Ask: Why do I have sudden thoughts about perceived attacks in the past?

“Let's say I'm going about my business feeling no stress, conflict or pain and suddenly, "out of the blue" comes some disturbing thought about a person/incident from the past which feels like I'm under attack, requiring me to defend and counterattack etc. I haven't seen this person for years, they're not in my life but there they are. While I believe that circumstances and people don't create feelings in us but rather we project our feelings onto them (it's entirely my movie), what I don't get is the suddenness, and absence of current context for these thoughts. Why now?...” – ES

What you describe is when something of which you are not conscious, or not fully conscious, triggers a memory of a person or circumstance. It may be some object your eyes light upon, a snatch of music or another sound, a body memory, or a train of thought that you had not been consciously following. It may also be that if the ego (personal thought system) in your mind feels threatened by your spiritual practice and experiences it recalls people and incidents to distract you. It may use the “rewards” of feeling a victim as soon as you, often unconsciously, glance its way. Sometimes these memories come up because of a chemical change in the body that induces feelings that cause you to recall when you had those feelings before.
So there is a current cause for the thoughts. You are just not consciously aware of it. In any case the cause is not important. What’s important is these memories still evoke a strong emotional reaction in you. This indicates that you still have unconscious beliefs in guilt and fear to undo. So these memories, no matter how they are evoked, give you an opportunity to undo your obstacles to peace.

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Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thanks a lot Liz
Gratitude
Christine said…
I have this, too!! I seem to have an excellent memory(my version of events, I know)...all of a sudden I will have an emotional flashback out from left field...for no apparent reason just like this. Liz, when does it get "better", that is - the ego or personal thought system "feels threatened", Ok, I get that - but does it ever "go away"? I have read in your e-book, "Releasing Guilt", on some page that you said you "turn the ego story on itself" like a comeback or something. When the ego/personal thought system throws something at you (us) is that what you mean? Turn it back on it? (Even though there is no "it" in in Reality?)
ACIM Mentor said…
You continue to hear the ego but you do not listen to it. It reacts, you feel its reaction, you let it go, and you come from your awareness of Truth.

What I meant by turning certain ideas back on the ego is understand that is speaks for itself, not for you. When it is threatened what is says is true for it but not for you. For example, when it tells you that you will be obliterated by God. It's true that God does undo the ego in your mind. But obviously God does not undo you since God is your Being. Practicing this is one way to detach from the ego.
Christine said…
Thank you. I am grateful for your clarity and the way you share it. I'd like to share a little story - happened to me last weekend. I drive way out to visit my horse, and when I leave, I go a certain two lane country road back home. There is never anyone on it, rarely. I always stop on this old metal bridge which is one lane and I go there to "seek Peace" for a couple of seconds - even in the winter, I'll stop on the bridge and roll down my car windows and look and listen to the babbling brook underneath. I did my usual routine, stopped on the bridge, opened my left window, silence, peace, then I opened my right window looked down and there in my face was a huge decaying deer carcass! It was ghoulish in appearance, staring at me with dead eyes and it shocked me...just for an instant, though - I actually did not get swept up in the "meaning" of this appearance (taylor made for me as I was "seeking Peace" in a spot 'outside' of me, of course instead of knowing it is at all times within me.) I then burst into laughter - what a perfect staging of the ego/personal split mind to have set this up (seemingly) - it was like "look - here's your peace! This is what you have to look forward to!" I saw the false set up, I knew anything in this world - even if it appears as being really wonderful, is still unreal...it is deer hunting season - and I thought, Gee, the poor huntsman probably would have been really mad that he missed this deer (shot him, but he ran away and died later). In the "old days" this scene would have floored me and put me into a tearful depression.
will said…
Liz,
You commented last week that "some who come to ACIM have yet to make that first step of being aware of truth, that has to come first." I'm not sure what you mean by 'aware of truth' could you be more specific? Thanks.
will said…
Liz,
Last week in the comments section you said “When you read ACIM always remember it was for Helen Schucman; her mind and where she was in her awareness of Truth. It was specific to her. The rest of us have to generalize her lessons for ourselves. Helen could hear the Voice. She experienced Truth as she wrote ACIM. So she had it to go to, to practice the forgiveness described in ACIM.”
I vehemently disagreed with this at the time. The idea that she scribed 1500 type written pages over a seven year period that was specific to her seemed a little much. It is kind of hard to wrap my head around, but after a week of mulling it over and reading the Forwards again I think your right. Does that mean it was originally intended solely for Helen and Bill, I don’t know. A couple of months ago I bought the Original Edition sometimes referred to as the Hugh Lynn Cayce version and in the forward it says this:

“The Original Edition faithfully reproduces the original transcript of the book that was produced as a result of the collaboration between Schucman and Thetford, whom many believe were involved with each other in the “holy relationship” described in Chapters 17 through 22 of the Text. This edition preserves the original language of the dictation of those chapters, which were addressed to the two collaborators as they worked together to produce the manuscript. Later editing of the manuscript changed the focus of these important chapters and addressed them to a solitary reader, removing the mutuality that is explicit in the original dictation.”

