Ask: What does it mean to tell your brother he is right even when he is wrong?

“I was wondering if you could open up or shed some light and clarity on the following statement Jesus makes . . . .
‘When you correct a brother, you are telling him that he is wrong. He may be making no sense at the time, and it is certain that, if he is speaking from the ego, he will not be making sense. But your task is still to tell him he is right.’ (A Course in Miracles, T-9.III.2)
I'm not sure what he means when he says ‘But your task is still to tell him he is right’ and how this would sort of look in a practical way.” – Anonymous


You increase fear in others when you make them wrong. So instead just let them know that they are understood. For example, a friend has what you consider really wacked-out political views. Instead of arguing with them look at where they are coming from. Usually it's fear. So just say things like, "You seem really afraid." Or, "I'm sorry that you are so afraid." Something that validates what underlies their statements rather than the statements themselves. They will feel better for being understood. And you will feel better for getting to the heart of the matter and not increasing their fear.

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Comments

will said…
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will said…
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"You know...you could be right," always worked for me and ended the conversation.
ACIM Mentor said…
It's all in the tone, Will.
Tom said…
"That's an interesting point of view". Acknowledges without agreeing ..
will said…
Liz, As you know TV has made politics a blood sport that everyone can take part in. I was laughing when I thought about the people who I used to talk politics with. It was their identity.
nicci said…
excellent. thank you.
Anonymous said…
I had the text open and while contemplating the question posed, I read this paragraph that I thought I would add . . . "God's justice rests in gentleness upon His Son, and keeps him safe from all injustice the world would lay upon him. Could it be that you could make his sins reality, and sacrifice his Father's Will for him? Condemn him not by seeing him within the rotting prison where he sees himself. It is your special function to ensure the door be opened, that he may come forth to shine on you, and give you back the gift of freedom by receiving it of you. What is the Holy Spirit's special function but to release the holy Son of God from the imprisonment he made to keep himself from justice? Could your function be a task apart and separate from His Own?" (T.Ch.26 I. 8)

This paragraph brought me to deeper comfort! "God's justice rests in gentleness upon His Son and keeps him safe" and "it is your special function to ensure the door be opened, that he may come forth to shine on you and give you back the gift".

Such Love I just had to share. Deb
ACIM Mentor said…
Yes, Will, fear is the identity of many. That's why validating it comforts them.
ACIM Mentor said…
To be more clear: When you validate what someone is actually displaying, like fear or anger, they feel "seen". And this comforts them. That's what they are really seeking - to be seen and understood.

Of course you have to be coming from a truly charge-neutral place. If you are snarky about it then you are just adding your fear to the mix and fear just escalates all around.
will said…
Yes, coming from a truly charge neutral space. I have done that a 'few' times and there is a confidence that you have when you say it. People can see that neutral confidence and it defuses the situation.
Helen C. said…
The response I use quite often is, "That's one way to look at it." This acknowledges their point of view without agreeing or disagreeing with it.
My wife is an atheist and I tell her I agree with her totally.There is no God of this world.The God of this world is dead,even the archbishops are telling us this. The philosophers are saying this world is purposeless and are true that is. Folks are beginning to wake up and more open to the teachings of ACIM.

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