Your Itch to Share is Your Own Desire to Learn
When I began as a student of A Course in Miracles over 3 decades ago I was itching to share what
I learned with everyone. I didn’t, though, because I knew how much I hated it
when others proselytized. Even if I didn’t mean to convert anyone I knew that’s
how my sharing would be perceived. I also knew that if I shared what ACIM
really teaches others would think I was nuts. I knew how radical it was and I
only trusted it myself because I’d experienced Revelation and miracles early
on. In fact once in my excitement I took a chance and shared with some
acquaintances something I heard from the Holy Spirit and one of them, a nurse,
asked, “Was this Voice inside your mind or outside of you?” I reassured her that
I was not psychotic; the Voice was in my mind. The experienced reinforced for
me how it was best to keep my new experiences private. I only discussed some of
them with other ACIM students.
I also suspected, correctly, that my itch to share was not
from the Holy Spirit. The feeling was too strong. The Holy Spirit is a quiet
knowing, not a strong or passionate feeling. So I didn’t trust the itch and I didn’t
want to be led by it. I wrote in my journal when there was no one with whom to
share a lesson. If I was ever going to teach ACIM, and I didn’t know that I
was, I wanted to be led into it by the Holy Spirit. And when it came time to
teach, that is how it happened. It wasn’t an itch that moved me, but a quiet
knowing that this was what I was to do next. And ever since then, when I do
share in my writing what I am learning or what I have learned, I am not led by
an itch. Instead it just flows out of me.
So what was this itch if it wasn’t the Holy Spirit? In time
I realized that my own itch to share with others was my own itch to deepen or
clarify the particular lesson I wanted to share. The itch still came at times,
but the lesson never flowed out of me then. I wasn’t ready to share it because
the lesson wasn’t solid in me yet. I needed to deepen and clarify the lesson in
myself before I could share it with others. I’ve come to see that my writing
occurs when I am consolidating a lesson, not when it is new to me. In fact, my
writing about something means I’m ready to move past it, on to a deeper level
with the same lesson, or on to other lessons.
The vast majority of students of ACIM do not eventually
teach others. But of course the itch to share is not limited to those who do
end up teaching. The itch is just a sign that you want a lesson to go deeper in yourself. If the itch won’t pass it
can help to write about it in a journal. And if you journalize with the Holy
Spirit it can be a practice that helps the lesson deepen in you.
Comments
30 years ago, if you were in recovery from addiction and were serious about it you could get a job helping other addicted people. If you wanted the jobs with benefits you needed a Bachelors degree ‘in something.’ This gave a kind of prestige among your peers. But so many people got into the addictions field that were sicker than the people they were supposedly helping. Maybe it’s my cynicism but I see this going on with ACIM. There is such a strong pull to believe that “being in the field” means you have attained a certain level spiritually. Human nature I guess.
Oxford English Dictionary
"Look at me, i'm brilliant! I've figured it all out, and here's how you can too!"
And, of course, after a week i'd just end up in the same rut, learning the same crap as always.
I now know it was just ego. Like you said, when you've learned a lesson, you feel like it flows out of you. There's no excitement or desire to be noticed when you do share what you've learned, it's all very neutral and graceful. This is a great lesson. Thanks Liz.
I took this "teach only love" concept, and went out and tried to "teach" by pointing out the ill ways of another, to them.
My motivation in sharing ACIM was just me projecting. I didn't need to learn the lesson...."they" needed to learn it. Ultimately it came down to I needed them to change, so I wouldn't have to. My actions created immense suffering within me.
It wasn't until I got to Chapter 9 and read "Any attempt you make to correct a brother means that you believe correction by you is possible, and this can only be the arrogance of the ego. Correction is of God, Who does not know of arrogance." Then I shut up.
Liz, can you clarify how this "teach only love" concept relates to learning and sharing?
Once there was a brother who symbolized fear and through forgiveness has now arrived as Love.
And nicci, what a prayer!
Growing awareness of Truth is transforming relationships. The release of guilt freed the relationship from the chains of the past, dismantled the wall, freeing this mind from fear that now looks with loving eyes on a brother that carries Christ within him. My new favorite section of the text is "For They Have Come."
Years ago Liz introduced me to the Rules for Decision as a way to get a handle on my morning anxiety. I was totally clueless at the time and they made no sense whatsoever. Recently, I revisited them. I listened to the telephone group session during which it was discussed, wrote them down on an index card which I keep in my wallet, typed them out nicely on a piece of resume paper which I posted on my frig, and - thought about them. Suddenly they are starting to sink in. I'm using them throughout the day, certainly not word for word but in essence to be sure. Does it bring me lasting peace? No, but at least it keeps me from sliding down that slippery slope into negativity, aka fear, and opens the door to another choice.
I've always wondered about my fascination with larger than life villains, bot real and in fiction. While watching mob boss Tony melt down in the final episodes, I saw a parallel between him and other "seekers of truth". Tony is sincere in his desire to "find himself" and learn "what it's all about." He's hired a high priced shrink to help him out. But Tony has set the agenda as to what he will listen to - ie. the personal mind, and the personal mind only. Any advice from his well-meaning shrink only scares him and he reacts with anger.
Given his extreme lifestyle choices, he ends up paying a heavy price for his stubbornness. What price will we pay for our stubbornness? The choice is ours.
When I mentioned above that Tony was sincere about "finding himself" and learning "what its all about" - what I really meant is that he is sincere about finding a way out of his pain. Any ideas that don't conform to and confirm his insane projections are rejected. His rage and fear keep building. He blames his therapist for "not helping" him. And for Big Tony, his worst fears come true.
I really liked this article and as with so many things, it is timely for me... HA! 'TIME' the great illusion... Of 'Course' I read it just as I am thinking about that same phenomenon in me. I often come across things in the Course that I want to share with others and I have questioned myself as to why I want to do this... I usually end up writing it in a journal or on my 'notepad' on my phone under the title: Daily Thoughts.
I am also careful not to discuss the Course with others, except ACIM students. The little that I let slip has already convinced a few of my knitting buddies that I've got a screw loose.
I find that of all the precepts of the Course, 'projection' is the hardest for me. (I know there's no order of difficulty. What can I say. My perceptions are warped! ;-/ ). But at the same time, my growth in this area of projection (the responsibility I take for what my mind perceives about 'another') has totally changed my relationship with my husband. It's scary-weird how it has worked!!
Any way, I want to thank all of you who have commented here. I love your shares. And thank you Liz.