Watching Ego's Personalization Come Undone

           One of the first things consciousness here noticed when the center shifted from ego to Spirit was the sense of personal learning and the growth that comes from that were gone. In what were once learning situations, it felt it was merely discovering information. Consciousness does not have an “I” of its own. And Spirit does not learn. So, as ego withdrew from the center of consciousness, information was revealed (like the correct orientation of ego, consciousness, and Spirit to each other), but there was no longer a false “I” to feel it was “learning something” that led to personal, growth, development, or evolution.

However, consciousness here defaults to framing experiences in personal terms. It was distorted by ego to think this way. And in fact, its language, which reveals how it thought, was constructed by and for ego, making it awkward to communicate without the personal perspective. In writing, this is not too difficult. Consciousness here started writing “this mind” in its articles as the shift approached and the “I” no longer felt appropriate. But in thinking and in conversation, and for effortless writing, even in its own journal, consciousness here defaults to an inaccurate “I”.

For example, as the shift was approaching, there were new experiences indicating Spirit was coming to take center. They were recorded with these thoughts:

 

“I am done with the world.”

“I am not in the world anymore. I feel like a ghost.”

“I am non-local. I am everywhere.”

“I am really Elsewhere.”

 

The “I” in these statements was not ego, which responded to these new experiences with feelings of dread and thoughts like, “This means I’m dead.” But neither was it consciousness here being done with the world, leaving the world, or its symbol, Liz, suddenly becoming a ghost. Instead, it was a new “I”, Spirit, being realized. What consciousness here was registering would more accurately have been:

 

“There is Something here now that is not concerned with the person’s life in the world.”

“There is Something here now that is not from within consciousness. It feels ethereal.”

“There is Something here now that is not limited to a body. It is limitless.”

“There is Something here now that comes from beyond consciousness.”

 

 When consciousness here mentions the structures of ego that remain and get in the way of Spirit extending, this kind of thinking like a person is what it means. In speaking and writing, consciousness here does not concern itself too much with using the “I” unless it wants to make a point about consciousness not having an “I” of its own. But in thinking, consciousness here now stops and examines what it is truly experiencing despite the easy conceptual and language default that initially personalizes an experience. It feels like shedding layers of clothing that are no longer needed.

Ego conflates itself with consciousness—specifically its symbol, the person—and seems to live in and through the person. But Spirit allows consciousness to be as it is, a neutral “receptive mechanism” that registers the presence of either ego or Spirit. So, Spirit does not “live in” the person as ego seems to. It lets the person be, without judgment. The “I” of Spirit registers as a very different experience of existence for consciousness than the “I” of ego. The contrast is recorded in quotes above. The personalizing and language of ego have remained and have felt incongruent and restrictive for years. But they are finally, slowly being corrected, if not in communication, then in the thinking of consciousness here.

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