Ask: How as a child was I responsible for the outer picture of an inner condition?

I am studying a course that asks me to look back at my life. I suffered a lot of child abuse which resulted in no self esteem and a complete inability to function in the world. I am now 65 years old. How do I use ACIM when it says that what you experience is a picture of an inner condition? I was just a child. How could I project this into the world or the people that were responsible for me growing up? I just can’t see that I was responsible but I am willing to accept it if that is the way ACIM explains it… – DH (September 30, 2011)

Here is the quote from A Course in Miracles to which you refer:

“Perception seems to teach you what you see. Yet it but witnesses to what you taught. It is the outward picture of a wish; an image that you wanted to be true.” (T-24.VII.8)

If you read the quote above in context (read the paragraphs around it) you will find that it is not referring to the specifics of an individual life but to the “son of God’s” choice to make a universe of form that is the opposite of God in every way. When the Course speaks to you about the making of the universe of form it is speaking to “you” as the mind that is split between Truth (God) and not-Truth (ego), not to “you” as a personal self.
Personal selves are projections of the split mind. The circumstance into which each seems to be “born” is a random expression of the wish mentioned in the quote above. So the story of a young boy in your “memory” is an “outward picture” of the split mind’s wish for not-Truth, not of the young boy’s personal wishes.
When you choose peace you choose to remember that you are the split mind rather than a projection (personal self) of that mind. You choose to take responsibility for how your thoughts about a neutral universe of form determine your experience of conflict or peace. You are doing this now by looking at the personal thought system’s story for you. Remember, if you are in pain now the source of pain is in your mind now. In other words, the source of your pain is not in an actual past but in your thoughts about a personal past that are in your mind now.

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Learn about the books The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, The ACIM Mentor Articles, and 4 Habits for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.

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