Ask: What are others?

…I am a married man with a very good female friend who I feel very close to. She is also a student of ACIM and we frequently discuss it. I find myself wondering...what is she really? Is she really just a vain imagining of my real self? Perhaps a reflection or projection of what my ego self believes itself to be? – MW

Who anyone is to you depends on whether you choose to identify with a personal self or with Truth.
Truth (God) is formless being. The experience of Truth is boundless love and peace and joy. It is an experience of wholeness. When you are identified with a personal self you are out of touch with your natural state of being. So you feel conflict and lack. You seek to supply this lack through the personal self and you see relationships as the way to do this. The personal thought system (ego) teaches you that others are your source. It projects the cause of your unhappiness onto them. It also tells you that in others you will find the peace and happiness that you seek. This causes the stress that you see in abundance in personal relationships. Others are not the cause of your unhappiness. Your lack of awareness of Truth is. And you will never find in others the love and peace and happiness that you already have but are denying in yourself.
But when your mind is centered in Truth you are in touch with the love and peace and happiness that are your natural state of being. You live in this awareness of wholeness rather than through the personal self. You recognize that the universe of form is only a story unfolding from your mind. Others are then to you manifestations of your wholeness. They come into the personal self’s story to supply whatever the personal self needs, spiritually, emotionally, and/or practically. You feel gratitude for them.
In either case you may be attached to those to whom the personal self is close. When you are coming from the personal thought system (ego) your attachment is heavy. You are dependent on others to make you feel whole and happy. You are desperate to hold onto them and you may become manipulative to do so. If they must fall away from your life you are devastated.
But when you are relating to others from an awareness of Truth your attachment is light. You feel no need to change others to be something to make you happy and whole. You are happy to have them in your awareness, and if they must fall away you feel momentary regret and sadness, but not devastation. Your sense of wholeness and peace is unchanged by anything that happens in the personal story.
If you find yourself relating to others through the personal thought system and experiencing conflict, lack, and desperation you can always make the other choice. Instead of looking to them for wholeness and happiness, you can turn inward and get in touch with the Wholeness and Happiness that are your natural state of being. This will transform the personal self’s relationships from manifestations of a conflicted mind to manifestations of a mind at peace.

Learn about the books The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, The ACIM Mentor Articles, and 4 Habits for Inner Peace at

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Anonymous said…
If I am having a dream and I create all the "figures" in the dream and assign all roles. Does this mean I wrote all of Dylans songs.??? On some level??? I 'm not trying to be funny I'm just trying to understand all the good things in my life. What are part of the trap that guilt sets to keep me bound to the world???
ACIM Mentor said…
The "you" that the Course refers to when it says that you are the dreamer of the dream or that you made the dream is "you" as the "son of God" - the one mind that is split between God and not-God (ego). You do not make the universe of from on a personal (ego)or individual level. On that level, however, you do project meaning onto the neutral universe of form.
Guilt is inherent in the personal thought system (ego). When you identify with it you cannot escape guilt. You can only overcome guilt by releasing your identification with the personal self. The things that you enjoy only keep you bound in guilt if you see them as necessary for your happiness and peace. In other words, when you make them your god. But when your mind is centered in Truth you will still enjoy things in the world but without attachment. You will let them come and let them go in the recognition that they are not your salvation.

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