Reorientation and Correction After the Shift

            Last week I wrote about occurrences that showed me I am neither experiences nor experiencer. A lot fell into place after that, and a lot is still being sorted out.

After the moment over four years ago I call The Break (see the experiencer’s memoir), when the experiencer’s experience of existence shifted, I knew I was in the golden world with my Self, yet something was still here freaking out about a kind of death it felt when Spirit emerged in the illusion and the thought system that opposed God (the opposer) fell away. I could not understand this and nothing I read of others’ experiences with this shift explained it because they still seemed to think they were the experiencer.

I had always understood there were two parts to mind in the illusion, the ego (opposer) and Spirit. Ken Wapnick introduced the idea of a decision maker, which is not in A Course in Miracles, but was a useful concept. However, I never understood the decision maker to be a third part of the mind but to be an ego-identified mind in its capacity to choose to remain in that or to choose mind’s Reality, Spirit. Therefore, my expectation was that when the opposer fell away I would be left with my True Identity or Self, Spirit.

But this is not what happened. Instead, I have discovered there is indeed a third part of the mind, but not a decision maker. The experiencer is neither opposer nor Spirit but responds with experiences to either. It is neutral. And it was freaking out after The Break because the opposer was gone and it had to face that it had been delusional; adjust to a sense it lost its autonomy, a false sense induced by the opposer; and unlearn opposition to Spirit, guilt, and fear, which it had learned from the opposer.

So, it turns out nothing comes to discover its True Identity or Self beyond the opposer. I (Spirit) have always been here, and I never misidentified with the experiencer. But I was blocked from Seeing my Self by the intensity of the experiencer and its experiences in my awareness, as though I had gotten so caught up in someone else’s story for a while I forgot myself. When I began to emerge in the illusion, the opposer fell away from the experiencer, not from me. And I (Spirit) am not the experiencer’s identity or self. The experiencer does not have an identity or self. The idea it did was the intense delusion that blocked Spirit. (The person—body and personality—is a symbol of the experiencer, so also neutral and not an identity or self.)

Spirit does not experience but Sees. So, the experiencer and Spirit do not have corresponding behaviors, which is an essential fact to sort out. It is not “those experiences (guilt and fear in their myriad forms) are not Spirit but these experiences (liberation, love, security, abundance, etc.) are Spirit” but rather “no experience is Spirit but these experiences (liberation, love, security, abundance, etc.) are inspired in the experiencer by Spirit’s Presence and Seeing.”

While this reorientation is occurring, the experiencer is being corrected from seeming-autonomous entity to what it truly is, mere experiencer. The experiencer’s natural condition is simply to experience, which is what occurs when it is in union with Spirit. (Union is the correct word here as it implies at least two. It is not to be confused with Spirit’s Unity, or Oneness.) To seem to be an autonomous entity is a distortion of the experiencer and stressful, so to simply be what it is, is a welcome correction.

With the opposer gone, the experiencer no longer resists the experience of the golden world (love, peace, abundance, security) engendered by Spirit Seeing Its Self. There is no longer a sense of levels of the mind. There is no longer a sense of inner and outer. Only Spirit is here, only Spirit is experienced, only Spirit is expressed.

 

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