Keep An Open Mind as the Undoing Unfolds Through You
Keep an Open Mind as the Undoing Unfolds Through You
Back in 2014 when this mind described to a client its then-recent inability to answer some questions about the self within it he recommended the book, “The Experience of No-Self” by Bernadette Roberts. Ms. Roberts was a contemplative nun for 8 years but left the convent and returned to the world (or, as she calls it, “the marketplace”). However, she continued to live a contemplative life as she became a wife and mother, among other things. One day, after over 30 years on the journey, while meditating she discovered that she could not locate her self. And, even more disturbing for her, she could not find God because she was used to being in union with God and now there was no longer a self and an “Other” with which to be in union. She had not been seeking this and she had no idea it would happen.
At the time of reading this, this mind was uncertain exactly what it was experiencing or was about to experience so it was unsure if our journeys were arriving at the same place (both yes and no). But this mind was struck by how Ms. Roberts’ expectations determined what, in the end, had to be undone in her mind to grow more fully aware of Truth. This mind realized it was in for the same undoing of expectations, though this mind’s expectations were different from Ms. Roberts’ expectations. For example, Ms. Roberts had read and experienced what is found in traditional Christian contemplative thought and this shaped her expectations. She had sought and found the union of God-within, or a “higher self”, with God-without only to have that blown out of the water that day. She did not know that the self would fall away. This mind had not sought “union” of any kind because it saw the inherent separation in that idea. It sought to be aware of the Oneness (Unity or Wholeness) that is already within but of Which it was not consciously aware. This mind did expect that would lead to a “self” falling away. But it also, sometimes overtly, sometimes rather subtly, expected it to be replaced by a “Higher Self” experience of some kind. Instead this mind found that all self, in fact all “identity”, falls away.
Your mind’s manifestation of the undoing of not-Truth is very specific to the way your seemingly-individual mind works. You cannot help but form expectations of how this will be. You hear and read things and you automatically form concepts. But these can eventually become obstacles, too. Sometimes you will be constrained by the shape they take; sometimes you won’t see beyond them to what else could occur; sometimes, you will miss miracles and shifts because they did not take a form you expected; sometimes you will be looking for shifts in the wrong place [as I did for so long waiting for the ego (personal thought system) to change]. The lesson is not to fight your expectations. Let them arise but also keep an open mind. You will find, as Ms. Roberts did, and as I have so often, that your path will not unfold how you thought it would because your expectations were based on what you thought you already knew. But remember, Where you are headed is completely unlike what you already think you know. So could you really know how to get There?
It can be confusing when your expectations are shattered. And they often are on the path to lasting peace! As a mentor I share my experience and clarity with my clients to help them see their way through the many uncomfortable episodes along the way. You can email me at Liz@acimmentor.com and learn more about what I offer at www.acimmentor.com.