"Dying" and Being Reborn in Spirit


He thought he learned willingness, but now he sees that he does not know what the willingness is for. (T-4.I.A.7)

Nothing prepared this mind for dropping the ego (personal thought system). (http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-ego-has-fallen.html). When it happened I was prepared to handle it, but not for the specific nature of the process I was to go through. That is unique to each mind, because each mind has its own distinct expectations, structures, and habits to undo. The shock and the need for ensuing adjustments, however, do seem universal.

The “life” in this mind before last summer when the Golden Light came to stay is over. It was not really a “life”, but a misidentification. So to the part of this mind that was identified with the self (body/personality) and ego (personal thought system), it is as though it “died”. I was very amused to find at the end of May that I wrote an article at the end of April saying the ego falling away is not frightening. I didn’t remember writing it, although I just had! And boy did I write too soon. I was not yet facing the identifier’s “oh, my god, I’m already dead” shock. When the Love and Light of the Holy relationship came to this mind, the identifier felt it was facing its own death. A death that had already occurred.

It is true that I was prepared to handle this after thirty-four years. My awareness of Truth and detachment from the ego/self meant I was detaching from the part of me that identified with it. So I experienced fear in only part of me. It came nowhere near overwhelming me. But, oy, was it uncomfortable! To look at the fear of fears and undo it, I had to experience it head-on. Again and again and again. Of course, once I realized what was occurring (about three weeks in), it got a lot easier. It’s always helpful to know what you’re facing.

The fear was very distorting. It was also misdirecting. It seemed to point to causes other than the ego’s fear of death, which the identifier took on as its own. But once I caught on, and would remind myself each time the fear arose what was really going on, the distortion diminished and the fear shrunk. It wasn’t my fear, after all.

For this mind there is a distinct dividing line in its relationship to the projected self called “Liz”. The narrative of Liz as its identity ended and does not continue on into the new Life. Liz-as-identity “died”, if you want to call it that, nearly four years ago. This was followed by a “dead zone” of shock for three and a half years. (The zombie years?) And, last August, a new Life, or Perception, was born when the Golden Light came to stay in this mind. This Life is only of the mind. It recognizes that the self called “Liz” is just a projection; an effect. This mind “died” to ego and has been reborn in Spirit/Mind. I cannot express how completely different it is in this mind.

Of course, nothing’s died. An idea—ego—was put aside. There is no death. The Life that has come to illuminate this mind is immortal. And the body is only an expression that truly will, as A Course in Miracles says, be simply put aside one day. If I had a death, it’s already occurred. There is no more death to face.

>>>>> 
A mentor is someone who walks the path ahead of you. If you want to benefit from my experience, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.

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Comments

Deb said…
Thank you Liz. Question, the observer and identifier, could you say the identifier is the part of the mind which is the mind's power of attention that "goes out" and identifies and the observer is the part that observes that power?

I share this quote that seems to flow with your amazing experience. Love, Deb

"Just as a moth never touches the flame that it seems but rather dies in it so the apparently separate self never finds the peace of happiness for which it longs, but rather dissolves in it. This dissolution is the experience of peace and happiness."

Quote by Rupert Spira
Deb said…
Misspelled word in quote. First sentence change seem to seek.
Deb said…
There is something else that I want to express. Following your blog for years now, I wanted to take this opportunity to extend heart felt gratitude to you. You have "blazed the trail" and as one of my mighty guides, is making the trek along the path to peace feel less scary and alone.

So much gratitude, Deb
ACIM Mentor said…
Deb, I will have an article about the identifier in a few weeks (so many articles pouring out of me now!). It was an essential find. Yes, the identifier/observer are the same part of the mind (what I've called the "decision maker" before). They are in the not-Truth part of the splitmind. The identifier is the part that actively identifies with the ego. We begin with it being the larger part of that part of mind. The observer is what that part of mind is capable of being. As you learn to just observe (detach from) the ego, it grows and the identifier "shrinks", as it were. When the ego drops, the observer is left with the identifier to unlearn, which it does the same way--observing to detach. That's what I'm (un)learning now.

Thank you for your gratitude, Deb. You are a teacher for me, too!
Deb said…
Thanks Liz, this is expanding and I look forward to your next articles. Love, Deb
Frank C said…
Thanks for this, Liz... it is really helpful to see/hear/feel an explanation of what seems to be happening NOW in my life (to some extent)... the "dead zone/void" can be so depressing and daunting without some kind of roadmap to help ease the emptiness/loneliness... the thought that keeps recurring to me, and helping me to avoid being misled by the "ego story" (scare tactics) is from ACIM (my words): Knowing Truth will be simple and easy when it is all you want because it is the TRUTH.

