Ask: I am very depressed. Can you help me endure?


263) “… I am feeling very depressed right now about lack of money and about losing my job, and about trying to just get by.  I am taking an anti-depressant medicine for years now, which has helped.  Now I feel like I don’t feel that I want to go on.  I am trying to bring my ego issues to Jesus/Holy Spirit to look at them with Truth. But my money worries pop up.  Just now I realized that another pipe has broken and I am at my wit’s end.
…I see these passages about depression (copied below) and I am in despair.  What is the Text really saying about depression?  I don’t have any hope that I can find my way out. What is the Course saying about depression when it feels real and painful to me like a bad long term illness?  I wonder if ending my life now in this horrible dead-end world would be a solution. Here are passages that confuse me if Jesus/Holy Spirit wants me to look beyond this 3D world.  My meditation focus words have been lately:  “God is. Nothing else is.”  If depression is nothing, am I a confused Course student?  Am I  to just endure and wait for the depression to go away someday?  Can you help me endure?…

T-4.IV.3.  ‘When you are sad, know this need not be. Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something you want and do not have. Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions, and then decide otherwise.’
T-8.VII.1.  ‘When you equate yourself with a body you will always experience depression.’ 
T-8.VII.8.  ‘There is nothing so frustrating to a learner as a curriculum he cannot learn. His sense of adequacy suffers, and he must become depressed. Being faced with an impossible learning situation is the most depressing thing in the world. In fact, it is ultimately why the world itself is depressing. The Holy Spirit's curriculum is never depressing, because it is a curriculum of joy. Whenever the reaction to learning is depression, it is because the true goal of the curriculum has been lost sight of.’
T-8.VII.13.  ‘The opposite of joy is depression. When your learning promotes depression instead of joy, you cannot be listening to God's joyous Teacher and learning His lessons.’” – SS (May 17, 2019)
            If you are truly feeling suicidal, please call (in the US) 1-800-suicide, go to your local emergency room, or see a mental health professional. Depression is a pernicious, self-perpetuating disease. There is always a way out of it. Do not let it convince you otherwise.
You are not being asked by the Holy Spirit (Awareness of Truth in your mind) to endure. Here’s another quote from A Course in Miracles:

“God has no secrets. He does not lead you through a world of misery, waiting to tell you, at the journey's end, why He did this to you.” (T-22.I.3)

All the quotes you offered were for someone experiencing a depression that did not have a brain chemical origin. They all say the same thing: When you are depressed you are listening to the ego (personal thought system).
Some people have a genetic propensity to depression. It runs in their family and they may need medication throughout their life to deal with it. Others have a situational depression that passes on its own, through talk-therapy, or techniques learned through self-help programs (like ACIM, 12-steps, meditation, etc). Sometimes, however, a situational depression leads to chemical changes in one’s brain and they need to be on medication for a short while. In any case, whatever its source, depression leads to dark thoughts, which leads to more depression, which leads to more dark thoughts, and on and on. You want to work on your thinking (therapy; self-help) to get the most out of any antidepressant medication.
            You say you have been on antidepressants and they have helped, but it sounds like you are not being helped by them now. You should probably consult with your prescribing doctor and therapist.
            It is not contradictory to be an ACIM student and to take medication and to go to a traditional therapist. The Holy Spirit helps us with our worldly problems through worldly sources. Once your brain is back in balance, you will be better able to understand and apply the lessons and concepts in ACIM.

>>>> 
I mentor students of ACIM from a practical, how-life-in-the-world-really-is perspective.
If you want to benefit from my experience and lighten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment for mentoring. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.

Comments

will said…
I have been on anti depressants for a long time too. Your situation is familiar to me. When depression gets the upper hand it backs you into a corner. You become complacent, frustrated and hopeless. You know the drill. Your meds aren't working. You already know that. Call the doctor and get an appointment today. Go to the hospital if you have to. And put that damn Text down before it buries you.
will said…

Extension Via Joel Goldsmith

Wrote down a message,
Quieted the mind to open the conduit for the Holy Spirit,
Message went out via Holy Spirit.
My part is finished. Where it goes and what happens is not my concern.
will said…

I leave the computer and walk down the hall,
I say to Jesus "I am one of Your teachers. This is what I do."
I lay down for my afternoon nap.
Anonymous said…
To the person who had the original question about depression, I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. Thanks for asking the question. I really relate to what you wrote and am grateful for you asking the question. I also struggle with depression and financial lack. I'm hoping you'll find the wherewithal to see if any other meds or treatment type might help. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
p.s.
It's not exactly an answer to your situation but here they also discuss ACIM and depression if you scroll down: https://understandacim.com/2016/01/16/acim-text-reading-workbook-lesson-for-january-16/
will said…
The thing about mental illness is, it puts a kind of filter in front of you so everything coming in is distorted by it. One time my anti depressants stopped working and I got very involved in trying to figure out the spiritual answer was to my depression. After awhile my head just felt like it was going to explode with the complexity of what I was reading. But I felt driven to find the answer and it just got worse and worse. Confusion, anxiety, anger...

