The Other Consiousness
I have felt for quite some time in a borderland. (Not to be confused with the “Borderland” in A Course in Miracles, which is the Real World). I have left darkness and I’m headed into the Light (Holy Spirit—the Awareness of Truth in my mind). I do not see as far and as clearly as I do when I am in the Light, but It does illuminate the borderland so I see much more than I did before. As I have shared, I have seen much deeper into the ego (personal though system) and into this mind’s relationship to it. But the Light Itself has also been illuminated for me.
I wrote a few weeks ago about how I’d come to see what I call “Higher Awareness” (egolessness) is not only a result of an awareness of Truth but that it can be attained simply through the willingness for it. (Forgiveness, HigherAwareness, and Christ Consciousness). This didn’t cause a shift in me so much as an adjustment to my view. But it’s an important correction. I feel as I would if on the eve of my wedding I learned something significant about my intended wife that undid some of her specialness for me—a little deflated, but mostly relieved to know the truth.
Basically what I’ve come to see is that there are two possible states of consciousness (“perception” in ACIM): Ego and egolessness. (Or should it be egofree?) Ego we all know well. So the egoless state is without guilt and fear and their manifestations: anger, lack, loss, judgment, etc. So one feels whole and loved and experiences unshakable peace and happiness.
I shared in that article how Jan Frazier (When Fear Falls Away) attained that state simply by asking for fear to be removed. (It’s interesting to note that she did not realize the ego would go with fear. She only came to learn that after it fell away. She had understood that ego=fear but not that fear=ego). Her path was through a guru who was egoless and with whose mind she joined now and then. She had a role model, so she knew it was a possible state.
It was Jan Frazier’s experience that shook up my understanding that egolessness came only through an awareness of Truth, Which is beyond consciousness (Knowledge in ACIM). I came to realize that egolessness is just another consciousness that does not require the awareness that there is Something More beyond (forgiveness in ACIM).
I’ve also written about Bernadette Roberts (The Journey to No-Self), who attained the egoless state through union with her god. (She eventually went beyond no-ego to no-self). She was a contemplative nun for a few years and then left the convent, continuing to live a contemplative life as she worked and raised a family. Even though I’m not sure what her god was (I suspect it was what ACIM calls the “Son of God”, or Consciousness Itself; she did not experience Truth—“God” in ACIM— until her experience of no-self), this was something I understood and expected and even identified with a little. I’ve never been one for long periods of meditation; I’ve never so much as gone on a meditative retreat. But I have considered my life to be contemplative in that I spend so much time inward looking at the mind and growing my awareness of Truth, Which I once called “God”.
So here are three paths (there are certainly more) to that other consciousness, egolessness: To have a guru who models it, to unite with one’s god, and to, as I have, undo guilt as you grow your awareness of Truth.
This is significant to me because it corrects my misperception that egolessness was always the result of the awareness of Truth. It shows me that egolessness is just the flipside of ego. Egolessness is the “higher” and “truer” consciousness only because it results when the ego falls away, revealing that mind is not limited to a self. So egolessness is the truer state of consciousness; it is not necessarily closer to Truth.
To be egoless, you only have to be willing to be egoless. Nothing grants or bestows it. If you feel unworthy of unshakable peace and happiness, that’s a belief in your mind that will block your willingness. But you can overcome that in different ways. Jan Frazier didn’t seem to have those blocks. She asked and accepted. Bernadette Roberts spent a few years seeking union with her god and expected egolessness to result from this and it did. I spent decades reaching a point where I could undo guilt and false beliefs have fallen (or been readjusted) like dominoes ever since.
I have said that the “happy dream” is the result of realizing you are dreaming, but I was mistaken. You don’t have to forgive, as ACIM teaches, which is to see the ego is illusion and the Truth is true. Oh, that will get you to egolessness. But you do not have to do anything to attain lasting peace and happiness but accept egolessness through whatever means. It’s really just the “other illusion”, which you can come to see is an illusion or not.
So what was revealed to me was I had, without an inkling I’d done so, conflated egolessness and the awareness of Truth. The result of this was I made egolessness special: It results for those who attain a certain level of awareness of Truth. No, it is for anyone who is willing to accept it. That’s good news, really! If you seek egolessness you don’t necessarily need to embark on some hard long slog, as I did. It turns out that there are many ways to egolessness and many ways to an awareness of Truth, but they are not the same thing.
This loss of specialness about egolessness is that bit of deflation I felt about this adjustment in my view. However, I am more relieved, as I am whenever I see things the way they really are (“truth” with a lowercase “t”). It is inevitable clarity will occur as I draw near the Light, as are all the other adjustments to my view. They are just the natural effect of the Awareness of Truth that I have watched draw me here.