Trust Your Own Path
If I had my way (oh, there’s so much I could say after this!) no one would be able to read spiritual material or to listen to spiritual teachers that are more advanced than they are. It seems to cause so many problems. And of course the problems are not in the material but in the readers and listeners.
I’ll say again what I’ve said often lately: this path has not unfolded in the way that I thought it would. I have gone along for a ride that has taken some surprising turns. Of course the way I thought it would unfold was shaped by what I read into others’ experiences. It was not necessarily what the writers intended.
Sometimes I misunderstood what others shared because I was not yet at their level of awareness. Sometimes I didn’t have their experience and felt I must be failing or missing something. And sometimes others simply used different words to describe an experience we shared. Often I reached a point where I’d say, “Screw what I’ve read! What has my experience taught me?” For me, experience always trumps concepts. So eventually I did accept that I know nothing. I just have to sit back and let this journey to peace unfold as it will without judging it.
I missed miracles because of my guilt and expectations. In guilt I felt I was always falling short. In guilt I couldn’t see that I was in a process because I was so certain I was somehow wrong or off. I focused on what I lacked, not the peace, the insights, the everyday and higher miracles, the Revelations that I had experienced. I wasn’t sufficiently grateful for those because they weren’t “enough”. Unconsciously I was afraid that they were all I would experience because I was afraid that they were all I deserved. So even when I came to accept that I was in a process I would still have horrible bouts of resisting this awareness. I wanted peace now, damn it, because unconsciously I was afraid it would never arrive.
Expectations meant I often looked in the wrong place for results. The biggest example of this was my expectation that the ego (personal thought system) would change. Of course it didn’t so I felt a failure. But then peace came to stay and the ego was still in my awareness. That’s when I realized I had been looking in the wrong place for peace. Peace came to me, not to the ego. Of course! The ego isn’t me. Isn’t this what I was learning? Now it seems obvious.
There were so many big and little expectations, some of them not consciously held by me, that have been undone or have fallen away. So I say to you: Read or listen to others’ experiences with interest but not with expectations for yourself. Keep your mind open and let your path unfold. Some experiences you will understand right away. Some you too will experience in time. Some you will never experience. Trust the unfolding of your own unique path from within you. Be with the Holy Spirit (the awareness of Truth in your mind) where you are right now. You are now where you have to be to get where you are going.
Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.