A Happy Personality Does Not Signal Peace
Sometimes I get comments from students of A Course in Miracles students along these
lines: “I have a friend who is always happy and peaceful even though they
aren’t spiritual”; “Here I am miserable on this path and I look around at all
these people who are content with their lives without working a spiritual path.”
Some people just have happy personalities. I used to clean
the house of a woman who had such an upbeat disposition that as a child she was
given the nickname “Sunny”. But I was in her home and saw that she was just
like everyone else with her concerns and worries and judgments, etc. Her sunny
disposition was genuine for her personality but it was a superficial trait. She
was really no happier than anyone else.
A friend of my wife had a large personality that seemed to
fill the room when she entered it. She was funny and bubbly and chipper. Her
upbeat personality was not a mask; it was genuine. But those close to her also
knew of the darkness within her mind. A year ago she killed herself. A happy personality
in not an expression of true happiness and lasting peace.
Just as some people have a naturally happy personality
others naturally have a more quiet, thoughtful, and rational mind. These traits
do not always come from an awareness of Truth. A mind can be quiet, thoughtful,
and rational and still be immersed in the world-as-reality.
“Mistake not truce for
peace, nor compromise for the escape from conflict. To be released from
conflict means that it is over. The door is open; you have left the
battleground.” (T-23.III.6)
Many people have made a truce with the ego (personal thought
system) in their mind: “Don’t look within or question me (ego) and I (ego) will
leave you alone.” They don’t experience the ego attacks that students of ACIM
do because they are not threatening the ego. In fact, if your goal is to
release yourself from guilt and fear, you can look at ego attacks as a sign
that you are on the right track.
A bubbly or quiet personality or a truce with the ego does
not lead to an end of conflict. The bubbly or quiet personality experiences
conflict beneath these superficial traits. And the one who makes a truce with
conflict has merely found a way to adapt to it. But none of these personalities
have actually transcended the conflict.
I say this often and I’ll say it again: When peace came to
this mind it did not change the personality of this self. Nor has this mind’s
awareness of Truth changed the conflict in the ego thought system in this mind.
An awareness of Truth has made this mind quieter, more thoughtful, and more
rational and this no doubt presents the self differently to others. But the
self’s personality has not fundamentally changed. It is not an ongoingly happy
personality. In fact, this mind gave up the pursuit of personal happiness when
peace came to stay. Peace is peace, after all. The fact that peace did not
change the ego or the self only made it clear to this mind that those must be
released for there to be only peace
in this mind.
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Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace.
Comments
So poignant are the words:
"Do you want to change the mind or the ego and personality? Here is the choice for any mind: Being aware of Truth and at peace; or pursuing personal happiness. It can't be both."
i recognise that im still doing this practise because i want happiness though, i still associate peace and happiness. maybe not happiness as personal fulfilment, but with non resistance to whats showing up. but then.. i think that non resistance would be happiness, would be fulfilling.
um, what im wondering is, what does acim mean by 'happiness'? what exactly did you give up?
You mentioned releasing the ego or the self. Do you feel like you are headed in that direction?
and you have no need to make choices to fix anyone or anything, to effect worldly outcomes? so, how do you choose things in life? do you mean that you gave up the NEED to be a happy person, but still make your choices based on what feels ..um, good? but with no attachment to any outcome??
As for this mind, yes, the awareness of Truth is always here. If this mind wanders off it eventually returns to Truth.
that last answer really rounded it all out for me, so very helpful.
i get what you mean about some things simply needing to unfold naturally in time, you wrote a blog about that which began a relaxing and letting go of control process for me, it was like a weight had been.. pointed out! and the 'dropping the control' process continues.
this answer reminds me again that it seems we .. well, 'work our way' back to truth with less struggle by acceptance of current self identification, while remaining aware that its not the truth.