The Stranger Within


The first time I saw her was last August when the Golden Light came into my mind and my first novel came through. There were only brief flashes of her. She was a dynamic, confident, and lighthearted personality. When she was around, the body stood straight and the muscles in its face relaxed. On one occasion, one of her sisters looked curiously at her when she responded to something with uncharacteristic lighthearted wit. “Oh, there she is,” I thought. “Even her sister doesn’t recognize her.”

Suddenly, there was a Stranger within animating the self this mind projects. Since the Holy relationship came in April and this mind went through huge shifts in May and June, this new Animator emerges more and more.

Over the years, when I was identified with the self, I experienced disorienting changes through personal growth and shifts in self-concepts that had me wondering briefly, “Who am I?” These were changes I felt were in me in my self-identification. But this time, I did not recognize at all What was acting through the self. It wasn’t a different version of me. I was a passive observer; the consciousness between the self and the new Animator.

The former animator, the ego, which told this mind to identify with the self, is gone. So this mind no longer has any sense of “ownership” of the self.  It observes the self and lets its feelings come and go. And it observes the new Animator—Spirit—living through the self.

Where ego lived through the self for fulfillment, Spirit mostly lets the self flow in the unfolding story of the universe of form. As a manifestation now of the Undoing, her part is a Love story all around. Sometimes, like when she is teaching, formally or informally, Spirit is active in her rather than passive.

This emerging Animator is fascinating to watch. Oh, it is lovely to not have the burden of maintaining an identity, if a little bewildering to a mind used to it. This mind is learning how to not identify with the self. It is learning how to not-do as a Stranger directs the self’s doing. My suspicion is this is a transitional experience for a mind used to separation and parsing itself into parts. Just as my inner and outer life now have no boundary, eventually the self, the consciousness now acting as observer, and Spirit will become integrated into one thing.

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A mentor is someone who walks the path ahead of you. If you want to benefit from my experience and perhaps shorten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.

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Comments

Deb said…
Fascinating!
hannah said…
agreed, fascinating! the whole thing.. but that last paragraph.. that last sentence! awesome xx
Frank C said…
Yes, definitely fascinating... and, mind blowing... ooopppsss, there goes the rest of what used to be me!! LOL

And, the last sentence hit me, too: "Just as my inner and outer life now have no boundary, eventually the self, the consciousness now acting as observer, and Spirit will become integrated into one thing."... who, or what, will be left to write this blog when this happens? Will there be enough "me" left to even care about such trivial things?
ACIM Mentor said…
Frank, there will there will still be much to teach anyone who's willing to learn. In fact, I find it more enjoyable to teach/mentor now. So free and easy. Just Love.
JontheArtist said…
Liz, I'm confused a bit when you brought in the "Undoing". That's the first phase of Trust in the teachers manual and I believe you are way beyond that.
ACIM Mentor said…
Jon, the Undoing (uppercase first letter) is how I refer to the Atonement. Think it's more apt and less religiously charged.
Unknown said…
Liz, I'm particularly enjoying your last few letters, and this account is redolent of 'Spirit'guides, as seen in the highest form of spiritualism. The Stranger within - who, yet, is strangely familiar to us.
will said…
"Oh, there she is," I thought. "Even her sister doesn't recognize her."
will said…
"Oh, there she is," I thought. "Even her sister doesn't recognize her." (The Observer)
will said…
These two sentences can be our way of practicing the Course. The Observer is looking at Liz and her sister. For us, this is the stepping back from the ego that Jesus encourages us to practice all the time.
laurie said…
Liz,

Do you have any feeling of personal control about when and where 'she' shows up to animate the body, or is it even a surprise to 'you' the Observer?
ACIM Mentor said…
Laurie, in the beginning it was a surprise. At no point can I say I "control" the Animator. But It is What animates the self when I am centered. So I can choose to get back to Center and the Animator is automatically there.
will said…
Eckhart Tolle is an excellent teacher of getting in touch with the Observer. I have taken a few lines from one of his books. There is too much in the book to write more than I have. Think of it as a preview. It is very good stuff for students.

THE POWER OF NOW; A guide to spiritual enlightenment
Eckart Tolle; Namaste Publishing, copyright 1999

FREEING YOURSELF FROM YOUR MIND
What exactly do you mean by “watching the thinker”? (Observer)

Virtually everyone hears a voice, or several voices, in their head all the time: the involuntary thought processes that you don’t realize you have the power to stop.
The voice comments, speculates, judges, compares, complains, likes, dislikes, and so on. It may be imagining things going wrong and negative outcomes; this is called worry.

The good news is that you can free yourself from your mind. You can take the first step right now. Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. This is what I call watching the thinker.