When your meds stop working things like relationships, spirituality, learning, just need to be put on hold. Trying to work through relationship issues while your in the middle of depression or some other kind of illness is just a no win situation. Your mind keeps saying you can do it you can do it... Go watch a sitcom.
Anonymous said…
Oh yes, that is so true as to how distorted those thoughts can be and how real they seem. I've had depression issues most of my life. But the scope of that depression has been magnified as just one of many symptoms of withdrawals from meds used for anxiety. It is a daily struggle to deal with those "intrusive thoughts" that can be quite disturbing and debilitating. My cognitive function is impaired and studying material such as the Course can be a daunting task so I don't force it. Trying to meditate can also be virtually impossible, trying to stay focused. Unfortunately, there is no counteractive meds and in protracted states, it can go on for several years. I am approaching 3 years off and it just takes time for the brain to heal. Had I known ahead of time, I'd not gotten involved!
4a1000years said…
Dear depressed, I've been depressed since about 10yo & I tried self medicating opiates to get some peace &after 35 years of that, which created it's own living hell, I'm 60yo h STILL damn well depressed. It breaks my heart to read of the pain you are on, & contemplating leaving this place. I been seriously considering that but I don't want to die angry, sad & frustrated. One thing I didn't know was that others found it impossible to meditate or read acim when the black dog has control of my life. I havent been able to read daily acim for 3 weeks. Meditation is way out of the question. I signed up for Eckhart Tolle learning online thingy & do u think I could even concenetrate for a hour, I have post manapausal plus add & ptsd.i do NOT want to own these miseries, I too, just SONT know how 2rise above them. If you find a way out of this thought Activity misery, please let me know x
4a1000years said…
The hard thing I find is, if I try reading an article by Liz or by David Hoffmeister, it's going into my brain like abig jumble of words, but nothing is making any sense. That's why o couldn't get theu acim LAST year! I got to lesson 50ish, where the review was & I knew it wasn't soaking in so I gave up & this year, iv Gorton to lesson 36, where it says my holiness is part of God or something like that, & I don't FEEL very holy AT ALL LOL! it's not funny tho, is it. Also, it's easy to say, change your meds. They never helped me at all. All they did was put weight on me & the stronger the dose, the more of a zombie state I went to. Counselling didn't help. I been wondering if going to the farm where David HOFFMEISTER is might help, or going to south America & trying the IBOGAINE weekly shaman directed treatment. I only know I need something. I can't wash or clean my home. I don't even see a point in washing myself ATM. How bad is that! But please don't give up. It's up to us to try to not let our thoughts control the situation. Like Sailor Bob Adamson says:
"If you stop the thoughts, is your situation bad at all?"
(I imagine it probably isn't so bad & it's our continued, progressive bad situations like bills not paid, power getting cut off, no money to employ Liz to mentor us, dog sick, brother dying, teeth falling out etc etc << all our thoughts compound. Yea,that's the word I was looking for: compound! (compounding chaos)!
Stay here with us now please & we can help each other. After all, we are all 'The One' aren't we! (I wish my ELECTRICITY company would believe that lol)
Try to be kind to yourself.💐
From someone who truly knows ur pain 💐
ACIM Mentor said…
4a1000years, all I can suggest is you keep looking for a way out of your debilitating depression. An answer is there. Ask for it and stay open and it will show up.
Erich said…
It seems I've got all 3 origins or sources of depression: Brain Chemistry, Genetic Propensity and Situational or Environmental - which I suspect has become hardwired by now. But perhaps a 4th source in my case - Rx meds or illicit drugs. The Rx would be Benzodiazepines (Clonazepam) and certain other meds that lead to addictions such as the Opioids. Have gotten off all those meds - Benzos being the most recent of 38 months now. Also, off antidepressants about 5 weeks. The Benzos are not near well enough known of how rough going are the withdrawals - and in some cases, such as mine - protracted - indefinitely. There could well be permanent damage to the CNS - studies indicate but not yet confirmed. In any case it really has been a nightmare - no end in sight as of yet. The illicit drugs such as Methamphetamines seemed to have cause permanent psychological damage - having only done those about 6 times. Fortunately, I never got into alcohol - only but on occasion a single can of beer. Honestly, I can see no way out of that sort of depression.

When I think of dying, it brings a sense of relief - oddly enough. But what has been the worst source of depression - as far as I can see of guilt. That idea is no more evident than when I think to myself - "I am a coward". It's the most pervasive idea I lived with an entire lifetime - now at age 61. Even when I interpret the Course - the idea becomes "you who have yet to face fear will suffer the consequences of guilt until you have the courage to face up" There are many days I bury my face in my hands in mental anguish. I honestly believe I will die a coward by my own hand. Yet I believe the "point of reckoning" will haunt me beyond the grave. God help me . . .
ACIM Mentor said…
Erich, you are more than the body and its depression and you can get in touch with that. The Truth in you is wholly untouched by the personal experience. That is why guilt is never justified. I know you have tried just about every treatment over the years. There is always hope they will come up with something new.
Elayna said…
Hi Erich,

I am 47 and can relate to everything you’ve said about depression. I had both my own brain chemistry bing out of whack along with chemical, genetic, situational/environmental factors compounding my depression. I don’t have depression anymore but I did for 35 years.

One question I have is what makes you feel like a coward? I can assure you that you are not a coward. Anyone who has picked up the ACIM book is definitely not a coward. :)

Curious to know. I think one of the biggest things with ACIM is that it should be studied one on one or by going through personal inventory. The message of the course course is consistent, however, it applies to each individual in a very unique way. And it helps to look at ACIM in regards to your like experiences. It’s really about you. The Course is about you and your life experiences. That’s not an egoist approach. Nothing can change the fact that ultimately we are all one from the same source of love. But you have to lift each item from your life one at a time to let the light in. That can happen quickly. I think this is why psychotherapy is so important.

Light and live and rainbows 🌈
:-)

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