From Seeking to Having
The role assigned to your own mind in this plan, then, is simply to determine what, other than itself, must change if you are to be saved. According to this insane plan, any perceived source of salvation is acceptable provided that it will not work. This ensures that the fruitless search will continue, for the illusion persists that, although this hope has always failed, there is still grounds for hope in other places and in other things. Another person will yet serve better; another situation will yet offer success.
Such is the ego's plan for your salvation. Surely you can see how it is in strict accord with the ego's basic doctrine, "Seek but do not find." For what could more surely guarantee that you will not find salvation than to channelize all your efforts in searching for it where it is not? (W-71.3-4)
When I was young I enjoyed seeking and learning. I would haunt new-age bookstores seeking for The Answer – despite being a student of the Course. In time I found that nothing resonated Truth for me like the Course and I stopped seeking other teachings. But I would still get what I call “all seeky” – a feeling of being empty, of needing something, of searching.
The ego does not know what it wants to come of the situation. It is aware of what it does not want, but only that. It has no positive goal at all. (T-17.VI.2)
In time I began to recognize that my seeking was not about finding but about avoiding. I had the Answer with me all the time. I would get “all seeky” to avoid turning to the Holy Spirit, despite my positive experiences with the Holy Spirit. Finally I had to accept that the only way I would ever stop seeking was to just be with the Holy Spirit. Amazing how it worked!
Why is it so hard to accept what we already have? Because having everything means you don’t need the ego, which was made to replace everything. To already have means there is no need to seek, to make, to build, to do. It means to stop, to rest, to simply be. It means your life is no longer about what you can make of yourself or for yourself. What would you need the ego for if you recognized you have everything?
Now my life is restful. I have a sense of having arrived – having “found”. The Answer, the Solution, is always with me. I have everything. I am done with the world in the personal sense. It has nothing to offer me. I am not self-driven but Self-guided. Does this mean I have no wants or desires at all? Of course not! I still want a bowl of ice cream or a new book or to renovate my house. But none of these are desires that hold me here. They are temporary and I know that. I do not need them to be fulfilled, to be whole.
Learning hasn’t ended, either. But now I learn the same lesson over and over – forgiveness of the illusion I am separate from God – and I know this is what the lesson is in every situation. I do still get caught up in ego and the world, but not for long. I know I have the means to get out of pain.
You will find Heaven. Everything you seek but this will fall away. (W-131.5)
And when I look back I know that I knew when I was young that this peace was possible, but despite my seeking for it and saying I wanted it, I wasn’t ready for it. I still wanted other things. Perhaps I turned the corner a few years ago when I came to a realization that I posted on a sign in my office at home. It is still there and it says, “You will have peace when peace is all you want.”
>>>>
Receive this bi-weekly blog directly in your email by contacting Liz@acimmentor.com.Now available at www.acimmentor.com: Understanding A Course in Miracles: A Quick Reference for Students.
Such is the ego's plan for your salvation. Surely you can see how it is in strict accord with the ego's basic doctrine, "Seek but do not find." For what could more surely guarantee that you will not find salvation than to channelize all your efforts in searching for it where it is not? (W-71.3-4)
When I was young I enjoyed seeking and learning. I would haunt new-age bookstores seeking for The Answer – despite being a student of the Course. In time I found that nothing resonated Truth for me like the Course and I stopped seeking other teachings. But I would still get what I call “all seeky” – a feeling of being empty, of needing something, of searching.
The ego does not know what it wants to come of the situation. It is aware of what it does not want, but only that. It has no positive goal at all. (T-17.VI.2)
In time I began to recognize that my seeking was not about finding but about avoiding. I had the Answer with me all the time. I would get “all seeky” to avoid turning to the Holy Spirit, despite my positive experiences with the Holy Spirit. Finally I had to accept that the only way I would ever stop seeking was to just be with the Holy Spirit. Amazing how it worked!
Why is it so hard to accept what we already have? Because having everything means you don’t need the ego, which was made to replace everything. To already have means there is no need to seek, to make, to build, to do. It means to stop, to rest, to simply be. It means your life is no longer about what you can make of yourself or for yourself. What would you need the ego for if you recognized you have everything?
Now my life is restful. I have a sense of having arrived – having “found”. The Answer, the Solution, is always with me. I have everything. I am done with the world in the personal sense. It has nothing to offer me. I am not self-driven but Self-guided. Does this mean I have no wants or desires at all? Of course not! I still want a bowl of ice cream or a new book or to renovate my house. But none of these are desires that hold me here. They are temporary and I know that. I do not need them to be fulfilled, to be whole.
Learning hasn’t ended, either. But now I learn the same lesson over and over – forgiveness of the illusion I am separate from God – and I know this is what the lesson is in every situation. I do still get caught up in ego and the world, but not for long. I know I have the means to get out of pain.
You will find Heaven. Everything you seek but this will fall away. (W-131.5)
And when I look back I know that I knew when I was young that this peace was possible, but despite my seeking for it and saying I wanted it, I wasn’t ready for it. I still wanted other things. Perhaps I turned the corner a few years ago when I came to a realization that I posted on a sign in my office at home. It is still there and it says, “You will have peace when peace is all you want.”
>>>>
Receive this bi-weekly blog directly in your email by contacting Liz@acimmentor.com.Now available at www.acimmentor.com: Understanding A Course in Miracles: A Quick Reference for Students.
Comments
I've reached the awareness that I'm just aware and that's the only permanent thing once all things pass. Although I'm aware of it, I'm pretty annoyed about it - very ragey on the inside. I'm experiencing the egos temptation thoughts so that I will seek outside myself but I seem to be unable to take these thoughts seriously anymore therefore I'm just left in my little place of peace. As nice as this state of peace is but still listening to ego and not taking it seriously, I feel at odds with this. I'm attempting to ask you what to do in this situation but it has come to my attention that I can't actually 'do' anything and this I'm not impressed about either. I feel I have no control left and I just 'be'. Did I mention how much I am snorting anger about this? :-) Do we as conciousness just sit back and watch all things pass by? Is that all that is left for us? Feeling very put out. Would love to hear your thoughts, Liz. Thank you. I hope you are well.