Listen to it impartially. Do not judge or condemn what you hear. You will soon realize: there is the voice, and here I am listening to it, watching it. This “I am” realization, this sense of our own presence, is not a thought. It arises from beyond the mind. So when you listen to a thought you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought (Observer).
will said…
I Take The Observer Out for Some Fresh Air

It is 8:30pm and I'm hungry. I head out to get some chicken for dinner. The stereo is cranked up all the way with the pop symphony by the Walker Brothers, The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore. I step back and watch Will driving, the music, the mountains all around. I'm in the Present. I'm a happy learner!

Wow. I can have No Doubt. I'm living in the Slip Stream!
will said…
The Slipstream (or two)

Chapter Six is a Real teaching chapter. A reframing chapter. It uses the crucifixion as a teaching tool. Intellectually I previously had a sense of what Jesus was saying about the crucifixion, but I could never internalize it. Jesus’s story in this chapter is part of his Slipstream and from the chapter we can feel his urgency that we understand and then become what he is teaching. Nonetheless it has always been only as I perceived it, which was with some doubt.

Enter our new slipstream. This one is so compelling because we know the person, the source of the slipstream. Inside this stream I found that there was change without my awareness. For instance. This week’s blog is part of a farewell to the body. The continued emergence of the Animator replacing the ego. Reading this, given (we) know the source of this slipstream, our understanding is transformed as we read with Jesus about the Crucifixion. We understand with a new clarity, with a new ability to internalize what he is saying. The chapter blooms and spreads out to cover our entire life here.
ACIM Mentor said…
Will, my experience is not a farewell to the body. Instead, the boundary between the mind and body has fallen away. The way that the boundaries between my inner life and my outer life and between my Higher life and my lower life are gone. It's all one thing now. There will be more on this in the coming weeks.
will said…
I was not thinking in terms of a literal farewell, but with a farewell to the ego identity with the body.
will said…
My understanding of Chapter Five is Jesus helping us to understand the crucifixion by taking the horror out of it. He is saying, for him, there was no body identification so he couldn't have been hurt. A very difficult thing to grasp beyond the intellectual. Your blog (to me) talking of the same thing, the beginning of the transformation. You are moving towards the spiritual state of Jesus which is what he has told us from the beginning is there for us if we follow his course. Ego leaving, Holy Spirit entering....
hannah said…
hmm.. liz and will. this got me thinking about the word boundary and what it means. to me it represents both separating out and defining, or making other-than-one real. and deeper than that, or below that, its like.. the judgement that chooses or sees or believes in the whole splitting up into definite separate parts as real. and so .. that would mean a boundary was a judgement. hmm.. that was all clear a minute ago :D

i wonder, liz'beth.. it was like one clear and very simple View in that second. like.. when i read 'one thing' what i saw was freedom from judgement. freedom from boundaries. or maybe.. it would be more accurate to say it was freedom in One judgement. blech, words! but thank you.. it was Golden!
will said…
H. I was thinking of 'boundaries' in terms of definition. Boundaries define a term so it can be taught, so it can be understood.
ACIM Mentor said…
Will, my understanding has always been that Jesus felt physical pain but understood it meant nothing. He didn't suffer in the psychological sense. (Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional).

I suspect that I'm at the beginning of that transformation. But, so far, it ain't been what I expected! Who knows what's down the road? Right now what's occurred is the correction of cause and effect. Further musings on this down the road. This week's article will address a reader's question. But next week I will be back on this topic.
will said…
I think you are right about the pain. "The Message of the Crucifixion" in Chapter Six is very interesting in trying to pull it apart and see what Jesus is actually saying. Jesus says, " Your resurrection is your reawakening. I am the model for rebirth.. " reawakening vs rebirth.
will said…
For fun: The Course uses the term dissociation to explain the dream. Try looking up 'fugue state.'
will said…
If you're like me, I often wonder why doesn't the Holy Spirit just touch us on the forehead and zap, we are enlightened. There is the very lame reason that it would be too much of a shock:) I would say, "Hey, I'll take the shock over this 20+ years of work. Go ahead and beam me up Scotty"!

In the fugue state they talk about the trauma of suddenly coming out of the fugue and finding yourself in a state of not recognizing yourself or your situation. There isn't a time line, you're just suddenly back in your original identity not knowing what is going on.
ACIM Mentor said…
Will, I went into shock for four years because, after much preparation, I could handle that level of shock. If you could handle it, it would happen. No one is holding you back. You will accept it when you are ready to accept it. You are not separate from the Holy Spirit. IT IS YOU. And It is taking very good care of you.

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