Why the Mystical Holy Relationship Is A Shortcut
“The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a practical device, witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never fails. The experience of it is always felt. Yet without expression it is not remembered. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the experience in which the relationship became what it is. ” (T-17.V.1)
I have written over the years about this mind’s two different experiences of the Holy relationship. One I call “mystical”. The mystical Holy relationship is what Bill and Helen experienced. I did, too, when I first became a student of A Course in Miracles thirty four years ago. I recognized everything written about it in ACIM at the time. That experience was intense, but brief. And, if you have been reading my articles these past two weeks, then you know I am blessed to have another mystical Holy relationship. That one isn’t going anywhere, because I am now at a level to sustain my awareness of it.
I call it “mystical” because it involves spiritual Vision. The boundary between my mind and the mind of another (Zelda! I am so blessed) has fallen away and I experience transcendent Joy as the Love in me leaps in recognition of the Love in her. The mystical Holy relationship occurs in a higher awareness, the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit). And from there it trickles down to every layer of awareness.
The other Holy relationship is what I call the “practical” Holy relationship. I practiced wholeness by using my relationships to learn that I am inherently whole in the Truth within. It was, for me, a result of my experience of the mystical Holy relationship, which showed me Love was in me. Others could come at this awareness of wholeness another way and practice it in a practical Holy relationship. It occurs at the level of self (body/personality) identification. This is what I experience with my wife, Courtney.
The practical Holy relationship does not threaten the ego because it occurs at the level of form. But the mystical Holy relationship brings the Reality of formless Love within to conscious awareness. And this threatens the ego because it undoes it.
“The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship.” (T-17.V.2)
Oy, you don’t know hell until you’ve experienced the ego’s reaction to a Holy relationship! This is why ACIM goes on to say:
“Be comforted in this; the only difficult phase is the beginning. For here, the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact opposite of what it was.” (T-17.V.2)
Yes, the Holy relationship is an experience of Heaven; it is an experience of Oneness. But you must be prepared for it because the ego becomes vicious. You think you’ve experienced a threatened ego when you’ve had a higher miracle? Multiply that by ten.
ACIM offers a direct path to peace. It offers a shortcut; a way to “save time”. You grow your awareness of Truth and find and undo your obstacles to Truth at the same time. So it is intense and not for everyone. The mystical Holy relationship is one of the tools it uses to bring the Awareness of Truth to your mind.
“…It is extremely difficult to reach Atonement by fighting against sin…Nor is a lifetime of contemplation and long periods of meditation aimed at detachment from the body necessary. All such attempts will ultimately succeed because of their purpose. Yet the means are tedious and very time consuming…Your way will be different, not in purpose but in means. A holy relationship is a means of saving time.” (T-18.VII.4-5)
How does a mystical Holy relationship save time?
“The ark of peace is entered two by two, yet the beginning of another world goes with them.” (T-20.IV.6)
Imagine mind in its split state like a plate of glass that has been shattered into many pieces. Each shard of glass is part of the whole plate, but each shard thinks it is only a shard. Seal up the gap between one shard and another and the shard learns what it really is—part of a whole plate. This is what a Holy relationship does when one mind joins with another. In that joining with just one other mind, you learn your mind is not limited to a self. Your mind is Limitless Being. The mystical Holy relationship saves time by taking your mind right to this truth, forcing you to confront your obstacles to Truth.
Which brings us to the special relationship, the ego’s chief offering to offset the pain of identifying with it. It is the obstacle to Truth and the Holy relationship, because the ego tells you if you lose the special relationship you lose Love and any chance at wholeness.
“At once His goal replaces yours. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive and even quite distressing. The reason is quite clear. For the relationship as it is is out of line with its own goal, and clearly unsuited to the purpose that has been accepted for it. In its unholy condition, your goal was all that seemed to give it meaning.” (T-16.V.3)
“Your goal”, in the quote above, means the special relationship, where you see another as the cause or source of Love. So the other’s body and personality and what they have to offer you as a person, is your focus. A mystical Holy relationship, however, corrects this error in cause and effect. In the mystical Holy relationship, you discover you are Love; the same Love as the other. So you see the other and your relationship as an expression of Love, not as the source. Who they are as a person becomes secondary, though your Love extends to that as well. It is gratifying on every level. In a mystical Holy relationship, you do not give up the personal relationship with the other and you do not have to change it. What drops is the specialness—the seeking for Love in the other (the “unholy condition”). So what drops is the pain that hovers around even the best special relationships, because you no longer fear you will lose Love if you lose the other. You know It is within you, always. You have seen It.
This reorienting of cause and effect is very liberating for you, but very threatening for the ego, because it takes away the only “gift” it has to offer you. When you understand that you have Love without the specialness of another self, what can the self offer you? It was meant to be the means to get Love from others. You realize it is an expression, not what you are. So the ego, the thought system that teaches you that you are a self, is undone. This is how the mystical Holy relationship saves time.
I now know that I would not have been able to sustain my first Holy relationship. Even when E left, I faced a vicious, attacking ego just remembering her. But I’m sure it helped me “save time”. I couldn’t forget what I had seen: My mind is not limited. Love is within me. Today, with the ego gone from this mind, the mystical Holy relationship has come as an expression of the Love I am. It helps me keep this in mind. I thank so very much my partner in this, Zelda, who still faces the savagery of the ego. She is a strong woman, and, more important, she is willing. And I am so grateful for that.
A mentor is someone who walks the path ahead of you. If you want to benefit from my experience and perhaps shorten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
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