The Shattering and Joyful Truth of Non-Duality
I realize some of my recent articles (like last week’s Consciousness, Truth, and Forgiveness) are above a lot of readers’ heads and seem like a lot of theoretical hoo-haw, but please bear with me. These come out of my new experiences and insights so they lay the groundwork for what will come up ahead.
I want to explain more clearly what I wrote last week and discuss its significance.
One thing that was a source of confusion for me on this path was the two ways oneness can be experienced. One is something falling away where there are two or more leaving one. This, in fact, is how I’ve understood non-duality: An illusion of reality falls away and the only Reality (Truth) is left. The other way I’ve experienced oneness is where there seems to be two or more and I find they are one. This can come as a vision and experience where I see the unity of all things or where I feel one with one or more seeming “other”—person or thing.
The latter is my current experience and it is what Bernadette Roberts calls the “unitive state”. This experience was to her “oneness with God”. And it is what in other religious traditions is called Consciousness, the full realization of which is seen as the ultimate goal. For them, this vision and experience of oneness, in its highest form, is Truth.
What I learned in Revelation of Truth, however, is that this experience of the unity of consciousness is a correct experience of consciousness, but it is not Truth. Truth is beyond all consciousness, even corrected consciousness; even the Consciousness of Truth. So, in fact, the falling away of consciousness (illusion), leaving Truth, is what is truly meant by non-duality—at least for me.
Why is this important? Because otherwise I would mistake illusion for Truth. Instead of “Truth” let me use the word “God”, which, for most, has more gravitas. If I believed that Consciousness of God is the same as God, then I would have to believe that those who have attained that Consciousness are God. This is not a mistake I want to make, not even about myself! For one thing, it simply is not what Revelation revealed to me. There is a very important difference between being aware of God as Reality and being God. There is even a very important difference between being one with God and being God.
Truth is a harsh Reality for consciousness, because It wipes out any illusion that consciousness, at any level, is reality. This is why many would be happy to have Higher Consciousness and don’t want to look beyond.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve felt I’m finally coming to grips with what happened to me over the past few years, the last year and a half especially. And this harsh awareness is it. This is not merely theoretical for me. The realization of it in my experience has been shattering. No wonder I was driven to the floor (quite literally) so often when it first broke over me. But I have only been in reaction to this since. I was not ready to see these full implications until recently and I still don’t fully know what they mean for me going forward. But beyond my devastated response is relief. Relief to finally understand the depth of my response to my shift in consciousness. Oh, I was not surprised it wasn’t all joy, because it is quite shocking. But the extent of my grief had been unfathomable to me. It seemed there had to be more than grief over a loss of a way-of-consciousness, because I’m still here after all. And there was more. The flip-side to rising to the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit) is the awareness that illusion is illusion—even the very Awareness to Which I’ve risen.
And further I feel relief because it is always liberating to be released from illusions. There is something in me that rejoices that only the Truth is true and I know that my shock, devastation, and grief—already greatly diminished—will continue to fade. I will come out the other side (I’ve had glimpses), because what could rejoice but the Awareness of Truth to Which I have risen? What is It, after all, but the aspect of consciousness that is of Truth and recognizes Its Own Reality in Truth?