A Whole New Experience of Existence


When the ego had fallen away but I had not recognized this, I had an ongoing experience of detachment and something else, what I came to call the “ghost in the world” experience. I wrote at the time that I felt like Bruce Willis’s character in The Sixth Sense (spoiler alert!): Walking the world as though part of it, not realizing I was dead. Except, unlike his character, I knew I was not the same, although I could not describe how.
A bit over a year and half ago I realized I am Spirit. A couple of months later I felt this again and after that it came over me now and then. I realized this was a more direct experience of the ghost in the world feeling. But there was something to the experience I couldn’t quite grasp. What did it mean to be Spirit? How do you go about being Spirit? The experience faded as I went about dealing with all the other incredible stuff occurring in my mind and life.
            Then something crept quietly into my ongoing awareness: I am immortal. This is what the ghost and Spirit experiences were.
I liked tapping into this awareness, but, although it was ongoing, it stayed pretty much in the background as I dealt with other things rising up and sloughing off in my mind. (Really, the intensity of this time for this mind cannot be adequately conveyed). And then one night I felt strongly it was time to look directly at this. I realized like a thunderclap that I have a whole new experience of existence.
This is why it felt like a death and I grieved for all those months. An entire experience of existence fell away. It really is like I died and went onto Spirit and immortality—only the material world did not fall away. It is still here—yet I feel I am in a whole new world. (The lesson here is that consciousness, existence, and the material world are the same thing—but there are two distinct experiences of them: mortal and Spirit).
It turns out the only thing that “dies” is the experience of mortality.
Until the night I felt it was time to look at my new experience I had been focused on my rise in consciousness, or new way of seeing, which was oneness, or Love. But my central experience was immortality—Spirit. I am Eternal Life Itself. I have no beginning and no ending. I cannot be harmed; I cannot die. What is there to fear?
This is how this shows up: I feel I am a vast Presence—Spirit. I am everywhere. This is the experience of oneness. I have written of this before as being the Author of all that unfolds. The person of Liz—what I have referred to as a character in the unfolding story—is an element of my experience. I do not identify with her. I am not limited to or defined by her. When I have to interact with the world I put Liz forward to do so. And when I am done, she melts back into me and I just go on being.
Before this shift if I ever thought about immortality or what it would mean to be Spirit I could not imagine it from mortal-consciousness and gave up. I never expected to feel those things anyway. My focus was always on peace. I had the expectation of peace growing in my awareness, but as I was.  I did reach a point of significant peace and I assumed, looking ahead, that I would grow even more peaceful and less attached to the world. In other words, I was expecting what I already knew, a quantitative rather than a qualitative shift. Without knowing it, I was expecting to be an immortal mortal. I had no idea of the complete change in the experience of existence that was to come. And I still have not fully realized it, having taken only the first tentative steps into this new world consciously.
A Course in Miracles describes forgiveness in its introduction:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

I used to wonder: How would forgiveness show up for me? Now I know: An awareness of immortality. The awareness I am Spirit.

ACIM is difficult to understand and often challenging to practice. If you want support and guidance from someone who has been there email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment for mentoring. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.

Comments

Jon Winslow said…
Could this be the soul? Guess it does not really matter except your immortal experience.
ACIM Mentor said…
Jo, there is no soul. Just one Spirit. My immortality is your immortality.
Unknown said…
Well said and very inspirational.
I could't describe it better.
But, do you ever ask once guilt is not there and you have reached this enlightened position, what are we here for once this mindset of spirit has taken over. What's next. Why are we still in a body? Etc.
ACIM Mentor said…
Unknown: No. I had those questions when I thought I was a person and was seeking meaning. Now I am the Meaning.

I am not in a "mindset of Spirit" - that describes the spiritualized self I was before the shift. I am Spirit. Nor was I "taken over". What wasn't me fell away. I am also not "still in a body". That is why this is a whole new experience of existence.

I realize a lot of what I write now is like trying to describe color to the blind. I certainly did not understand until I experienced it. The most I can hope for with what I share is that readers take away that this shift can happen. And, when it does, that maybe they will get support and validation for some of their experiences from what I share, as I have done reading about others. There really is no way to be entirely ready for it and it is different for everyone. No two awakenings are exactly alike.
will said…
And life after the bodies death? How does that look from where you are?
ACIM Mentor said…
Will: I remain the same. I am now as I will forever be.
will said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said…
I just read this quote by Rupert Spiro I thought was appropriate.

"From I am something to I am nothing could be called the path to understanding or wisdom, from I am nothing to I am everything could be called the path of Love. But at no time does a separate entity progress along this path."

Beautiful!

will said…
Did my Forgiveness.
Christine said…
Years ago, I read some rare published writings of Mary Baker Eddy...and I remember her saying to some man, who was a long time student of hers, or close associate in CS, "You are Spirit." There are many, many experiences to come to that Point! That was the brochure with the pictures, the Destination, you could say...the realization...
will said…
Christine,

My remark to Liz came from reading some books about people who have gotten to this stage only to crash and burn. You may have heard about some yourself. I'd give info on the books but it was years ago and I don't remember that much about it.
The Forgiveness part was from projecting my thoughts onto Liz. If I come across that book I'll post it.
will said…
Just to clear the air. My comment to Liz was an off the cuff remark with little to no thought behind it. An ego remark that I felt was inappropriate to leave on the blog.
Christine said…
I think it was published in a book about "Recollections of Mary Baker Eddy"...her "You are Spirit" comment was a spontaneous remark as he dismounted his horse, or got off a carriage. Funny, reading my first post here, certain words are capitolized which I didn't do! Anyway...after following Liz's blog, getting all of her books, having like 3 mentoring phone sessions, I feel like I am at the same point, though different: tailored just for my realization-of-Truth, etc. .
sister said…
Liz,

i write again in gratitude for the gift of your posts.

i've yet to experience immortality as anything but a suggestion of something on the periphery of this Christ Presence within and connected to a deepening trust, of which i do have awareness. reading your words again has served to deepen that trust.

forgiveness has been the focus of my practice from the very first day i committed to the Course. it has continued to reappear in yet another and deeper form over and over again, always sweetening my life and amazing me with its gifts. now you share the only thing that dies is the experience of mortality and forgiveness is the awareness of immortality.

holy wow. i have left behind any thoughts of anticipating how my path is going to look and how i am going to perceive myself and the world even tomorrow...

the wonder is sublime.

endless Love, a sister
Anonymous said…
It is remarkable the preoccupation we have with souls, and what happens when we die. It seems that these thoughts are an absolute block to unfolding. A block that has to be overcome to connect with the one Spirit or fall back into repetitive learning.
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