Understanding the Ego Backlash


When I was first a student of A Course in Miracles I noticed a pattern: Whenever I had a positive spiritual experience, anything from a significant insight all the way up to a higher miracle, I would then have a “backlash” from the ego. This showed up as fears, attacks on me, attacks on others, obsessing angrily on a social or political issue, etc. The initial backlash seemed to be in direct proportion to the strength of the spiritual experience. But, for a long while, even one simple insight could lead to weeks of backlash.
Eventually I noticed the pattern and came to accept that the backlash would happen. Simply recognizing the pattern helped mitigate it. In time I learned to not resist at all, because that seemed to lengthen and strengthen it. This shortened the duration and intensity of the backlash considerably.
When I started teaching and coaching Course students I discovered I was not alone. In fact, this pendulum swing is a universal experience—and one of the more uncomfortable aspects of growing aware of God (Truth).
I have not understood this phenomenon until now. The intense journey I have taken through this mind in the past two years since I shifted in consciousness has made me aware of the Power of my own mind. The Source of my Power is Spirit, but my Power is not limited to Spirit. It encompasses my entire mind. Any spiritual experience puts me in touch with my Power and It then extends to anything else in my mind. As long as there is any remnant of the ego in my mind, even just its echo, it will be fueled by my Power.
The ego does not exist for me without my attention, and what is that but my Power? So when I used to resist the ego I was unwittingly empowering it with my attention. This is how my resistance extended its backlash into weeks.
And now I understand why the echo of the ego was so intense for over a year after the shift. I am consciously in touch with my Power now and anything else that rises to conscious awareness is fired up by It as well.
So the strength of an ego backlash is really an affirmation of the Power of your mind. And you can diminish the intensity of an ego eruption by simply letting it happen and letting it go.

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I accept questions for this blog/newsletter. Send them to Liz@acimmentor.com.

Comments

skye said…
Wow, this really resonated...This really big pendulum swing of the past (5) years especially has me watching for the old magic/miracles, thinking they will stay awhile. I am so aware of your post being the truth of my experience and this existence. It has been magnified since I made a commitment to a practice of silence since September 2018! The floodgates of opposite was opened!
Thank you for this, Liz. I will re-read and re-read and re-read.
This is profound for me...
C. said…
I am curious whether this can be seen differently. What if, upon experiencing this backlash, I said to myself, "What I know is that I do not like the way this feels. Perhaps I have made a wrong decision. If I made it, I can also decide otherwise. I want to decide otherwise and so I choose to let God decide for me."

Of course this requires an awareness that we have decided something detrimental, which may be difficult to pinpoint or even acknowledge. I have used this wrong decision prayer when I didn't know what the decision was, but it seems to be even more effective if I do know what it was.

What do you think?

Anonymous said…
I was understanding that there is no hierarchy amongst miracles..unless you are defining the words higher miracle to mean something that might be said in the illusion not metaphysically?..just a little confusing..
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