Ask: Is the ache I feel for others a judgment?
“Is the ‘ache’ I feel for others a
judgment? …What I am experiencing is an
overwhelming sadness/ache for others and I sense this is in fact the flip-side
of the ego coin and is a form of judgment
in its own right. The arrogance of ‘feeling sorry for people’ perhaps,
although it doesn’t feel like pity…I feel overwhelmed at times by this ‘ache’
for others, for the state of the world and so on. I wonder if it is like
any other projection that needs to be recognised for what it is, forgiven and
released to the Holy Spirit? That said, the ego tells me that if I felt
neutral and peaceful over the plight of others I would be cold and heartless.
I understand that the pain and suffering of the world is not the Truth, but
as a seeming person living ‘in it’ I can’t quite grasp that, although I get the
metaphysics of it…”
- AM
You are projecting meaning (judgment
– wrong/bad) onto what you see happening in others’ lives and responding to
your projections of meaning as though they are real. You ache for others
because you identify with them. In other words, you are looking out at others
from the ego (personal thought system) rather than from an awareness of Truth
(Holy Spirit). So you are using these situations to reinforce your belief in the
ego in your mind. And, yes, as A Course
in Miracles teaches, this is a judgment against yourself because the ego is
not you.
“To empathize does not mean to join in
suffering, for that is what you must refuse to understand. That is the
ego's interpretation of empathy, and is always used to form a special
relationship in which the suffering is shared. The capacity to empathize is
very useful to the Holy Spirit, provided you let Him use it in His way. His way
is very different. He does not understand suffering, and would have you teach
it is not understandable. When He relates through you, He does not relate through
your ego to another ego. He does not join in pain, understanding that healing
pain is not accomplished by delusional attempts to enter into it, and lighten
it by sharing the delusion.”(T-16.I.1)
As long as you see yourself as a “seeming person living ‘in it’ (the
world)” you will not grasp how you can look on the world and see that suffering
is not real. You must make the choice to let go of your identification with a
self in a body in a world and to learn What is real. In a situation where you
are confronted with a story of suffering you can turn away from the story, and
therefore the ego in you, and remember that only God (your True Being) in you and
in the other is real. This is true empathy. And this is how you can use these
situations to remember the Truth instead of to reinforce your belief in the
ego.
Of course to the ego your turning
away from the ego and its projections appears cold and heartless. And as long
as the ego and its projections of meaning seem real to you, you will agree with
the ego on this. But as you grow your awareness of Truth you will find yourself
overlooking what appears in the world. You will feel compassion for others in
that they suffer, but you will know that what they suffer over is not real. In
time you will also learn that their suffering is not real, either. But you
cannot know this from the ego. You can only know this from an awareness that
only the Truth is true.
In anticipation of the emails I
will get let me say this about responding to others who seem to be suffering:
No, you do not want to say to others that what they suffer over is not real.
You do not want to tell them that their own suffering is not real. If you wish
to do that you are coming from a competing ego not the Holy Spirit (your
awareness of Truth). You just need to know for them that suffering is not real
while they still think it is. You will find yourself saying things like, “I can
see this really hurts you” or “I’m sorry you are hurting” and leaving it at that.
For many, all they want is to be heard and understood. That’s all the love that
they can accept in their belief that suffering is real. To love others in the
world you meet them where they think they are, not where you want them or even know
them to be.
>>>>>
Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.
If you have a question the answer to which you think will help others send it to Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered in the ACIM Mentor Newsletter/Blog.
Comments
“Probably more fun is poked at metaphysics and mysticism because of their use of the words “real,” “unreal,” “reality,” and “unreality,” than for any other reason. Metaphysicians are often ridiculed because some of them use such expressions as, “It is unreal,” or “It is untrue.” Two cars collide head-on and scatter themselves and those in them all over the scenery and the metaphysician comes along and says, “Oh, it’s unreal; it isn’t true. It never happened.” Can you blame the world for ridiculing such statements? The world does not understand the metaphysical meaning of the words “untrue” or “unreal,” and the sad part is that very often the metaphysician using these same words does not understand the meaning of them either.
The words “real” or “reality” pertain only to that which is spiritual, eternal, immortal and infinite. Only that which is of God is understood to be “real” or is recognized as “reality.” With this definition of reality in mind it should be easy to grasp the statement that we cannot see, hear, taste, touch or smell reality.
When we speak of sin and disease as unreal we do not mean that they are nonexistent. If a person has had ingrained in him from infancy that the material is the real, then to him the disease exists. When sin, disease and death are called unreal it is not a denial of the so-called existence of these things: It is a denial of their existence as a part of God or reality.
In the realm of the real, the kingdom of God, the discords of sense have no existence. That, however does not change the fact that we suffer from them. The unreality of it does not lessen our pain or remove our lack or limitation because to our sense of things, we are suffering from them.”
The Art of Spiritual Healing
Joel Goldsmith, 1959
I like your last statement, Liz: "To love others in the world you meet them where they think they are, not where you want them or even know them to be." Very true!
Love to all,
Layla M