Trust Your Own Path
If I had my way (oh, there’s so much I could say after
this!) no one would be able to read spiritual material or to listen to
spiritual teachers that are more advanced than they are. It seems to cause so many
problems. And of course the problems are not in the material but in the readers
and listeners.
I’ll say again what I’ve said often lately: this path has
not unfolded in the way that I thought it would. I have gone along for a ride
that has taken some surprising turns. Of course the way I thought it would
unfold was shaped by what I read into others’ experiences. It was not
necessarily what the writers intended.
Sometimes I misunderstood what others shared because I was
not yet at their level of awareness. Sometimes I didn’t have their experience
and felt I must be failing or missing something. And sometimes others simply
used different words to describe an experience we shared. Often I reached a
point where I’d say, “Screw what I’ve read! What has my experience taught me?” For me, experience always trumps concepts.
So eventually I did accept that I know nothing. I just have to sit back and let
this journey to peace unfold as it will without judging it.
I missed miracles because of my guilt and expectations. In
guilt I felt I was always falling short. In guilt I couldn’t see that I was in
a process because I was so certain I was somehow wrong or off. I focused on what I lacked, not the peace,
the insights, the everyday and higher miracles, the Revelations that I had
experienced. I wasn’t sufficiently grateful for those because they weren’t
“enough”. Unconsciously I was afraid that they were all I would experience
because I was afraid that they were all I deserved. So even when I came to
accept that I was in a process I would still have horrible bouts of resisting
this awareness. I wanted peace now, damn
it, because unconsciously I was afraid it would never arrive.
Expectations meant I often looked in the wrong place for
results. The biggest example of this was my expectation that the ego (personal
thought system) would change. Of course it didn’t so I felt a failure. But then
peace came to stay and the ego was still in my awareness. That’s when I
realized I had been looking in the wrong place for peace. Peace came to me, not
to the ego. Of course! The ego isn’t me. Isn’t this what I was learning? Now it
seems obvious.
There were so many big and little expectations, some of them
not consciously held by me, that have been undone or have fallen away. So I say
to you: Read or listen to others’ experiences with interest but not with
expectations for yourself. Keep your mind open and let your path unfold. Some
experiences you will understand right away. Some you too will experience in
time. Some you will never experience. Trust the unfolding of your own unique
path from within you. Be with the Holy Spirit (the awareness of Truth in your
mind) where you are right now. You are now where you have to be to get where
you are going.
>>>>>
Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.
Comments
p. 166 :"No spiritual teacher avoids answering questions that will clarify the meaning of the message, but once the student has attained the actual contact with his Source, questions seldom arise. As God unfolds in his experience, he is left without questions, without any doubt about what to do or why. ...His one concern would be to follow the light that is within him"...."Spiritual development comes about through the experience of God, not in questions or answers..."Sooner or later, the way opens so that the student will receive his own impartations from within. The same light that has come to every mystic can then reveal itself to him. Truth in its essence is the same, but it comes in different language and in different degrees to each and every person." He goes on and on - very clearly. This is "trusting your own path", when you've reached this point, I guess it's not for beginners!
this particular angst you speak of is such a part of the contrast and inner conflict from which ive learnt i need to start trusting my own path (very recent learning.
without it the path so far may have (would have!) been a lot .. gentler, but probably a lot slower as well. LAUGH!! but this is my own experience ;) ;) ;)
quicker learning due to contrast.
Over the past 5 days and two years into my study of the Course, I discovered I was meditating and it unfolded naturally with the awareness, I am the quiet center. No counting, no strain, no thought, peace.
Just one example of how this path is unfolding in ways I had thought.
Thank you Liz.
I continue to feel guilt with every attack thought and I continue to believe I must change what isn't real and whip the ego thought system into shape. The good news is that I also continue to ask for help to see it all differently.
I need to let go and trust the process and not set a timetable or conjure up steps or try to manipulate my thoughts.
Thank you so much. Your experiences and sharing them have helped me so very much in this amazing ongoing process of remembering Truth.
i felt a bit silly with my question re tongue in cheek, (what WILL liz and co. think of my presumptuous comment!) but not taking myself seriously and worrying about the impression others have of me is most definitely a part of this Self discovery. this very important serious quest! if i want to ask or say something and i get butterflies, that usually seems to be an indicator of facing some illusion, of potential for letting go of something unhelpful.
"when in doubt ask", seems to work wonders in both clarity of understanding AND self image , um, lessening-of-value-of, bonus!! ;)
you probably know this but taking a risk and saying whatever your thinking (on the blog) has big spiritual payoffs. It has for me anyway.
maybe this boundary pushing is trying to force the ego to change to achieve peace? not sure, but so far it feels best to try not to make my choices from the fear of what impression i'll make, see whats on the other side of the butterflies! i do apologise if im ever disrespectful though!
I am seeing recently how prevalent "the fear of how I'm perceived" is. It has had a tremendous impact on my life. In my twenties the only time I could get out of the house was when I was drinking. Counseling or medication had little impact. I've been using Liz's 'Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace' as a guide to get into the subconscious and root this stuff out.
i had an experience a few weeks back that has changed the courage level of my approach to life, as i know that, beyond what im presently experiencing as this selfs reality is a reality that truly unites all being, is 100% loving, beautiful, kind and and unalterable, and embraces every single seeming upset/horror with absolutely no effort at all.
since then i started doing the workbook lessons again, and spending more quiet time with truth, and what im practising has a completely different resonance than last time, in my awareness at any rate. i am much more willing to embrace the fact that this selfs will has no meaning, its non-reality engenders much less fear/sorrow, as the united Will experience showed me that whatever truly Is, IS something i WANT to want more than individual existence. the need to pay attention to it (self) and talk about it is lessening (still strong.. here i am ;) )as trust in Self grows.
I have been reading The Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes a history of Australia. It's a good one.