Resistance, Obstacles, and Timing
The moment the idea of the opposite-of-Truth (God) arose it was undone by Truth’s all-encompassing nature. But within that idea is time, and in time it seems like the idea arose long ago and will be undone in some indefinite future. So what we experience unfolding as the story of spacetime is the Undoing of the idea of not-Truth (the “Atonement” in A Course in Miracles). That means everything that occurs is part of the Undoing. Some things are obviously a part of it, as in each time Truth breaks into a mind, however briefly. I refer to this as the “manifest Undoing” and those who are conscious of Truth the “manifest undoers”. But everyone else is also playing their part perfectly. They are the “support players” as it were. They are just as necessary to the undoing as the manifest undoers.
As I have come to understand this, I have become aware that everything happens in the perfect time. Resistance and obstacles in seemingly-individual minds fall away as the story requires, not necessarily in the time the individual would like.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I watch this mind. The ego (personal thought system) fell away from all but this conscious mind. I cannot find the structure itself. So I refer to what remains as an echo and describe it as being like the after image left on my retina when I close my eyes after I have stared at something for a while. I have, in the past few months, reviewed in totality the workings of the ego and my relationship to it. I feel, frankly, reamed out when it comes to understanding this mind and its relationship to the ego. There is simply nothing left for me to see or to learn about it.
At the same time, the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit) in my mind “bleeds through” and informs my experience. It’s like I’ve hit a glass ceiling. I can see the Light on the other side, but I cannot yet fully enter into it. My proximity to the Light is responsible for copious insights, illuminating both the darkness and the Light in this mind. But while this is interesting, no lesson or insight will be responsible for this mind’s shift into the Awareness of Truth. They are only effects and serve no purpose.
To understand this limbo state I’m in, hovering on the edge of shifting fully into the Awareness of Truth, I come to timing. There is nothing wrong. There is nothing to fix. There are no obstacles or resistance left in me except in the echo itself, which I know is not real and speaks only for itself. It is compartmentalized; packed up and ready to be dropped. It is simply that there is more going on in the process within this mind than obstacles that need to fall. And I am not alone. I am in a Holy Relationship with Hannah, who is in her own process. There is an alchemy occurring between us. We both feel we are being rather intensely reworked within. We do not yet feel our relationship is what it is to be. And, stepping back farther, our individual processes and our Holy Relationship are an expression of an even larger story, the Undoing itself. All is happening in good time.
What I am trying to convey here is this: No matter where you are in your process, you are playing your part perfectly. You cannot fail. There is no justification for guilt. You experience your obstacles and resistance as personally significant, but understand that they are part of a larger unfolding. If you are moved to look at them with the Holy Spirit, with or without a mentor or teacher, then do so. If you are not, don’t struggle. It’s not time.
I know what I have just written contradicts what ACIM says about timing. It says the only thing you have control over is “when”. It speaks of the tragedy of delay in time. But keep in mind the Voice was motivating Helen to take down ACIM. It was trying to break through her particular resistance.
I have written about free will before. Here’s a relevant excerpt from February 26, 2016, “More On It Is All Unfolding Perfectly”:
“So where does free will come into this? The self does not have free will. The self is an expression of a will that is free. That will is the will of what I call the “split-mind” and what A Course in Miracles calls the “Son of God”. In the introduction to ACIM about free will it says, ‘Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum.’ This means that you do not get to choose that, in your sense that you are not your true Being (‘separated from God’), you need to relearn What is your true Being. It goes on to say, ‘It (free will) means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time.’ This means that each individual self will play out the correction to the extent that they can. This is experienced as free will, but is in fact not self-determined. It is determined by the whole unfolding story of the undoing of the idea of not-Truth. The will that is free is the Son of God’s will, which, in an instant thought of the opposite-of-God and in that same instant undid the idea of the opposite-of-God by seeing its impossibility. It was free to do both and that is what is played out in the story of time.”
Of course, what makes most students push hard against their obstacles and resistance—the timing of the unfolding Undoing—is their discomfort. Well…it’s simply not a comfortable process to look at the ego and let it go. But struggling against it only makes it worse. You can mitigate your discomfort by taking it a day at a time and dealing with what is in front of you now instead of trying to be ahead of where you are. Do what you need to do to be at peace now and, understand that you cannot make your part go any faster. But neither can you slow it down.