Born Again in Christ (Consciousness)
I am back in the United States after a year in Australia where I followed a Holy Relationship, which continues into a new phase. Everyone wants to know how I find it here now, back in the city (Las Vegas, Nevada) I left a year ago after dismantling the life I had been living. So I thought I would just tell you all in one fell swoop!
Las Vegas is familiar, but not natural to me. It feels like a foreign land I once visited. I live with a sister across the city from where I lived before, but I have been to my old neighborhood and I even drove past my former home. It is hard for me to believe only a year has passed since I went through that huge dismantling. In fact, it is hard to believe I ever lived that life. Not only can I not find the self that lived that life, I cannot find the self that left it. And as my time in Australia wound down I could feel who I had been there falling away, too.
When I experienced what I call The Break, which was when I rose in consciousness, I told my then-wife, Courtney, that I could not reconcile my old life with my new life. I was not talking about her and Hannah, with whom I had discovered a Holy Relationship; I was not talking about my old life in the world and a new life in the world. I was talking about a consciousness. I (this mind) could not continue on as it was. The life I had lived had served its purpose. It was over and I am grateful to it for getting me (this mind) to this higher consciousness. But I (this mind) had to change and had to embark on a deep shedding and reshaping, which continues, gratefully past the most difficult part.
I am Spirit. This knowledge is what The Break was about. I am learning what this means. The past year was hardly enough to show me, as it was more about what had passed than What had come. But I have grown more into What I am and this continues in this next phase.
In my last days in Albany, Western Australia, the thought would sometimes come to me: “I died here and I was born here.” A shift in consciousness is not an intellectual acceptance of an idea, but the actual transformation of a mind. It is a whole new life.