Finding What Has Value
I have absolutely nothing to write about this week! No one has sent in a question. And I have not felt moved to write anything, though I am still in a huge shift. I can feel personal transformation occurring, but I am not clear on exactly what it is, except I know it relates to the Holy Relationship (also known as Spiritual Vision, True Perception, the Real World, etc.).
Why do I characterize it as personal transformation? Because I can feel changes being wrought on the self. Something is coming through this mind and it is affecting the self.
On a personal level, I have had different shifts brought about by the aging process in the past couple of decades. One occurred in my mid-thirties. It was really just realizing I was in my mid-thirties and my youth had passed. In my forties, I was visited by various experiences dealing with less time ahead than behind, and that with diminishing physical vigor. This was accelerated by losing both of my parents when I was around forty and realizing my generation in the family was now the leading edge. There was no one ahead of us, only behind, as though somehow an older generation buffered us against the inevitable end!
And now, at fifty-four, I’m well aware of how little time I have left. Twenty to thirty years, which does not seem like much anymore. But, more than that, it is passing so startlingly fast. I just turned fifty and now I’m fifty-four! It’s going to zip by.
The other day I had the sensation come thunderously upon me that now is the time to determine what the rest of my life will be about. What is different about this period of personal transformation in relation to the ones I experienced in the past is the awareness I do not have to make something happen. I don’t have to make or dig around for the answer. It will be given. I am not anxious because self-identification is diminished. I feel its transformation but do not experience it as defining me. I just watch it unfold. And the answer came quickly, later that same day. The rest of my time will be about the Holy Relationship. It is what the self’s life has been about in one way or another since I first experienced It thirty four years ago. But now it is shifting to a higher gear.
I suspect when one reaches this time of life (or faces the end in some other way) where they feel the limited remainder upon them, they find what they truly value. That may be something they once experienced and valued or something they never had but always wanted. For me, it is the former. The Holy Relationship is the only real experience of this whole personal life. It is the only thing of real value. So it does not surprise me that this is how it is unfolding.
And I know the process of living in that awareness has already begun. The Golden Light of the Holy Relationship returned to me last August, as I wrote about in November (http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2017/11/an-interesting-thing-happened-this.html). But what I don’t know is how it will look going forward. I suspect that where I experienced the Holy Relationship with one other originally thirty-four years ago, now it will be more of a generalized experience. But what do I know? I’ve been so wrong before. I’m just along for the ride, learning to not judge it.
Okay, so I found something to write about after all.
Are you experiencing shifts and transformations of your own? It can help to speak with someone who has been through these life processes. Email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
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