Healing the Past Through the Present

There’s a saying in the world that we love others not for who they are but for who we are when we are with them. When I was young I got a glimpse of this when I noticed that when someone left my life that, yes, I missed them and I missed interacting with them, but what really cut deep was the loss of the part of me that was expressed when I was with them. What I was beginning to learn was that there are no “others”, that we are really always encountering ourselves.

Would you recognize a holy encounter if you are merely perceiving it as a meeting with your own past? For you would be meeting no one, and the sharing of salvation, which makes the encounter holy, would be excluded from your sight. The Holy Spirit teaches that you always meet yourself, and the encounter is holy because you are. The ego teaches that you always encounter your past, and because your dreams were not holy, the future cannot be, and the present is without meaning. (T-13.IV.6)

Do you know anyone who is always falling for the “wrong” person – the abuser, the user, the philanderer? They are really falling for the role they play with these people: The victim, the martyr. I was raised to be a “fixer” and have always fallen for women who needed to be “fixed” or who needed someone to take care of them in some way. I was in love with playing that role. I could also have gone the other way and rejected that role completely and fallen in love the role of someone with extremely good boundaries! In either case, I would’ve been reacting to the present from my past.

You are drawn to people who give you an opportunity to play out a role that has value for you. It may be comfortable or uncomfortable, but it’s a role you value. You avoid people when you find yourself falling into a role you don’t want to play anymore. And you “outgrow” a relationship when you no longer want to play the role or roles you play in that relationship. In ego, there is no way to avoid the past.

It is in the reality of "now," without past or future, that the beginning of the appreciation of eternity lies. For only "now" is here, and only "now" presents the opportunities for the holy encounters in which salvation can be found. (T-13.IV.7)

You overcome and heal the past and separation in the present by looking out from the Holy Spirit to the Holy Spirit in every relationship. You can only do this now. When you see your role in all relationships as “extender of God’s Love” you will love “everyone” because you will love who you are wherever you are.

Miracles are both beginnings and endings, and so they alter the temporal order. They are always affirmations of rebirth, which seem to go back but really go forward. They undo the past in the present, and thus release the future. (T-1.I.13)

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Manav Khanna said…
Wonderful. Thank you, Liz

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