Understanding the Ego Backlash
When I was first a student of A Course in Miracles I noticed a pattern: Whenever I had a positive spiritual experience, anything from a significant insight all the way up to a higher miracle, I would then have a “backlash” from the ego. This showed up as fears, attacks on me, attacks on others, obsessing angrily on a social or political issue, etc. The initial backlash seemed to be in direct proportion to the strength of the spiritual experience. But, for a long while, even one simple insight could lead to weeks of backlash.
Eventually I noticed the pattern and came to accept that the backlash would happen. Simply recognizing the pattern helped mitigate it. In time I learned to not resist at all, because that seemed to lengthen and strengthen it. This shortened the duration and intensity of the backlash considerably.
When I started teaching and coaching Course students I discovered I was not alone. In fact, this pendulum swing is a universal experience—and one of the more uncomfortable aspects of growing aware of God (Truth).
I have not understood this phenomenon until now. The intense journey I have taken through this mind in the past two years since I shifted in consciousness has made me aware of the Power of my own mind. The Source of my Power is Spirit, but my Power is not limited to Spirit. It encompasses my entire mind. Any spiritual experience puts me in touch with my Power and It then extends to anything else in my mind. As long as there is any remnant of the ego in my mind, even just its echo, it will be fueled by my Power.
The ego does not exist for me without my attention, and what is that but my Power? So when I used to resist the ego I was unwittingly empowering it with my attention. This is how my resistance extended its backlash into weeks.
And now I understand why the echo of the ego was so intense for over a year after the shift. I am consciously in touch with my Power now and anything else that rises to conscious awareness is fired up by It as well.
So the strength of an ego backlash is really an affirmation of the Power of your mind. And you can diminish the intensity of an ego eruption by simply letting it happen and letting it go.
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