Ask: Why would I fear God?

A Course in Miracles says that I fear God. But I don’t feel that I fear God. It also does not make sense to me. Why would I fear God?

            You think that you do not fear God but look at the evidence: Are you aware that God is your True Being and that only God is real? Do you recognize that the self and its world are nothing? If you knew these things you would experience only peace all of the time. Do you? If not, what is blocking your way? It can only be fear.
            When you are identified with a self you fear God for many reasons. God is formless Being extending infinitely. It is an experience of wholeness unlike the limited experience of the self in every way. From the limited experience of the self God seems like the Great Unknown. And what is unknown is frightening.
You also know on some level that an awareness of God undoes the self. So when you are identified with a self you feel that God will “kill” you.
            The personal experience is the opposite of God. It is the denial of God. Denial itself makes you fear what you deny. Why would you deny something unless it is undesirable? The denial that is the entire personal experience seems to imply to your mind that God is something to be feared.
Your denial also makes you unaware that the personal experience is a benign, meaningless idea of the impossible. You think that you have attacked God. You unconsciously feel guilty for it. And guilt makes you fear retaliation from God.
So you fear God when you are identified with a self because you do not know God and you think that God will kill you. Your fear is unconscious and so woven into the personal experience that you do not know that it is fear. The entire personal experience is guilt and fear.
Your fear of God is so huge that you are not yet even able to acknowledge it. But you can see the evidence of it in the guilt and fear that seem real to you. Recognizing fear is the essential first step in releasing it.
The catch-22 is that to overcome your fear of God you must be aware of God! This is why growing your awareness of God is so slow in the beginning. You must ask to help you overcome fear the very Thing that you fear. But just a little willingness and trust is all that is needed:  “I’m afraid of You but maybe I’ve been wrong about You. I am willing to question my beliefs about You so that I can get to know You. I am open to Your help as I look at these beliefs. ”

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