Life As Spirit (so far)
Whenever I express to others a dramatic shift in my experience I am asked to describe how life is different from the way it was before the shift. Of course I have been asked this since I have shared with others that this mind has attained the ongoing awareness that I am Spirit.
Life goes on as usual for the self (body/personality) on the outside. Well, as usual for living in the countryside in south Western Australia, which is wholly unlike the life I lived in a desert city in the southwestern US just a few weeks ago! But I mean the self appears as usual like a person, doing what people normally do every day, and I am experienced as a person by others.
The dramatic difference is within. I live so wholly in the moment. I call this experience Hereness. (It could also be called the “Spaciousness” I have referred to before. Or just being wholly present, centered, or in Presence). I am like an island in the stream of time, around which time flows. I am often staring out windows or sitting outside looking at the garden. Well hell, there isn’t a single bad view here, who wouldn’t? But often I’m not thinking about anything. I am simply being. What else is there to do, really? Until I am moved to think about something or do something with the self. And then I do all the usual thinking and doing, as needed.
I don’t ask for the right action or the right time to take action. I just know what and when. I don’t concern myself with the thoughts being “good” or “right” or whatever. Judgment isn’t needed, not even on judgments.
Sometimes the very recent past, when I dismantled an entire life to make room for this new one, will surface with all the feelings of bafflement and grief and resistance one would expect. But each time the feelings are milder and I have learned to let them come up and go by without doing anything with them. They come up because they are still here in this mind, that’s all. They pass.
Attachments fall away as they need to. Most of the time I didn’t even know they were there until I watch them fall.
It used to be I saw dark thoughts as blocking my awareness of Truth, like clouds before the sun. Truth was still there, but I was not aware of It. But now I see it from the other side. When dark thoughts roll around, they do no block my awareness of Truth, but rather the extension of Truth (Love) through me. So they limit my awareness of Truth for a short time, but that is all. No biggie.
I experience others as passing, too. I am with them for the time I am with them, but do not give them any further thought, unless there is some reason to do so. Then that happens naturally and spontaneously, too.
I find it easy to just be quiet with others. Many thoughts of things to say will cross my mind, but most go unspoken. Then I find the self speaking and I just watch and listen. That moment in time will pass, too, after all.
In other words, this mind is a lot quieter.
I feel ethereal instead of concrete. I am everywhere, always, and yet nowhere specific. I am the grass, the trees, that person, this person, that house, that road, etc. But I am all of them at once.
I am you and you are me. But I do not go around thinking “I am you and you are me.” I just know this.
I also do not go around thinking “I am Spirit.” I just know that, too. I act as a person, but I know I am not that. I wear the person lightly.
I often feel “disappeared”, which is really another way I experience the expansion of my awareness to Limitless Being. I feel “disappeared” because boundaries are gone.
I feel I cannot have a presence for others; I must be like empty space. But Hannah tells me I do, because the self still expresses thoughts and opinions and stories. These are insignificant and passing to me. However, I understand that to others they are real and meaningful. They still see a body, a personality, a person, and she is concrete to them because they project their own seemingly-concrete “reality” onto her.
Spacetime collapsed for me at that moment I called The Break, when in May I felt hurled upward in consciousness and outward toward Australia. The future seemed present and more real to me than what was actually manifestly present. I am in that future now. What was future then continues to unfold in the present. What I still see in the future unfolds from the present.
I feel the personality called “Liz” being reworked and remolded. She used to be, for this mind, an expression of ego (personal thought system). But that version of her passed away when the ego fell away. Now she is an expression of Spirit, and that is transforming her. She is in a process I watch.
If you want to benefit from my experience and lighten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment for mentoring. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
NEW BOOK! "The ACIM Mentor Articles, Volume 2" is now available on Kindle and in paperback at www.amazon.com. It includes these blogs from 2010 thru 2014.