There Is No "I" In God

It takes me a while to fully absorb the lessons I learn when I have a revelation like the one I shared a few blogs ago (see Unsettled). The revelation itself – the direct experience of God – cannot be shared. It’s when I am “coming back”, as it were, that I learn something different each time.

Spirit in its knowledge is unaware of the ego. It does not attack it; it merely cannot conceive of it at all. While the ego is equally unaware of spirit, it does perceive itself as being rejected by something greater than itself. (T-4.II.8)

I’ve understood all along that God cannot know ego and that ego cannot know God. God only knows that a Part of It is unhappy and has sent Help (the Holy Spirit) to undo the unhappiness. The ego only knows that there is Something Else that gets your attention. They are diametrically opposed and so have nothing in common over which to meet. But this was the first time I experienced in all its starkness this complete disconnection between these two parts of my mind. The ego is all “I”; and there is no “I” at all in God. God just is, everywhere. Ego is the separate thing, delineated, not connected to anything, sort of drifting off on its own.

Following on the heels of this lesson was the awareness that I have long held a mistaken belief that, whenever the time came and the Holy Spirit was done with “me”, that “I” would be absorbed into the Oneness of God again. But there is nothing to return to God because God is Whole and Complete, always. “I” is not “reabsorbed”, it is recognized as nothing and it is gone. There is no “when the time comes”, there is only now.

“I need do nothing” has taken on deeper meaning for me. God already is; I only have to let go of nothingness to be aware of this.

All that he really learned so far was that he did not want the valueless, and that he did want the valuable. Yet his own sorting out was meaningless in teaching him the difference. The idea of sacrifice, so central to his own thought system, had made it impossible for him to judge. (M-4.I.A.7)

The distinction between “the re-absorbed I” and “I is nothing” is subtle, but important. It made me see I was still holding on to “I” on a deep, unseen level and it was blocking my seeing the complete disconnect between God and ego. And that is what the “sorting out” we do as we awaken is all about. I understood forgiveness, but not fully. I knew that forgiveness meant recognizing all illusion is illusion and that only God is real. But I didn’t include the complete “I” in the illusion that I had to forgive. In fact, there is nothing to forgive, because there is no “me” to do the forgiving! Only God is.

No one forgives unless he has believed in sin, and still believes that he has much to be forgiven. Forgiveness thus becomes the means by which he learns he has done nothing to forgive. (T-26.IV.1)

The last stage before complete peace is the giving up of judgment (good/bad; right/wrong; valuable/invaluable) because judgment is the means of making nothingness seem like something. Judgment closes your mind.

In giving up judgment, he is merely giving up what he did not have. He gives up an illusion; or better, he has an illusion of giving up. (M-10.2)

In the Unsettled blog I talked about being guided to go through/over/around fear. After I posted that blog I realized that there is no fear. The fear I felt was the fear of “I” and there is no “I”. I don’t need to go through/over/around fear because it is nothing. This is all I have to realize. But who has to realize that the ego and fear are nothing? There is nothing to realize that nothing is nothing!

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Comments

Seamus said…
Liz,

What I read from this is: the "me" is in "we"...

Cheers!
laurie said…
Jesus Liz, I am so bloody grateful that you are walking ahead of us and are willing to share what you've learned with us. It's almost like you are doing the heavy lifting for me, or at least showing me what to expect and how to interpret it when it arises....

Love,

Laurie

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