I'm seeing that the experience of Truth is never what the ego tells me it will look/feel like, so I need to continually let go of ALL I think I KNOW about IT!!
nicci said…
Liz,
i am experiencing two aspects of mind: me (and all that isn't me), and an expansive awareness. as a result of practicing ACIM, me, which has been in the foreground, is increasingly moving into the background, and awareness is coming into the foreground. this awareness state is the result of an expanded experiencing of the Holy Instant with the Holy Spirit and extending Love through Him. i am wondering if this experience is a parallel of the observer and identifier you speak of? looking forward to your coming posts.

ever grateful, nicci
EC said…
Where I Am Now. Present and aware of the Truth, and also dealing with the application of advanced forgiveness as the Course describes; knowing that there is no world, so thus there is also no body and as such there is no death. You cannot have death if there is nothing really there to die!

Sometimes I feel like I'm at the point of enlightenment or ascension, and then this mind vacillates and something else from sleeping mind projects and appears to be here, other than the Light. Then this mind has to go through the series of applying the truth to the situation, and stay in the awareness of truth while facing the illusion of whatever is being projected--no matter how intense the feeling is that shows up in that moment. I have to choose on the spot, and so I do. This is not easy but it is well worth it to put into practice. I find that it has a profound effect on advancing this mind to Truth.

(And sometimes this mind thinks it is nuts.)

It is when articles like this come into my email inbox that I revel in delight and understand I am not the only one going through this process. there are just different levels of the process, and varying degrees of it. I have no idea what level or degree I am working with. All I know is that I keep choosing the Truth and this seems to be enopugh for the Holy Spirit to work with.

If I were to describe to anyone who is not working with the Course what is happening in my Life, I would likely not hear from them again.

So I send my deepest heartfelt gratitude to you Liz and everyone here for all the effort in choosing the Truth and sticking with it--no matter what. It DOES get easier. And sometimes things seem shaky even when you've experienced peace for awhile, but that's just more of the process of letting go of not-truth. The Holy Spirit, I have found, deems when the mind is ready to handle more of the undoing. This is definitely my experience of undoing as well.

I usually never comment on articles, but today I felt very very compelled to do so.

Thank you for listening.

In the Light with Miracles and Love,
Eve
nicci said…
thank you Eve. this was helpful for me. endless L, n
will said…
Liz,
In reading (T-19.IV(A).5:6-11 page409) it seems to be saying that the Holy Relationship that is between two people is only the starting point for the process of extending it to everyone. Yes?
will said…
Liz,
As I keep re reading these sentences (p.409):

“His home is in your holy relationship. Do not attempt to stand between Him and His holy purpose, for it is yours. But let Him quietly extend the miracle of your relationship to everyone contained in it as it was given.”

It seems to be a reminder to not hold the individual holy relationship too close. It is only the starting point.
ACIM Mentor said…
Nicci, the identifier would be the feeling of "me" if it is identified with the ego and self (body/personality). The observer is detached from the ego and the self. It allows the ego and self without judgment and it watches the self's story unfold without judgment. I'm not sure how this fits into what you described.
ACIM Mentor said…
Will, yes. The extension of Love is an automatic part of the Holy relationship. It takes no thought. In both HR experiences I had no illusion the Love came from the other or us together. I also had no illusion that It was limited to us. The HR is an experience of Limitless Love. It is everywhere, always.

I will have articles about it in the coming weeks.
will said…
I am very interested in what you are going through so when I read it, it was referring to what you said in your earlier blog that "more will be reveled" kind of thing. Kind of a window into what is coming.
will said…
I expect your answer to my comment answered questions that were going through a lot of peoples minds. Well done.
ACIM Mentor said…
Preview of coming attractions, Will? Slipstream, Holy relationship, the identifier, rising in consciousness. So far.
will said…
Ha!
ACIM Mentor said…
Happy to oblige, Will.
will said…
Talk about getting the correct perspective! I laughed all the way to Wal Mart.
George Fordham said…
I find myself judging you, Liz, you appear to shy away from using symbols like the terms, Father, Son, Him ete.,my judging keeps the miracles away. I realize where this is coming from and I know I need to take it to the Holy Spirit. Love to all , George.
Frank C said…
this is not really a comment, but rather a "heads up" that for me, this blog will not forward comments to my email address unless I leave a comment and check off "follow-up", even though I have indicated in my settings that I want to see all comments... anyone else have this problem?
ACIM Mentor said…
Frank, I had the same problem. Didn't know there were comments until I was told! I went back to settings, unclicked, clicked again, and now they're back in my email. Seemed to have to be reset.
Frank C said…
ok... thanks.. i'll check it out!

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