The Present and the Process
First, this mind believed it was a self in a process toward
the goal of peace. Then one day it had an experience while meditating that Truth is right here. It was the Holy
Instant and It was breathtaking. This mind realized that in meditation, and in
everything else, it always reached for Truth.
And in that reaching it over-reached
Truth and missed It because Truth is
right here. It was like when the self looks for the mustard in the
refrigerator but does not see it because the mustard is right in front of it
and the self is looking past it to find it.
And then the awareness of the immediate Presence of Truth
was gone. Each day in meditation this mind tried to be present and experience
the Truth again but could not. It could remember the experience but not conjure
it. How long did this go on? Months? Years? Then it happened again and this
mind would think, “This is it. This is all I need to experience. This is all I
need to remember. Stop reaching. It’s here now.” And then…It couldn’t make it
happen again. More months, maybe years, before this mind had the experience
again. But then, over a long, long time, it began to happen more often. And
this mind began to take the awareness that “Truth is here now” into the
unfolding of each day. “It’s here,” it would remind itself throughout the day
and it would just be with It. If this mind couldn’t experience Truth it still
reminded itself that Truth is here. This mind does not need to experience Truth
for Truth to be.
Over a long time this mind re-trained itself to stop
reaching, to stop thinking in terms of a goal, to just stop and be present to
Truth. If this mind reached for peace it missed peace because peace is here. If
this mind set up peace as a goal it would obtain in the future it put distance
between itself and peace because peace is here now. And, over that long time,
all that reaching and goal-setting diminished until it finally ceased. The
Truth is here now and so is this mind. This mind no longer has anything for
which to reach.
But there is still something in this mind that is in a
process and that still seems to be learning. This mind has come to understand
that actually time was over for it many, many years ago when it first allowed
Truth into its awareness. Since then all it has been doing is accepting this fact. And now that it has
accepted it, it can see that the self and its story was only ever an effect. Originally the self’s life in
the world was an expression (effect) of the idea of not-Truth. Then, when this
mind allowed Truth into its awareness, the story of the self became an
expression (effect) of the-undoing-of-the-idea-of-not-Truth. And that part of the
story is still going on. But this mind is learning to no longer confuse itself
with the story. The unfolding story of the self is just an idea in its mind
that it observes while it rests in the present in peace.
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Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.
Comments
And about "overlooking the mustard in the refrigerator", I had a funny little experience this morning. When I pulled in to buy gas, a woman with a clipboard raced over to try and sell me garage work there at the station - I was kind to her and said I get my repairs at another garage, my family always had, and i am a loyal customer there, but I do buy gas here all the time! She was quite insistant, and even took my gas cap off then she did something I NEVER knew about: she put the gas cap in two little hooks right in the tiny door which opens and shuts over the gas cap! I said, "Wow!! I never knew it was supposed to go there when one is filling up the tank!!" Like, it was always there, with me (had this car 12 years so far) right under my nose! I didn't even know I didn't know this fact...it made me laugh so hard! I immediately in my mind equated it with Truth always being there, even if one is unaware.
i laughed christine, ive been learning via my car too. plus earlier this year i had the experience of discovering that my car of years has a switch in the glove compartment that opens the boot.. such fun!
i was riding my bike and there was a huge flock of red-tailed black cockatoos in a stand of trees. i have wanted one of their tail feathers for years, and i thought 'thats a perfect place to search for one' as there were nuts and debris everywhere, theyd obviously been hanging out there for ages. i got off my bike to look in the thick undergrowth, and realised there were christmas spiders everywhere, hundreds of them. it seemed such a golden opportunity to find a feather, so many cockatoos.. but to look id have to destroy so many spidery homes. i stood there for quite some time, not wanting to miss the opportunity, but not wanting to disturb the spiders just for a feather. i thought 'if im meant to have a feather, i wont have to try so hard or destroy homes in the process' and got back on my bike and just forgot about it. less than a week later, out on a ride again and almost home, i heard a squawk loud enough to hear over my headphones, and stopped the bike and looked up. a red-tailed black cockatoo was right over my head, and as i watched it dropped two tail feathers right in front of me. they spiralled down with the sun shining through the red in them in such a glorious way.
i was quite gobsmacked. and while one aspect of it, the 'message' regarding not having to strain for things seems apparent to me, ive been confused about the dynamics of what happened there. i feel like im missing something, not understanding something. something about letting go? faith? timing? ease? desire? every conclusion i come to does not ring completely true for me! any thoughts anyone? cos it just occured to me maybe i cant 'get this' on my own! there were two feathers ;)
Whenever I get worked up that will be my go to visual.
Thank You.
AMEN
Ed Stone
My analytic mind can get caught-up when thinking about the different parts of mind and especially as they relate to the Inner formless presence of Divine Being (visualize a cat, laying on her back, totally tangled in yarn!). I'm beginning to see that my part (at my nascent stage of learning) is to do the lessons, observe my mind, attempt to 'see' what is in my right mind (Truth based) and what is in my ego mind (not-truth, form, etc) and with Guidance... let go. I call it non-identification with insanity.
When I observe my ego self when it mistakenly chooses to react to something, as if there was anything outside my mind to cause me emotional upset, more and more I realize that this is It! This is the Moment to take responsibility; realize that I am being shown something unhealed in my ego mind and forgive myself for 'reacting' to what wasn't actually a threat (or an imperfection) at all.
I had this happen at the doctor's office recently. When I made the appointment I was clear that if my regular doctor wasn't available, another doctor or physician's assistant would be fine, just so long as they could preform a small procedure in the office, if they found it to be necessary. Well, it turned out the person I was assigned couldn't do the procedure and wanted to refer me to a different doctor at a different facility (30 miles away). She blamed the scheduler, but it was small comfort. I felt frustrated and angry!
When I looked at my emotions I asked myself what I was believing about this situation; what did I need to own? I began to see that I had the thought that when things don't go as planned, after I've spent energy IN that planning, that it's something 'done to me'. Obviously, my egoic mind and personal self were running the show. As Byron Katie asks... Who would you be without this thought? I would be my sinless, Divine Self! There was no recrimination. No self-judgment. Just smiles.