created the world, why did you create one with 6 billion people instead of, oh, 1 billion?

Why would you have created such a complex world and how did you possibly imagine 6 billion different people?

When you go are you going to take all 6 billion of us with you also?

What if I want to stay a little longer?

Can you possibly know if you aren't just creating a logical box that hypnotizes you into feeling that you can relax because you have "the answer"?
jacomina said…
I guess every comment here are our very own thoughts as well. is that correct? How relieved I am to know I can continue in my studies full force without abandoning my kids. This has held me back for some time. I thought if they are here I will stop where I am now as I couldnt face the fear of losing them. Thank you for your explanation regarding our loved ones (and the 6 billion others and the world and the universe)
jandvig said…
these would by my answers to your questions, sweet heart. Liz, can you help me out here?

Where do you think you are after you put aside the world? The same place you were and always are, but now you're aware of your Realness.

What do you think happens to the world after you put it away? It appears transparent now in your Mind (which only knows Truth and is in Reality now)

Do all worlds disappear or do you just create a new one to go to? I think your question might correlate with the parallel universe theory, which I don't fully understand. But I think the same answer as above.

If you created the world, why did you create one with 6 billion people instead of, oh, 1 billion? The more we (the egoic mind) creates (idols), the more differentiation exists.

Why would you have created such a complex world and how did you possibly imagine 6 billion different people? The ego is insane, incomprehensible. We never really "see" the 6 million people, do we?

When you go are you going to take all 6 billion of us with you also?
I will "see" all of you for the dream figures that you are, only living in my illusions.

What if I want to stay a little longer? You will stay as long as you choose to stay in your own mind.

Can you possibly know if you aren't just creating a logical box that hypnotizes you into feeling that you can relax because you have "the answer"? You can never "know" the unknowable. The Truth is beyond the "knowing mind".

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