Consciousness and the Brain

         Many years ago, I had a client who told me that she took LSD in the 1960s and had an experience of expanded consciousness and oceanic love. What she described sounded like some of my mystical experiences and I was dismayed. Although I had heard stories like this before, I did not stop to think about the implications of them until this woman shared her experience. I had thought my experiences were Spirit (Truth), but what she and others before her shared told me that those experiences were effects in the brain. At first, I experienced this as a loss. But I soon realized I lost nothing. I already knew from direct revelations of God (Reality) that nothing in consciousness is like the Glory of God. And I could still have those desirable experiences in consciousness, as they were obviously induced not only by brain altering occurrences like drugs, strokes, tumors, etc. but as I had experienced them, through an awareness of Spirit. They just were not Spirit in themselves.

Later, I became aware that there were other valued experiences that were merely hormones. For example, oxytocin is released during social encounters, which makes socializing feel good. So, social bonding, with one or in a group, should not be confused with a spiritual experience. Even later, I realized that what I thought of as my spiritual practice was merely managing moods. I was moody in my menstruating years because of hormones and dysthymia, a chronic low-grade depression that runs in my family. And when I was occasionally in an even or good mood, I thought I was spiritually centered. When I was in a bad mood, I would look back for the moment the bad mood began to see if there was some thought or belief I needed to look at. This was useful for managing dysthymia, but it had nothing to do with advancing spiritually.

Of course, ego uses whatever is going on with the person for its goal of asserting itself and consciousness as reality. Ego is the experience of perpetual lack and fear, and it projects the source of fear onto the world to hide itself as its source. Its judgments cause bad moods by enhancing guilt and fear and it exacerbates physiologically induced moods. Ego feeds off anything negative as “proof” that God is not real and that sin is. But ego is also heavily invested in the person feeling good because it identifies with the person. Pursuing feeling good all the time is another way it reinforces the idea that the person is reality.

Eventually, as the shift in consciousness drew close, I began to be aware that it did not matter what Liz was feeling, good or bad. There was a Presence here that was not affected at all by what went on with the person of Liz, not her mind, her body, or her life. As the Presence was apart from the person, it seemed obviously egocentric to be concerned with Liz’s moods or state of mind.

After The Shift, that Presence became the Context I was in. And I was told that it takes quite some time for ego to “wind down.” And, indeed, it has done so dramatically in the past year. Ego is exactly as it always has been, but it is far less powerful. How much of that diminished power are physiological effects receding in the past six years? Was the brain wired a certain way by ego? Certainly that seems part of it. I sometimes wonder if I feel Liz’s brain being re-wired. And as both hormones and ego have declined, I discern mood from ego much more easily. My sense that ego and Spirit have effects on the brain is reinforced by stories of psychics and channelers of Spirit who are advised by Spirit to get a certain amount of rest and to eat a particular diet or take certain supplements so that they don’t “fry” their brains.

Sometimes, the brain is quieter and less reactive in ways that have nothing to do with ego, but with physiology. Clients report this effect from prescription drugs for anxiety or depression or from meditation. So, I do not define ego by traits like anxiety or depression alone. Nor do I define ego by responses like defensiveness, which may just be how ego has wired the brain over time. Ken Wapnick said the signal of your advancement as a student of the Course is not the absence of ego, but how quickly you get over ego. And impending enlightenment is not defined as the absence of ego, but the awareness of a constant, unmoving Presence that is here even when you are asleep. So, you will never find enlightenment in yourself or another by looking at how a person shows up. Spirit is Something Else entirely in consciousness, apart from the person, apart from the brain.

So, I define ego not by moods or reactions alone, which can pass quickly. To me, ego refers to the experience that denies God (Reality) by asserting ego and consciousness (the person, the world) as reality. This shows up as giving meaning, significance, and/or value to the person, its body, its life, its story, and the material world of which it is a part. Spirit is such a different experience of existence from ego that It is not concerned with any of that. When Spirit is here, It is all that is here, and anything else is a meaningless appearance.

This does not mean that it is wrong or bad to be interested in the person, its body, its story, and the world. When that is so for you, it means ego is your consciousness. So be it. If you feel moved to mitigate this, do what the Course says, use that experience to grow your awareness of Spirit and make It your Constant Companion.

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