Finding What Has Value
I have absolutely nothing to write about this week! No one
has sent in a question. And I have not felt moved to write anything, though I
am still in a huge shift. I can feel personal transformation occurring, but I
am not clear on exactly what it is, except I know it relates to the Holy
Relationship (also known as Spiritual Vision, True Perception, the Real World,
etc.).
Why do I characterize it as personal transformation? Because I can feel changes being wrought
on the self. Something is coming through this mind and it is affecting the
self.
On a personal level, I have had different shifts brought
about by the aging process in the past couple of decades. One occurred in my
mid-thirties. It was really just realizing I was in my mid-thirties and my
youth had passed. In my forties, I was visited by various experiences dealing
with less time ahead than behind, and that with diminishing physical vigor.
This was accelerated by losing both of my parents when I was around forty and
realizing my generation in the family was now the leading edge. There was no
one ahead of us, only behind, as though somehow an older generation buffered us
against the inevitable end!
And now, at fifty-four, I’m well aware of how little time I
have left. Twenty to thirty years, which does not seem like much anymore. But,
more than that, it is passing so startlingly fast. I just turned fifty and now
I’m fifty-four! It’s going to zip by.
The other day I had the sensation come thunderously upon me
that now is the time to determine what the rest of my life will be about. What
is different about this period of personal transformation in relation to the
ones I experienced in the past is the awareness I do not have to make something
happen. I don’t have to make or dig around for the answer. It will be given. I am
not anxious because self-identification is diminished. I feel its
transformation but do not experience it as defining me. I just watch it unfold.
And the answer came quickly, later that same day. The rest of my time will be
about the Holy Relationship. It is what the self’s life has been about in one
way or another since I first experienced It thirty four years ago. But now it
is shifting to a higher gear.
I suspect when one reaches this time of life (or faces the
end in some other way) where they feel the limited remainder upon them, they
find what they truly value. That may be something they once experienced and valued
or something they never had but always wanted. For me, it is the former. The Holy
Relationship is the only real experience of this whole personal life. It is the
only thing of real value. So it does not surprise me that this is how it is
unfolding.
And I know the process of living in that awareness has
already begun. The Golden Light of the Holy Relationship returned to me last
August, as I wrote about in November (http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2017/11/an-interesting-thing-happened-this.html).
But what I don’t know is how it will look going forward. I suspect that where I
experienced the Holy Relationship with one other originally thirty-four years
ago, now it will be more of a generalized experience. But what do I know? I’ve
been so wrong before. I’m just along for the ride, learning to not judge it.
Okay, so I found something to write about after all.
>>>>>
Are you experiencing shifts and
transformations of your own? It can help to speak with someone who has been
through these life processes. Email me at Liz@acimmentor.com
to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
If you have a question the answer to
which you think will help others email it to me at Liz@acimmentor.com
and indicate that you want it answered in the newsletter/blog.
Comments
i realised that one way of looking at/describing the whole journey of the last ten or so years (since starting to study ACIM) has been a process of discovering my values, and re-evaluating them!
i was watching the movie 'cars 3' with my mum and through that i saw clearly how fear and happiness, etc, are expressions that SHOW me what i value. and while i cant force myself to drop a value that is causing my pain.. i DO, by that simple observing of the pain a value causes, open myself up to that value being shifted. be that direct pain or pain of fear of loss of happiness.. same thing in the end i guess. accepting that i value something that has no real value seems to automatically begin a process of letting go that i cant control, but i CAN support, and what im finding now is that support in this regard really just seems to be, at its heart, trust. i trust that part of me has not forgotten what has inherent Value.
plus of course, Liz has helped me to exponentially let go of guilt for the personal selfs values.. it really would appear to .. grease the wheels of the sorting out what has True value and what does not.
i love this line, Liz: "I suspect that where I experienced the Holy Relationship with one other originally thirty-four years ago, now it will be more of a generalized experience".. hehe.. generaLized ;) that is SO what i knew as a kid, that there was a way of loving that was the same for everyone. you know what im seeing now? (correct me if im wrong!) it doesnt displace personal loving, ie love in different forms. it exists alongside it. but then again.. what do i know, right!? ah, just very happy! the highs and lows of the personal self seem to be evening out. something consistent and steady is always here.
Although, again, the HR experience is more of What is than of directing love toward, as we do with personal love. It's not "loving everyone". It's "Love is What is real." It's a shift away from the limited personal experience completely.
the knowing i had for a while when i was little was that this Love did not exclude anything/one, plus i knew it was in everyone exactly the same, it was the the true part of everyone, was present in rapists and murderers and child molesters as much as it was present in me. when i tried to express that, i obviously got a lot of very angry or upset responses. peoples reactions to me confused me, because i was so sure. but its clear now - it was just my child-minds way of trying to express that only Love was true and it was never absent. and as most of us are only in touch with the personal 'directing love toward', of course the idea that there is something right at the centre, the heart of what we are, that is exactly the same in the full spectrum of humanitys expression would seem both ridiculous and terribly awful.. and i most certainly had no inkling of Oneness to try and clarify what i was feeling.
i have to say, over the years i felt so much guilt because i was trying to mix together knowing that only Love is real with directing love toward. the same impossible task as trying to blend truth and not-truth! the relief and joy in those moments where mind accepts that oil and water do not mix.
(Don't squash the human! Don't squash the Love!)
in your response to Hannah i fell deeply into the experience of these words,
"the Holy Relationship is more of What Is than of directing Love toward..."
often it is just a few words from your sharing here that are the quintessential answer to the deeper experience i have asked for help in experiencing the Holy Joining.
in gratitude,
n