Do You Feel Worthy of Peace?
Once, I informally mentored a student of the Course who claimed to never have time to do the lessons. She never read the Course on her own and she kept her life packed and busy. She stubbornly refused to work with me or anyone else to find ways to simplify her mornings so she could read and do the lessons. She refused to get up 15 minutes earlier claiming she hardly got the sleep she needed as it was. She would claim her life was all the better for studying the Course (in a study group), but she continued to have a lot of drama and stress. I can only imagine what her life was like before she became a student!
Finally, I suggested to her that she felt unworthy of the peace that would come if she truly put the Course into practice. Students create obstacles to studying the Course for different reasons: Feelings of unworthiness, fear of God, a sense of sacrifice, etc. I based my sense her obstacle was feelings of unworthiness because of other things going on in her life. Primarily, she continued to get into relationships with people who treated her badly. Ironically, when she first became a student she spontaneously healed many past relationships, either by running into people from her past or by their suddenly contacting her after long periods of time. She took these opportunities to make amends or to accept the amends they were making. But, personally and professionally, she continued to attract people who underestimated her worth, just as she did.
The last I heard, not much has fundamentally changed in her life. How about yours? Do you feel worthy of peace? Do you keep yourself so busy you cannot spend time with God – or have to squeeze God-time in? The time you spend meditating and connecting to God is greatly enhanced when the rest of your life is slow and simple. Otherwise, when you try to quiet your mind in order to hear God you are so busy processing everything else it can take you forever to get there – if at all.
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Finally, I suggested to her that she felt unworthy of the peace that would come if she truly put the Course into practice. Students create obstacles to studying the Course for different reasons: Feelings of unworthiness, fear of God, a sense of sacrifice, etc. I based my sense her obstacle was feelings of unworthiness because of other things going on in her life. Primarily, she continued to get into relationships with people who treated her badly. Ironically, when she first became a student she spontaneously healed many past relationships, either by running into people from her past or by their suddenly contacting her after long periods of time. She took these opportunities to make amends or to accept the amends they were making. But, personally and professionally, she continued to attract people who underestimated her worth, just as she did.
The last I heard, not much has fundamentally changed in her life. How about yours? Do you feel worthy of peace? Do you keep yourself so busy you cannot spend time with God – or have to squeeze God-time in? The time you spend meditating and connecting to God is greatly enhanced when the rest of your life is slow and simple. Otherwise, when you try to quiet your mind in order to hear God you are so busy processing everything else it can take you forever to get there – if at all.
www.acimmentor.com
To receive this blog in your email contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com
Comments
i had the above insight into my beliefs/feelings a few days ago. if i nutshell it, the feeling is that 'god' is holding peace and love away from me, unless i a) become good enough, b) sacrificed enough of the personal selfs desires/felt enough pain, c) at least tried hard enough to fit the bill of 'acceptable human'.
god feels so damn arbitrary, inconsistent, like a powerful flawed human. a giant four year old playing with its dolls, some of which it enjoys more than others, who dont get the fun play-time.. holy smoke batman, its like god and i are the same, only god has power over me and im weak, even in my considerable power to *attempt* to run and hide. and the choice is mine.. (takes time to glare at blue velvet curtains) oh the guilt and sorrow! (and the humour! what a convoluted story, i dont think much of the plot-line, and the character development stinks ;) ) oh laugh.. just decided to google convoluted cos i realised i didnt have a clear definition of it in my mind.. this was the google sentence example!
"the film is let down by a convoluted plot in which nothing really happens"
which i know would be encouraging to one no longer trying to unravel purple string!