The Grand Tour of Fear


Sometimes I hope there is some reason for the journey through fear I have taken these past two years since I rose in consciousness. I have seen fear up close and intimately; raw, unmasked, and unmodified. But then I see that it is just as insignificant as the experience of existence (ego) that is gone for me and when it is over I will not give it any thought.
This is just the way this split mind comes to an end.
Everything A Course in Miracles says about the ego I have visited, experientially, not as just a concept. I have been through the fear of death and I’ve been through death. (Not of the body, obviously, which is irrelevant.) A much worse experience was fear of nonexistence. Because, as the Course points out, at least death “proves” there had been a life. Nothing terrifies the ego more than the idea that it doesn’t exist. Because it doesn’t. And I’ve seen that, too.
When I reached the furthest edge of fear of nonexistence I had only one place to go if I didn’t pull back: Insanity. This is what the ego offers: You either accept it or you go insane. But I had seen it is not real, so I could see I had another choice.
That was the bottom, a few weeks ago.
This has not been fun. It has been extremely difficult at times, actually. But at least it has always been interesting.
The latest thing I did was take a tour of the ego factory and watch it make illusions. I saw how fear arises in Wholeness (Oneness) and makes a material world to block It. I saw—clearly—how I have made separation from God and others in this way and in an ongoing way. That was what that entire other experience of existence (mortal-consciousness) was. This was breathtaking. But right after seeing this, I saw how form does not block Love unless I want it to. I can make it an obstacle by giving it meaning or I can look toward Love instead.
There has been nothing new in what I’ve seen. What is new is how I see it. There is no doubt in my mind about my Power now. I have seen and felt myself empower illusions. There’s no one and nothing else here.
It is all winding down. The ego’s echo shrinks in size and power each day. I do not mean to scare anyone. The flip side of this is my growing awareness of my Self (Christ). I will write about that as it unfolds more and more.
How awakening unfolds for your mind will be unique to your mind. This is why I wonder if there’s some purpose in seeing all this as I do. But what purpose can there be in what I see is illusion? I can give it meaning and make it real to me. Or I can look to Love.

>>>>> 
I accept questions for this blog/newsletter. Send them to Liz@acimmentor.com.

Comments

Mandy said…
Trust love, acceptance and kindness
8:30 PM
KIYAAN ISAHQ FINANCE LIMITED said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
7:03 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Committed to the Spiritual Process

If you’ve been reading my blog/newsletter for the past few weeks then you know significant things have occurred in the life of this mind. Four years ago the ego (personal thought system) fell away. I didn’t realize it fully and I spent three and a half years personally in a rather barren place in this mind, though there was peace in the rest of my mind. I did feel done with the world, but I didn’t know what that meant. I just stayed with the feeling, wondering what would come next. The next thing arrived in this mind last summer with a subtle shift from emptiness to a delicious Spaciousness. This was followed by beautiful Golden Light, Love, and Joy filling the Space. Bewilderingly, an effect of this was a romance novel! From there, the Light and the shifts continued. During this time a client in Australia whom I have called Zelda in these articles, but whose real name is Hannah, became a friend as well. We grew closer over several months and began to experience a lot of sync...
Read more

Ask: What is meant by "extend Love"?

I wonder exactly what is meant by "extend love" or how one extends love. Is it a loving intention toward the person, or a wish for them, or what? Can you give an example? – JO “Extending love” means replacing unloving thoughts in your mind with the awareness of Love in your mind. For example, your peace of mind is disturbed while watching something on television. Your peace is gone because you believe that what you see is reality. You extend Love in this situation by turning inward to Truth (God), feeling Love’s Presence within you, and remembering that It, not the images appearing, is What is Real. It may take you a while to accept that only your own thoughts cause you pain. So at first you may feel that you need to extend Love “out there” to the images that seem to be causing you pain. Or you may extend Love to another who is sharing their painful story with you. You can do this by imagining the situation or the person in a Loving Light. Or you may use some other image to ...
Read more

Evolving Practice with ACIM

           The Course was dictated to two who had a sense of Spirit working in their lives. After all, they were taking down the Course itself! The Universal Christ Mind sought to develop and grow their awareness of Spirit through the lessons in the Workbook as well as simply in discussion with them, privately and through the Course . And for those who find the Course and already have an awareness of Spirit, even if only dimly, the Course functions in the same way. Through the practice suggested, they develop their trust in Spirit. But for many who come to the Course , the discernment of Spirit within has not yet occurred. For them, practice is the means of opening to the awareness and experience of Spirit. Those who do not understand this often feel frustrated and even angry with the Course for suggesting that they should be having experiences that they do not yet have. They feel that they fall short when they read the instructions and descriptions ...
Read more