Ask: Forgiveness Can Take Different Forms
In your October 29th newsletter, there was a question about forgiving and how the person had trouble forgiving an “abusive” person. In your answer, you suggested that “forgiveness” can take different forms, and that choosing not to speak to someone might be “a miracle, not a failure”.
This perspective helped me a lot, after I felt into it for a while. I agree that this might be a way of letting go, and free myself and the other person from grievances and other attachments.
However, there is one thing that is still puzzling me. It seems to me that there are people where choosing not to speak/interact is not an option. Close family members, for instance. What about my 4-year-old-son? What about my mother? It seems to me I can’t just choose to not to speak to them, or stop taking care of my son, although I must admit that I sometimes feel like it. On the other hand it seems that not having all options would contradict the idea of forgiveness and miracles.
What are your thoughts on this? Requested Anonymity.
This is a very good question, and I wanted to address it in the article you mentioned, but it was already so long!
When you choose to forgive, you are asking for a miracle. A miracle is a shift in your mind toward an awareness of God (love, peace, joy); how this shows up is an effect of your change of mind, but is not the miracle itself. So, the miracle (your awareness of God) is the same every time you choose one, but how this manifests in the world of form is always perfectly suited to that specific form. The result in the world can be a change in the attitudes and/or behavior of the personal self with which you identify, a change in another’s attitudes and/or behaviors, a change in the situation, what you need showing up at the perfect time, etc.
The point of that part of the article was not that you always need to walk away from someone who is disruptive, but that you should not pre-judge how your choice for God will show up in the world. In that case, the woman chose to forgive, and what she was inspired to do was to cut off contact with someone with whom she did not have to be around. This may or may not be how another would be inspired in a similar situation, or even the same person would be inspired in another situation like that one. The form that a miracle takes in a mind that perceives itself in a world depends on what is needed at that time in that particular situation. For many, learning to set healthy boundaries with others is how miracles will show up for them for a while. For others who don’t need that lesson, the miracle will show up in another form.
And in a situation where you have to be around someone disruptive – at work, for example – or with someone with whom you do not want to cut off all contact – in your family, for example – the miracle will show up, again, in whatever form you need at that time in that situation.
You do not have to decide or choose how a miracle will show up; in fact, you don’t want to. This will just close your mind to seeing the manifestation of the miracle. Your choice for a miracle will result automatically in it manifesting in your perception of a world, just as your choice for the personal self (ego) manifests automatically in your perception of a world! When you choose to forgive, you can trust that a miracle has come, and you “need do nothing” but simply sit back and watch it unfold perfectly in your mind and/or in the world that it perceives.
>>>>
Learn about The Plain Language A Course in Miracles at www.placim.com.
If you have a question that you want answered in the ACIM Mentor Blog and Newsletter, contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered here.
This perspective helped me a lot, after I felt into it for a while. I agree that this might be a way of letting go, and free myself and the other person from grievances and other attachments.
However, there is one thing that is still puzzling me. It seems to me that there are people where choosing not to speak/interact is not an option. Close family members, for instance. What about my 4-year-old-son? What about my mother? It seems to me I can’t just choose to not to speak to them, or stop taking care of my son, although I must admit that I sometimes feel like it. On the other hand it seems that not having all options would contradict the idea of forgiveness and miracles.
What are your thoughts on this? Requested Anonymity.
This is a very good question, and I wanted to address it in the article you mentioned, but it was already so long!
When you choose to forgive, you are asking for a miracle. A miracle is a shift in your mind toward an awareness of God (love, peace, joy); how this shows up is an effect of your change of mind, but is not the miracle itself. So, the miracle (your awareness of God) is the same every time you choose one, but how this manifests in the world of form is always perfectly suited to that specific form. The result in the world can be a change in the attitudes and/or behavior of the personal self with which you identify, a change in another’s attitudes and/or behaviors, a change in the situation, what you need showing up at the perfect time, etc.
The point of that part of the article was not that you always need to walk away from someone who is disruptive, but that you should not pre-judge how your choice for God will show up in the world. In that case, the woman chose to forgive, and what she was inspired to do was to cut off contact with someone with whom she did not have to be around. This may or may not be how another would be inspired in a similar situation, or even the same person would be inspired in another situation like that one. The form that a miracle takes in a mind that perceives itself in a world depends on what is needed at that time in that particular situation. For many, learning to set healthy boundaries with others is how miracles will show up for them for a while. For others who don’t need that lesson, the miracle will show up in another form.
And in a situation where you have to be around someone disruptive – at work, for example – or with someone with whom you do not want to cut off all contact – in your family, for example – the miracle will show up, again, in whatever form you need at that time in that situation.
You do not have to decide or choose how a miracle will show up; in fact, you don’t want to. This will just close your mind to seeing the manifestation of the miracle. Your choice for a miracle will result automatically in it manifesting in your perception of a world, just as your choice for the personal self (ego) manifests automatically in your perception of a world! When you choose to forgive, you can trust that a miracle has come, and you “need do nothing” but simply sit back and watch it unfold perfectly in your mind and/or in the world that it perceives.
>>>>
Learn about The Plain Language A Course in Miracles at www.placim.com.
If you have a question that you want answered in the ACIM Mentor Blog and Newsletter, contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered here.
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