When I read the Text with that change in paradigm it reads different than before. It really does change things.
ACIM Mentor said…
"Aware of the Truth within you", Will, means your internal experience of Truth. The point I was making was that Helen clearly was aware of Truth because she was communicating with Its Spirit in her mind. And ACIM is geared toward growing that awareness. You have to have some awareness of Truth before you can "grow" it.
ACIM Mentor said…
Yes, Will, it does change your reading of ACIM if you read it as first for Helen and Bill and then for the rest of us. It removes a lot of the guilt students experience for not being where ACIM seems to indicate they should be in their understanding. It also clarifies some of the relationships stuff. Most of us do not have a partner who is learning exactly what we're learning. I wish I'd seen this early on. The irony is that guilt made it impossible for me to see this. Yet if I'd seen this I'd have had less guilt!
Anonymous said…
I was on the FACIM website this morning which gave a very good explanation of how the Course came through to Helen. It is the excerpt series Jesus, The Manifestation of the Holy Spirit and specifically on page VIII. Here is the link.

http://www.facim.org/online-learning-aids/excerpt-series/jesus-the-manifestation-of-the-holy-spirit/
will said…
Boy, you've got that right Liz. I've been using Helen as my baseline on where I should be starting the Course; that Jesus is talking to me. The expectations that I have read into it on what was expected of me were/are way beyond my reach. Guilt is exactly the right word.
When the ego read your comment last week it went into the attack mode.
will said…
Anonymous, I have a whole library of Wapnick books and study guides. I read the excerpt series and page you recommended and as usual Wapnick constantly talks out of both sides of his mouth. I have always found him to be a poor teacher but that's just my opinion.
Aleta said…
I have this in my waking life and in my dreams. I'm getting better at letting it go, but the more I seem to be getting better at it, the more intense these feelings seem to arise. I KNOW it is just a distraction, but it is really annoying!!
will said…
Anonymous, it has been a very difficult lesson for me to learn that my 'opinion' is my ego and that I and everyone around me would be grateful if I just kept it to myself LOL.
ACIM Mentor said…
Aleta, these feelings are not just distractions is they persist. They are opportunities to look at the false beliefs that cause the strong feelings. Memories will not cause an emotional charge when you have undone your belief in them.
Anonymous said…
Will, Using everything as a classroom, including opinions, negative or positive, continue to assert that the Course works because I had no reaction, just recognition. Light to Light!
will said…
That's what I love about the comments section you never know what people are going to come up with. Do you always write like that?
Aleta said…
Thanks, Liz!
Anonymous said…
My hope is that I write from truth and with that said, I share this with you all who join and with thanks to Liz for this wonderful meeting place, I offer this poem I wrote this morning.

In gratitude for the gift that you are

Your brilliance shimmers like a Christmas star

The light within, the Heaven of your mind

Is the star that lights in darkness and shines

Look up to the night sky on Christmas Eve

There is where I will join with Truth and be

The first star shining and twinkling bright

A reflection of God's Peace, Love and Light

It will represent the gift we all are

Oneness of the holiest Christmas Star.
will said…
My gift is I motivate people to take action. Well done!
will said…
I have been reading the pamphlet “The Song of Prayer” for about the 10th time. I have never been able to understand the section on Forgiveness and decided to make another run at it. It is describing Forgiveness and what our role in it is when it says: “But to achieve this end you first must learn, before you reach where learning cannot go.” And that sums up our whole interaction with the Course. The only learning we are familiar with is the kind we do in school. We study a subject, we learn it, we can then talk about it, speak it, teach it, with effort we have mastered it. But with the Course that only gets you to the starting line. It is as far as most will ever accomplish with the Course. We forget that all the years of learning and studying only takes us to the point where we can “reach where learning cannot go.” That’s the catch 22 of ACIM.
ACIM Mentor said…
Thank you for the poem, Anonymous.
"The irony is that guilt made it impossible for me to see this. Yet if I'd seen this I'd have had less guilt!" This is so true. I wish I knew what I now "know" because the way I have perceived things has not only intensified the guilt and fear in my mind and "made" me do things that reinforced the guilt and become "more" egoic in a sense.

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