Ask: I am very depressed. Can you help me endure?
263) “… I am feeling very depressed right now
about lack of money and about losing my job, and about trying to just get
by. I am taking an anti-depressant medicine for years now, which has
helped. Now I feel like I don’t feel that I want to go
on. I am trying to bring my ego issues to Jesus/Holy Spirit to look
at them with Truth. But my money worries pop up. Just now I realized
that another pipe has broken and I am at my wit’s end.
…I see these passages about depression (copied below) and
I am in despair. What is the Text really saying about
depression? I don’t have any hope that I can find my way out. What
is the Course saying about depression when it feels real and painful to me like a
bad long term illness? I wonder if ending my life now in this
horrible dead-end world would be a solution. Here are passages that
confuse me if Jesus/Holy Spirit wants me to look beyond this 3D
world. My meditation focus words have been lately: “God
is. Nothing else is.” If depression is nothing, am I a confused Course student? Am I to just endure
and wait for the depression to go away someday? Can you help me endure?…
T-4.IV.3. ‘When you are sad, know
this need not be. Depression comes from a sense of being deprived of something
you want and do not have. Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by
your own decisions, and then decide otherwise.’
T-8.VII.1. ‘When you equate yourself
with a body you will always experience depression.’
T-8.VII.8. ‘There is nothing so
frustrating to a learner as a curriculum he cannot learn. His sense of adequacy
suffers, and he must become depressed. Being faced with an impossible learning
situation is the most depressing thing in the world. In fact, it is ultimately
why the world itself is depressing. The Holy Spirit's curriculum is never
depressing, because it is a curriculum of joy. Whenever the reaction to
learning is depression, it is because the true goal of the curriculum has been
lost sight of.’
T-8.VII.13. ‘The opposite of joy
is depression. When your learning promotes depression instead of joy, you
cannot be listening to God's joyous Teacher and learning His lessons.’” – SS (May 17, 2019)
If you are
truly feeling suicidal, please call (in the US) 1-800-suicide, go to your local
emergency room, or see a mental health professional. Depression is a pernicious,
self-perpetuating disease. There is always a way out of it. Do not let it
convince you otherwise.
You are not being asked by the Holy
Spirit (Awareness of Truth in your mind) to endure. Here’s another quote from A Course in Miracles:
“God
has no secrets. He does not lead you through a world of misery, waiting to tell
you, at the journey's end, why He did this to you.” (T-22.I.3)
All the quotes you offered were for
someone experiencing a depression that did not have a brain chemical origin.
They all say the same thing: When you are depressed you are listening to the
ego (personal thought system).
Some people have a genetic
propensity to depression. It runs in their family and they may need medication
throughout their life to deal with it. Others have a situational depression
that passes on its own, through talk-therapy, or techniques learned through
self-help programs (like ACIM, 12-steps, meditation, etc). Sometimes, however,
a situational depression leads to chemical changes in one’s brain and they need
to be on medication for a short while. In any case, whatever its source,
depression leads to dark thoughts, which leads to more depression, which leads
to more dark thoughts, and on and on. You want to work on your thinking (therapy;
self-help) to get the most out of any antidepressant medication.
You say you
have been on antidepressants and they have helped, but it sounds like you are
not being helped by them now. You should probably consult with your prescribing
doctor and therapist.
It is not
contradictory to be an ACIM student and to take medication and to go to a
traditional therapist. The Holy Spirit helps us with our worldly problems
through worldly sources. Once your brain is back in balance, you will be better
able to understand and apply the lessons and concepts in ACIM.
>>>>
I mentor students of ACIM from a
practical, how-life-in-the-world-really-is perspective.
If you want to benefit from my
experience and lighten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com
to set up an appointment for mentoring. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
Comments
Extension Via Joel Goldsmith
Wrote down a message,
Quieted the mind to open the conduit for the Holy Spirit,
Message went out via Holy Spirit.
My part is finished. Where it goes and what happens is not my concern.
I leave the computer and walk down the hall,
I say to Jesus "I am one of Your teachers. This is what I do."
I lay down for my afternoon nap.
p.s.
It's not exactly an answer to your situation but here they also discuss ACIM and depression if you scroll down: https://understandacim.com/2016/01/16/acim-text-reading-workbook-lesson-for-january-16/
When your meds stop working things like relationships, spirituality, learning, just need to be put on hold. Trying to work through relationship issues while your in the middle of depression or some other kind of illness is just a no win situation. Your mind keeps saying you can do it you can do it... Go watch a sitcom.
"If you stop the thoughts, is your situation bad at all?"
(I imagine it probably isn't so bad & it's our continued, progressive bad situations like bills not paid, power getting cut off, no money to employ Liz to mentor us, dog sick, brother dying, teeth falling out etc etc << all our thoughts compound. Yea,that's the word I was looking for: compound! (compounding chaos)!
Stay here with us now please & we can help each other. After all, we are all 'The One' aren't we! (I wish my ELECTRICITY company would believe that lol)
Try to be kind to yourself.💐
From someone who truly knows ur pain 💐
When I think of dying, it brings a sense of relief - oddly enough. But what has been the worst source of depression - as far as I can see of guilt. That idea is no more evident than when I think to myself - "I am a coward". It's the most pervasive idea I lived with an entire lifetime - now at age 61. Even when I interpret the Course - the idea becomes "you who have yet to face fear will suffer the consequences of guilt until you have the courage to face up" There are many days I bury my face in my hands in mental anguish. I honestly believe I will die a coward by my own hand. Yet I believe the "point of reckoning" will haunt me beyond the grave. God help me . . .
I am 47 and can relate to everything you’ve said about depression. I had both my own brain chemistry bing out of whack along with chemical, genetic, situational/environmental factors compounding my depression. I don’t have depression anymore but I did for 35 years.
One question I have is what makes you feel like a coward? I can assure you that you are not a coward. Anyone who has picked up the ACIM book is definitely not a coward. :)
Curious to know. I think one of the biggest things with ACIM is that it should be studied one on one or by going through personal inventory. The message of the course course is consistent, however, it applies to each individual in a very unique way. And it helps to look at ACIM in regards to your like experiences. It’s really about you. The Course is about you and your life experiences. That’s not an egoist approach. Nothing can change the fact that ultimately we are all one from the same source of love. But you have to lift each item from your life one at a time to let the light in. That can happen quickly. I think this is why psychotherapy is so important.
Light and live and rainbows 🌈
:-)