Wanting What Will Happen
If I can be said to have a desire, it is for what will happen. It does not make sense to want anything else! To do so would mean opposing myself, because I now know I am That from Which it all unfolds. I no longer feel I am a thread independent of the tapestry. I am the tapestry expressing as this thread.
This makes it very difficult to speak to people who are not on the same path about my experience. Did I want to leave Australia? No; it wasn’t about want. Did I want to stay? Not at the moment, because I could feel leaving was the next step. Do I want to go back? Yes, but that’s because I feel I will. If that changes, I will feel complete with Australia.
Acting is no longer about desire, or want, or motivation for me; it’s about feeling the movement of the unfolding through me. I willingly move as I am moved and my feelings seem to keep pace with the movement.
What do you want? What would make you happy? What are your plans for the future? These are not relevant questions to me anymore! I am here/now. I get up each day and do that day. Sometimes the day includes making plans or arrangements for the future, but I often don’t know this until I’m moved to do it. Decisions often come suddenly, but then they unfold smoothly.
This does not mean I don’t have personal preferences, but they are mild. I was sad to leave people and places I love, but I really feel no different where I am now. Nothing outside of me determines my internal state. I am here/now. Obviously, this is where I’m meant to be.